


Sweet Sensations

by hauntedbyangels



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Artist Keith, Background Relationships, Bisexual Lance, Cutesy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Finished, Fluff, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hurt/Comfort, It has about as much happiness as I do, Keith becomes Lance's muse, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, There is so much pain, You Have Been Warned, cliche au that no one needs, currently sinking deeper into klance hell, dude this is actually just pure angst, i swear its gonna end happy, writer lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-08-30 22:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 47,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8550994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hauntedbyangels/pseuds/hauntedbyangels
Summary: Working in a bakery as a college student was most definitely not the worst decision that Lance had ever made, instead he thought that it was rather ingenious. He met plenty of pretty girls as well as boys, there was inspiration for his writing everywhere, and most importantly, it led him to encountering his new muse, a good-looking artist who worked often in the bakery and had an impressive eye for aesthetic.Keith has no idea what led him to love that little bakery so much, but as a struggling artist, it became a place of shelter for him. His art hadn't taken a turn in awhile and had begun to feel the same, it seemed that nothing could bring the right colors into his life. Little did he know, there were plenty of opportunities for something new just around the corner.





	1. The Color of Inspiration

**Author's Note:**

> yoyoyo here's a bakery au you didn't ask for (kind of like a coffee shop au?? whoops lol) 
> 
> I started this instead of what I'm supposed to be writing for NaNoWriMo :D
> 
> Currently, digging myself deeper and deeper into Klance hell, go me!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy~
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://hauntedbyangels.tumblr.com/) if you want to chat!

Words for Lance were something of incredible power. Every word had its meaning and every sentence had its own life. Words could do anything, they could stop people from getting hurt, they could create worlds with one powerful stroke, and they could mend even the most shattered of hearts. To him, that was beautiful. Words were precious and people often did not understand the true weight of their words, they held so much power that once they were spoken could never be taken back. A single word could kill someone in the right situation. A word could save someone in another situation. There was so much possibility when it came to words, that's why Lance couldn't think why anyone would want to study anything else, who would want to study numbers and formulas when they could wield the power of worlds with an asset that they all were given as they grew. 

Perhaps it was because he had such a great, unyielding desire to be remembered, he didn't want fame or fortune, he only wanted to be remembered, and he couldn't think of a better way to be remembered than through words. So naturally, he had decided to study creative writing at the local college he attended, and the rest of his time was spent either working at the small local bakery or writing his stories. He often wrote while his friends worked on their own assignments because he loved to know their opinions on his ideas (until they got unnecessarily snarky or sarcastic, which to be fair, was mostly Pidge's fault, seeing they could never take his work seriously). 

One day as they worked, Pidge had leaned over his shoulder to read the screen and had snorted before sitting down to open their textbook. The rest of the hour had been Lance asking them what had been so wrong with what he was writing and they never gave him a straightforward answer, instead, they smiled smugly to themselves and continued to do engineering homework.

Moments like those made writing with his friends rather difficult, but Hunk had great insights and was a surprisingly good editor when Lance really needed it (e.g when he had a deadline for one of his assignments that he wrote in the span of one all-nighter and was on the verge of a mental breakdown). Outside of class was really the only place he saw his friends, seeing they were all in different classes for their various majors, so meeting for coffee and to study at the bakery where Lance had ended up working was something they often made a priority whenever they could. Somedays Lance felt like he practically lived in the small, understaffed bakery, and he practically did (he had already slept there multiple times over the course of the year he had worked there) and they had still never put up signs for more staff. The owner--A woman named Allura--wasn't all too keen on hiring anyone she didn't test extensively before trusting. Lance had somehow made it through those tests and had probably only gotten through because Hunk had worked there for a month before Lance applied and would have been lost without Hunk's help.

They had both offered to try to get Pidge a job there as well but they had refused, saying they didn't especially want anything to do with the chemistry of cooking. 

In result, Pidge would work on their assignments and drink the coffee that Hunk or Lance poured them. They must have found it rather amusing to watch them supply the bakery and serve coffee because one of the small tables by the window became their regular study spot. Lance could almost feel their amusement when he flirted with the pretty girls who would come in looking for something sweet, they would laugh even harder when he tried to flirt with some of the men as well.

"Hey," Lance had once said defensively. "I'm most definitely the Bi-est Bi person you'll ever be  _Bi_."

"Your Bisexual puns are not appreciated," Pidge informed him.

"Yeah well your scorn is not appreciated!"

"You signed up for it with our friendship buddy, so get over yourself." 

With an exasperated groan, Lance had gone back to his work. 

The Bakery itself became one of Lance's favorite places to be. It was small, cozy, and friendly. Everyone who came in was kind and looking for something to make their day slightly better. The walls were painted a light shade of pink that was accented with a light buttercream yellow. There were big windows that lit up the place even more, and the tables were light colored wood with white chairs. The display case of bakery goods was always lit up with their products that had small designs on them and were always created to look beautiful and happy. That's why he loved the place so much, there was so much positivity that was poured into the small bakery, and the way the employees (though they were few) were always kind, even on a stressful day there was a reason to smile.

'It's kind of unsettling how happy and bright this place is compared to the rest of the world," Pidge pointed out with suspicion when they had first started working in the place.

"I think that makes it beautiful." Lance countered.

"It is pretty happy," Hunk said, looking around. "It's supposed to be a source of joy in the lives of others, something of light in their days."

"No dark emo-ness allowed here I  _guess_ ," Pidge rolled their eyes.

Lance breathed the scent of the bakery. "Exactly."

~

Keith considered himself to be many things, and both positive and cutesy were definitely not two of the things that Keith saw himself as, so the bakery that Shiro had asked him to meet at definitely was not his ideal place to be. Yet, he endured because he knew that Allura, Shiro's girlfriend owned the place, and it honestly seemed to fit her outgoing, positive attitude fairly well, and he'd hate to ruin her good vibes with his negativity.

The problem was, he was fairly negative. He hadn't grown up well until High School when Shiro had gotten a place and convinced him to stay with him until Keith was old enough to move out and get his own place. That's why he was meeting Shiro there because they were like brothers, they had both grown up without families and because of that, they had shared a close bond ever since they had met. 

Keith had gone on to move out after being accepted into a rather high-class art school. Now he spent most days in an art studio. He was still unsure which way he wanted to go with his art. He had considered almost all of the paths he could take with every degree, but so far he hadn't been able to decide which route to take. He knew a few professors who thought he should go into drawing and painting, and then others who thought illustration would suit him better, yet he still wasn't sure, all he knew was that he loved the sensation of watching art unfold beneath him into something more than it had started out as when it was blank.

As he waited for Shiro to meet him at the small bakery, Keith placed his sketchbook on the table and continued to work on something he had started earlier. He tended to work with charcoal, finding the simple black and white of the pictures aesthetically pleasing and the fit him rather well. There was no point in using color when he looked around and saw everything in a muted tune. He didn't find the colors of the world moving, instead, he found them rather dull and inconvenient, so instead, color became something that he often left out unless he was instructed to do otherwise.

Why would he create works of color when his inspiration was as colorless the pages he stared at or the gray sky on a cloudy autumn day. 

He put his pencil on the paper again, letting the charcoal slide, yes, this was the color of his inspiration, not bright and happy like the bakery around him, and certainly not on fire like the autumn leaves. Instead, his inspiration was entirely colorless and bleak, and he would keep it that way until he found a reason to change it for good.

~

Lance was ever so enveloped in his work and his writing as the year went on. In his classes, they looked at great works that had been celebrated for their meaning and the way the author had created such symbolistic pictures with a painting made of words. Some authors had clear inspirations, their muses had been a loved one, the world around them, or a stranger on the street, rushing to catch a bus. Others, the muses were so disguised most would never know what had driven them to write in that way, no one could even guess what had triggered such a complex picture in their head that led them to ask so many questions.

Lance himself, had found no great muse, no greater meaning to his words, and nothing to write for besides his ambition to be remembered for his words. If the stars would only bless him with a reason to write, someone or something that would trigger something new and inspirational within him. He needed a muse, and not even the bakery with its constant flow of people and interesting topics that went by him as he worked would satisfy him. Nothing held his attention long enough to be worth writing about. He needed more than something to write about, he needed something to write _for._

If he could buy inspiration then all the money in the world wouldn't be enough to satisfy him. The world around him was beautiful in color and still it wasn't something to write about. The harder he searched, the more he found himself drawing a blank. Lance liked the prospect of beauty, he liked beauty on other people, on himself, and in the world around him. Beauty could be simple or extravagant, and something like beauty never seemed to run out. Yet whenever he saw things of beauty, of color and outgoing light, he couldn't help but feel like it still wasn't enough to inspire him again. So Lance poured himself into the work at the bakery instead, temporarily trying to forget about his dwindling inspiration and growing writer's block. If he worked harder on the pastries and making the people who came in happy, then perhaps eventually something would strike inspiration into him and send him straight back to his metaphors and his symbolism. 

Out of habit, Lance continued to write on previous projects and his assigned projects, but they still lacked something. The work felt flat and he wasn't in awe of the words that came out of him and covered the page. He supposed he could be rather dramatic when it came to how beautiful he thought writing was, but also it was passion that drove him and if he couldn't find fire within his words, how else was he supposed to continue to feel passion towards what he created. Without the intensity of his love being poured into the writing, it was nothing. 

"Is there something wrong with you?" Pidge asked after the day of classes finished and they met up to start walking towards the bakery. The bakery was probably about a mile from the campus and they tried to walk most days for a good work out, also the apartments that Lance lived in were close to the bakery anyway so it was a bit of a waste to drive when everything was so close together.

"I haven't been able to find any inspiration to write lately," Lance started. "I'm not really depressed I don't think like I still love working and doing everything else, but every time I try to write it just seems so... dull, like there's nothing behind it, no real reason for it to even exist. Usually, I would think that there's a reason for everything to be written, like everything you write has to have some reason to exist, but recently, they haven't had a reason to exist."

Pidge was quiet for a moment as they walked. Hunk was probably already at the bakery, seeing his classes on Tuesday ended an hour earlier than Pidge and Lance's. "So like, you have intense writer's block or something?"

"I don't really know, I think I've somehow lost the passion that's been driving me to write so frequently, and I didn't know I had it until I lost it because I don't even know what it possibly could have been."

"So you weren't writing _for_ anyone before?" 

"No one but myself really."

"Are you still writing for yourself? Or have you given up on that too?" They gave him a pointed look. "If you get too absorbed with your desire to be remembered, you won't be, you'll be forgotten. The greatest people never strived for their greatness, I think you're too focused on the end result rather than what's in front of you."

Lance frowned. "I've always strived for greatness Pidge, why would anything be different?"

"Maybe you finally think that you might be able to actually do it, and that's all your writing is now."

"Then shouldn't I feel _more_ inspired?"

They shrugged. "Not necessarily."

Lance shook his head. "This is confusing, you're saying I  _shouldn't_ want to be remembered?"

"I just think you should try focusing on what's right in front of you for awhile, and write for the hell of it, not because of anyone else who might end up reading it. Give yourself a break, let yourself breathe, and just write, see how it goes."

"Okay, I guess I could try that..."

Pidge smiled. They're big glasses sliding down their small nose a bit. They're hair was poofing out slightly awkwardly that day, they obviously hadn't gotten enough sleep and had probably gone to bed with wet hair after a rushed shower based on the way their hair stood. It was an effort not to try and fix their hair, but Lance kept the urge to himself. Pidge almost never asked for his help with anything, and he respected their independence immensely, even if it sometimes worried him when they would show up looking like they hadn't slept in days or gotten enough to eat with how focused they had been on their latest project.  

As long as Hunk and Lance kept an eye on them, then it was fine that Pidge had a bad habit of not taking care of themselves when they were too focused on their work. That's what friends were for, he supposed, they were all there for each other for anything that they were going through and sometimes Lance felt like his friends were the only ones who kept him sane.

As soon as they got to the bakery, Lance dropped his stuff off in the staff room and clocked in. Allura was there that day, and her boyfriend Shiro had decided to swing by after work and was talking with her outside the staff room. When Lance slipped by he smiled and went back to affectionately teasing Allura.

Lance went out to restock the bakery case as Pidge came up and ordered coffee from Hunk who made small talk for a moment while he got her drink. It wasn't too much longer until Shiro made his way out of the back and went to sit down at a table with a guy that Lance didn't recognize. He didn't think twice about it until he saw Pidge get up from her spot and run over to where they were sitting, her voice excited and rather loud in the small bakery. 

Lance frowned over at Hunk who merely shrugged. Hunk and Lance had known each other since High School and had only met Pidge in classes during the first two years at their university. It was probably one of Pidge's old friends from High School, who also happened to know Shiro.  

With a shrug, Lance went back to work, there couldn't be anything too special about the guy. He had his black hair pulled up in a ponytail, and Lance could see that he had at least one ear pierced. So Pidge knew some weird punk-looking guy from high school, not exactly the biggest surprise all day. Honestly, what could be special about that guy?  

Except, curiosity was tugging at Lance and the shop wasn't exactly buzzing with business at the moment. Lance looked over at Hunk again, wanting to go see what was going on. Hunk seemed curious too, but he didn't budge. Lance found Allura in the back pulling something out of the oven.

"Hey, Lance,"  She said sweetly. Lance smiled, moving to help her with the trays. 

"Who's the guy Shiro's meeting with?" Lance asked after a moment. 

"Oh, that's Keith, why?"

"No reason, Pidge knows him somehow, I was just wondering."

Allura nodded. "I don't know a ton about him, just that Shiro and he grew up together and they're kind of like brothers. Keith is an art student at a local art school, but he's fairly private about his art and his life. He seems like a nice guy, though, you should talk to him if you get a break." She went back to moving the pastries to a cooling rack and Lance nodded, taking it as permission to skip out a bit on his shift.

Lance found Hunk and pulled him aside. "Allura said we can go see what's going on if you're curious." Hunk frowned.

"You know, it's not our conversation, I'm good back here, have fun though."

"HuNK no! You're supposed to come with me as backup! What if this guy is hot and I freeze up or something, come on!"

Hunk snorted. "When have you ever needed backup while flirting?"

"This isn't about flirting, this is about finding out why Pidge is talking to him, I'm _curious!_ "

Hunk sighed. "Their just friends from high school, I'm sure of it." 

"Let's find out!"

"Fine."

Lance walked over to the table with a smile and tapped Pidge's shoulder. Shiro smiled at Lance and Hunk and Pidge rolled their eyes. The guy, Keith, straightened in his chair a bit, his eyes narrowing unfriendly at Lance. He was certainly hot, but Lance froze, he didn't like the way Keith was looking at him, it seemed rather rude if he were being honest. 

"Hey, who's this?" Lance asked, trying to sound cheerful. Pidge turned in their chair and flicked Lance's nose mercilessly. 

"This is Keith, I know him from high school, why aren't you doing your job?"

"Break," Lance said with a smile. "Isn't that right, Hunk?"

"I'm going back to my job," Hunk said flatly, turning to go back to behind the counter. Lance turned back to Pidge, muttering something about feeling betrayed. 

"Any-y-way, what's up with you all," Lance said, directing the conversation back around. 

"Just catching up, I haven't seen Keith in like a year," Pidge said, they turned back. "This is Lance, by the way, he's really annoying but has a big heart, also he's a creative writing major, which is pretty cool if you're into that sort of thing."

"Wow, my friends are betraying me hard tonight," Lance pouted. "First Hunk, now you," Pidge didn't bat an eye.

"Your ego needs a good bruising now and then," They responded without missing a beat.

"Rude," Lance said, sticking out his tongue. "Why are you like this to me?"

Keith looked like he had stopped listening and was staring out the window disinterestedly. He had a sketchbook on the table in front of him and Lance could see the remains of charcoal smeared on the outside of his right hand from where it had touched the paper. Keith was actually really, really hot. His hair was pulled up loosely, and both of his ears were pierced. His face was a really nice shape, his cheekbones sharp and his eyes a dark blue. Hell, the guy was pretty much gorgeous if Lance felt like admitting it. 

"Because you deserve it most of the time," Pidge responded. "Now run along pastry boy, we're talking." Lance rolled his eyes and turned away, throwing Keith one last glance before walking back to his post behind the counter.

The other boy never looked back at him. 


	2. Something New, Something Beautiful

Keith didn't know what pulled him back to the small bakery that day. He had finished his day working on a new piece in the studio and his eyes felt tired and a bit strained from the hours of staring at the paper, his hand moving across strategically to create something new. He had watched through the day as his art continued to gain new aspects from the moment it had begun, but by the end, he still had not been satisfied. There was always room for improvement, he knew that much, but for him, the problem seemed to have become that he didn't feel like there was anything behind what his art had become. It was aesthetically pleasing and to others, it was something entirely moving and wonderful, but still, Keith felt like it was missing the emotion that usually drove his work to become something new. 

Many of his pieces had felt this way lately, and part of him was wondering if he had ever had any talent in the first place or if it had simply been another painful hoax in his life that he had gotten into that art school. Maybe the stars were preparing to throw a wrench in his life again and take away even his art, which for the longest time now had become one of the only things he had left to care about. Keith sighed as he walked, breathing in the crisp autumn air and letting it cleanse his lungs. If the world around him could find so many reasons to be so cruel, then he would have to find even more reasons to keep going, even if it was solely out of spite.

That was another reason why he got together to talk with Shiro so often, because if Keith needed another reason to live, it would always be because of his brother. They had gone through so much together over the years and Keith knew that he could always rely on the other man to have his back. So they tried to talk as often as possible between Shiro's work, Keith's education, and the time they both spent either with significant others or simply to themselves when they were finally free from responsibility. 

It was a rare day for Keith, where he was free from his responsibilities right at the end of his time in the studio, and he had the rest of the afternoon and evening to himself and for whatever he wanted to do. 

Somehow, he ended up walking to that small, pastel bakery on the corner of two roads in the local town. If one was to leave the bakery and cross the street, they would be walking on the path next to the river, and if they were to go the other way they would venture further into the shopping areas and eventually reach nearby apartment complexes and restaurants, everything was within a close walking distance, even local college was within walking distance. For the most part, Keith viewed the peaceful place as a college-town, yet it was constantly peaceful as if the players didn't exist and everyone had made some sort of agreement to keep the quiet peace in place as if it was off-limits to disturb.

Keith watched the river as he walked, fiery leaves falling from trees and scattering across the top of the path and dark water. It was a rather lovely image to see the bright red and orange leaves stark like fire against the dark, green-blue of the river. If he felt like it, perhaps he would try to recreate the image later in his sketchbook, yet, without those intense colors, nothing would ever quite compare to the moment of watching leaves die and fall to the earth. Soon they would curl in on themselves and wither away until they were nothing more than dust in the wind, and perhaps the stars meant to show that with every falling leaf, any one of them could be next on that same cycle of life.

Crisp air blew around him as a car raced down the street. It took a moment for Keith to realize that he had stopped to stare at the leaves. A slow breath and another step later, he was walking away. 

The bakery was right in front of him now, and he hesitated before going in. Last time Pidge had been there, which had been a rather nice surprise seeing he hadn't seen them for almost a year, and sometimes Pidge was the only one who truly grasped his morbid sense of humor. The first time Keith had made a joke about dying around Shiro's girlfriend, Allura, she had physically taken a step back and looked like she was on the verge of calling him a therapist. Pidge, on the other hand, had taught him most everything about finding joy in the most morbid moments. 

Keith smiled fondly at the memories and opened the bakery door, letting the warm air rush over him, mixed with the delicious smells of fresh pastries in their case and brewing coffee. He felt his heart swell a bit when he looked around. The place was so damn cute, and it may not have suited his personality completely, but he found himself drawn to this place, and he found himself slowly falling in love with the pastel pink walls and the buttercream yellow accents. He understood how Pidge's new friends worked here every day, even Keith was sure he could get used to working in such a frilly place, it was simply so positive and it felt like the sun had been harnessed inside this small bakery. Everyone that entered left with their day a bit brighter than it had started out, somehow that light happiness was contained within the walls of the bakery and Keith could feel it with every breath of the heavenly aroma that filled the bakery.

 _Sweet Sensations_ , that's what Allura had named her small bakery, and Keith couldn't help but feel that it was the most beautifully fitting name that she could have possibly come up with. He found a small table next to the window and set his messenger bag down, digging his wallet out before turning to order himself something to drink and eat while he worked.

As he approached the counter, Keith looked around to see if Pidge was anywhere to be found, yet he couldn't find them anywhere. It was a shame, but understandable, they were probably studying as vigorously as usual and didn't have time to waste at the bakery for now. The bakery was rather small anyway if they were there Keith probably would have noticed them right away.

On the other hand, the employees that Pidge knew were both there. One of them was leaning against the back counter complaining a bit too loudly. Lance was his name, at least Keith hoped he had remembered it right. He hadn't actually spoken to the other boy the day that Pidge had introduced him, mostly because he had already been tired with the day and another person to have a pointless conversation with hadn't been the first thing on his mind. 

But now, Lance was there, leaning against the counter with a pout. He was rather good-looking if Keith felt like admitting it, Lance's skin was a beautiful tanned bronze color, his eyes a grayish blue and there was a handful of freckles across his face that were difficult to make out but were definitely there. The way the other boy stood was relaxed and lazy, but also it seemed to add to his personality, he wasn't necessarily slouching, he just stood like he was comfortable with himself and the space he was in.

Keith blinked, shaking his head for a moment, trying to push the thoughts about the other boy away and ringing the little service bell. Lance's head shot up, and he met Keith's eyes.

 _Shit,_ Keith thought momentarily as the guy strode over, his sleeves rolled up and his forearms showing.  _He's kinda hot..._

"Hey, artist guy!" Lance smiled, he had a nice smile, though it kind of reminded Keith of a smirk and it seemed to be slightly condescending which made Keith frown in the moment.

"Keith," Keith said a bit flatly. 

"Yeah, that, I'm horrible with names and it's been like a week so sorry about that." He smiled sheepishly. "What can I get for you, artist guy Keith?"

"Just a coffee and--" Keith paused for a moment, shrugging as he looked at the pastry case. "I don't know, what's your recommendation, annoying meme-guy?"

Lance's jaw dropped a bit. "Is that what Pidge calls me?!"

"Occasionally."

"I'm going to fucking kill them," Lance muttered. "The name's  _Lance_ ,"

"Right," Keith said, mostly just to watch Lance bristle. "What's your recommendation, _Lance?_ "

"Uhm, well the blueberry muffins are our most popular, and they're to die for in my opinion, Allura and Hunk know what they're doing when it comes to recipes," 

Keith nodded. "Sure, I'll have that then." Lance rung him up and he paid, Lance wrote his name on the cup and moved to get his order. There was practically no one else in the bakery besides a passing person every so often, so at the moment, idle chatter didn't seem to cause Lance much trouble since he had no other customers. It surprised Keith a bit how empty the bakery was, but he supposed it would likely get a bit busier when the students at the nearby college got out of their classes or got off work.

"So," Lance started as he handed Keith his cup and muffin. "What kind of art do you 'specialize' in?"

Keith frowned, he didn't quite know himself. "I'm thinking about finishing my degree in illustration, but I also do a lot of drawing and paintings."

"Cool, cool," Lance said. "I'm not going to pretend to know a  _ton_ about art, but how many opportunities are there for work when you major in something like drawing or painting? Out of curiosity of course."

"I don't really think the decision to go into art is about the job opportunities." Keith shrugged. "I think it's more about where you feel lead to go with something that can change the world. There aren't always job opportunities for something like that, but there's always the satisfaction of finishing, the passion, and the emotion that makes going into something like drawing or painting worth it."

Lance nodded, pushing off the counter with a contemplative frown. "That's interesting, I like it."

"Thanks?"

Lance gave him another one of those shitty-smirking grins before turning back to his work, obviously meaning for Keith to take that as an invitation to go back to his work. So Keith took it, going back to his window table and setting down the coffee and muffin. He wasn't particularly fond of sweets, but he decided to give it a try for the day, and since he wanted to at least make a bit of small talk with Pidge's friend after so blatantly ignoring him when they had briefly met over a week ago.

Keith flipped his sketchbook open, staring blankly at what he had been working on the day before.

It seemed so lifeless, so bland. There was nothing that had driven him to draw that, no emotion, no underlying message for only him to know. Keith groaned softly to himself, turning the page, trying to forget about the drawing as he started to outline the next.

He began to draw those leaves he had seen along the way, but without color, for once, something felt like it was missing. He continued to sketch out the river beneath those leaves, and the droplet patterns as the various leaves touched the water. It still felt rather bland.

What was wrong with him? He had always enjoyed the simplicity of charcoal, he had always loved the look of gray against the white page, the contrast was supposed to mean something that was entirely unique to him.

Keith set his pencil down, reaching into his back to dig out his black outlining pens and Copic markers. Perhaps it was time for something new, change wasn't always a bad thing, right? Maybe it would lead to something beautiful, as beautiful as the little bakery around him, and as beautiful as the souls who worked within. He needed his art to become something else entirely in that moment. He stared at the large set of colors before him for a painfully long moment before picking out a particularly pretty shade of autumn red. He uncapped it and put it against the paper.

Then he was engulfed again within the holds of the scene that unfolded beneath him with every powerful stroke of color.

And in the small bakery on that autumn afternoon, he enjoyed every color that erupted against the paper and saw them in their full brilliance.

~

Watching him work was a work of art in it's own way.

Lance restocked the bakery case, refilled coffee's, and took care of whatever normal business he could like any other day, yet he found his eyes sliding back to the boy who sat at the window with a large set of colors in front of him and his sketchbook open against the light wood table. Keith had slipped his headphones on awhile ago to avoid any other noise distracting him, and the image of him sitting by the window with his hair pulled up, his red headphones on, and his heart being poured onto a page in the form of ink and brilliant colors made everything inside Lance sing with inspiration.

He had needed someone to work for and to inspire him for awhile now, he needed a new muse as some would say, and now Lance knew who he wanted that person to be. 

Keith hardly looked up, only paused to take a deep sip of his coffee, which was likely getting cold by now, or to pick at the muffin that Lance had recommended to him. He worked so intensely and with so much passion, it was a beautiful thing to watch, and it was even more difficult not to be distracted by the beautiful artist.

Before Lance was ready to watch him go, Keith must have finished, because he packed his things up and stood. They made eye contact for a long moment, something was lit up bright in Keith's eyes that Lance couldn't quite understand, and for a moment, realization flashed through Keith's eyes and he stared at Lance for longer than would have been usual before turning on his heel to leave the small bakery.

Lance was sad to watch him go.

~

Keith didn't know how it happened, but he started going to the bakery every Tuesday and Thursday after he was finished with classes and studio time. He found inspiration in the bakery, and it was worth it to see Lance's cocky smile every time he came back to share idle banter before going to work at his table on whatever he had felt like working on that day.

The colors in his bag started to become more and more special every time he went to the bakery, and he still wasn't quite sure what had caused him to feel so attached to the change in his style.

Lance had started coming to talk to him on breaks and had complimented Keith's use of color, and though he would usually pull away and shut people out of his art, he found himself smiling and letting his sketchbook sit where Lance could see it when he sat down to chat during his breaks.

Keith found out a lot about Lance in those weeks that followed. He found out how the other boy held a deep desire to be remembered, and that his writing hadn't ever seemed like enough to be shared with anyone. Lance had even begun to come over once he finished his shift to ask Keith's opinions on ideas and to write. 

Something between them had bloomed, and the friendship grew on him, even if Lance was still an annoying piece-of-shit some days, he was kind-hearted and he had brilliant ideas that with the right push would lead him straight to that greatness that he desired so greatly.

Keith had started to use the color blue quite fondly when he was around Lance, it reminded him of his eyes, and of the blue-sleeved raglan that Lance often wore. He also found himself trying to connect the freckles on Lance's face as if they were constellations. He could only hope that the other boy would never notice his idle stares that lasted much longer than acceptable for them simply being friends. Yet somehow, Lance had managed to bring so much color into Keith's world without even realizing it, and Keith hadn't been able to resist.

He wouldn't say that he had slowly begun to like the other boy in another way, instead, Keith viewed Lance as a source of inspiration, and somewhere in his heart drew a line. He would have to find a way keep it this way between them. 

Keith did not want to lose the color that he found in Lance's smile, so he wouldn't say that he felt anything more than friendship towards that boy.

Friendships could be a beautiful thing, but the stars knew better than anyone that something more was brewing between them. Something beautiful was being written into their intertwining fates during the crisp autumn months in a small bakery along the river.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheeeeee! I hope you are enjoying this so far because I sure as hell am!
> 
> It's already getting fluffy, and there's going to be more dialogue between them in the next chapters (seeing that it might seem that it's moving a bit too quickly, whoops lol)
> 
> Hella proud of these babes lol, also I should be studying but instead, my life is devoted intensely to this new au (send help omfg) :)))
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://hauntedbyangels.tumblr.com/%0A) if you want to chat~
> 
> ;-; tfw you already have awesome people reading and commenting, I love all of you~


	3. Soul To His Sadness

There was a line somewhere, hard and clear, a line that Lance knew was there for a reason, even when his heart told him that there could be no possible reason for that line to exist when he felt such heart-moving sensations and overflowing inspiration when he simply looked at the other person. 

There was a line, and it had to be there for some reason. The stars would not have put the idea of this invisible line into his mind without a good reason. 

For him, there had never been lines between other people and him. He wasn't one to particularly believe in something that could keep him from trying at the other person if he knew it was what he wanted. He had never refrained before, and now that it seemed so clear to refrain from making a move he didn't know what to think about himself or who he supposed to be. 

 _You've never refrained from your desires before because the others never mattered like this;_  Lance shivered as he walked down the path by the river on his way to working at the bakery. His head was spinning, the day of classes had left him feeling completely empty with the weight of his exhaustion weighing him down. It was only late afternoon but Lance felt as if he could sleep for an eternity. He had recently turned in two papers and ten-thousand-word short story and was still recovering from the all-nighters he had pulled. Pidge and Hunk had stopped by multiple times that weekend to make sure he was alright--he had the tendency to forgo taking care of himself when there was a deadline coming up. Hunk had to practically drag him out of their dorm multiple times in their first two years merely to make sure that Lance was getting enough to eat.

 _You need to take better care of yourself,_ Hunk had scolded, he and Pidge had physically sat him down to tell him how much they were worried about him after he exhibited such behaviors. Since then, Lance had felt bad enough to mostly try and think about himself when he was facing a deadline, but there were still nights where he went without sleep and days he went without proper sustenance. 

Lance smirked to himself. He was an idiot sometimes, but he was still alive, and he saw that as an achievement for the most part. 

Yet, the worst part about pushing himself to those limits was the emptiness that followed. He had no idea where he was supposed to start from now. He and Keith had been talking often at the bakery which had given him the chance to discuss various ideas with someone else--and while Keith may not have been an expert when it came to words, he sure as hell knew how to tell a story. His story telling was so much different than Lance's version of it was. Lance would sit down and spend hours stringing together sentences of sentiment or exclamations of wrath, he had to choose every word with care to tell it how he felt it. 

And then there was Keith. 

Keith with his dark colors and his ink. Every time he set a pencil or a pen against the blank paper, it seemed like the entire universe held its breath, even the stars knew that there was a beautiful story being woven behind the charcoal and the ink. Every stroke had to mean something, even the accidents were beautiful. Keith may not have been an expert when it came to definitions or poetic elements, but his art was its own kind of poetry. There was pain that went into those pieces, and there was happiness as well. It took a special kind of talent to bring heart-wrenching emotions to people by simply creating an image, yet that boy managed to do it every goddamn time. 

Lance stopped. He was standing in the middle of the path, the wind was blowing by, so crisp and fresh on that gray autumn day. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. There was a goddamn line and he knew that he couldn't cross it, so why did he have to feel pulled towards his new friend with every passing moment they spent together by the window in the bakery, why did the stars have to weave this thread through his soul that somehow tugged him closer to the other boy every day. That little red thread that twisted tighter around his heart every time he tried to pull away.

He had read many stories as a child that spoke of fate and of true love being left up to the stars, he had learned from those stories that sometimes love wasn't fair and that heartbreak couldn't be controlled. It was inevitable--and what was worse was that the extent of the heartbreak was not his to choose either. With every tug of that little red thread that connected him to the artist, he felt his heart being twisted painfully. He knew with bitter clarity that he would never see the heartbreak coming until it was ready to shatter him against the ground as if he had been made of glass. 

He didn't even know Keith. He knew little, unimportant facts, but if he was honest, he knew nothing real about that goddamn artist. He knew the colors that Keith seemed to love, and he knew the shape of his face and the strands of hair that fell from his loosely pulled back hair while he drew. Lance knew that Keith's soul burned like the brightest fire in a dark night and that it blazed bright red when passion lit up his eyes and his troubles seemed to pull back for a simple moment of bliss.

He still didn't know Keith's favorite color or his favorite food. Lance didn't know any of the basics, he knew nothing about his past or where he had come from.

Lance swallowed, feeling that familiar pain as his heart pulled and tightened. He wasn't supposed to be lead on so violently by that man, but how the hell was he supposed to resist? 

One foot forward after the next. Lance began to walk. Breathe in... breathe out. It shouldn't have mattered that his lungs were tightening and everything around him felt too close--like it could suffocate him at any moment. He was so fragile and there was nothing stopping the world from smothering him. The world was simply too large and there were so many people out there who could work against him or beat him out of his right to be remembered. The pressure of his dreams continually suffocated him and it was so entirely difficult every time he made the painful decision to not give up.

God, the stars must have been searching for some kind of wake up call because Lance felt like he could hardly move. If he had to choose between Keith--the artist who moved his heart with every stroke of his brush--or being remembered by this cruel, unforgiving world--which one would he choose?

He honestly had no idea.

One foot forward, that's how he would have to live to make it through. So he walked, keeping his head up until he reached the bakery and opened the door, the warm air and sweet aromas washing over him completely.

He could do better than this. He  _would_ do better than this. He would change the world, he would be remembered, and most of all he would learn to be okay with the emotions he felt towards the artist who sat at the window and created beauty to avoid destroying himself. He would do everything in his power to keep both his dreams alive as well as his connection with Keith thriving, the stars could hardly take those things away from him, why would fate dangle a decision in front of him when he could have both?

Lance took a deep breath, heading behind the counter to clock in and start working.

He would win both his dreams and Keith in the end--He had to no matter what, and he would not settle for less.

~

"But consider this-" Lance started with a laugh. Keith was leaned back in his chair, relaxed, and there was a small, underwhelmed smile on his face as Lance pitched the idea. " _Lions..._ but in  _space._ "

Keith snorted, taking a sip of his tea. Recently, Lance had noticed that Keith would wait for him to get off before taking off himself, and in that time, Lance knew that his tea would have gotten cold. It was a harmless gesture to grab Keith a refill of his preferred Chai latte as well as a coffee for himself before clocking out.

"Where the hell did you come up with that one? I thought you weren't really into Sci-Fi?" Keith pulled out a pen and doodled a small swirl on the already doodle-covered face of his sketchbook.

"Excuse you! I happen to _love_ Sci-Fi, I'm just not any good at writing it." Lance put up his hands and made finger-guns at Keith, who proceeded to roll his eyes yet again.

"I'm sure you could write Sci-Fi just fine, you'd just have to find the right inspiration for it..." Keith trailed off. "Like there was awhile that I was convinced that I couldn't draw anything that was outside of my usual style, not with any kind of meaning behind it at least, but I think I was wrong... I hope I was wrong."

Lance nodded with contemplation, a small smirk growing on his face. "I think I'll stick to my usual fiction and poetic symbolism niche,"

"Whatever floats your boat," 

"Would you ever consider reading it?"

Keith looked up with a small frown. "Reading what?"

"What I'm writing,"

"You would let me?" He sounded slightly excited. 

Lance nodded. "If you promised not to judge,"

Keith laughed, and for the first time that day, Lance found himself truly smiling along. The other boy was beautiful, and when he looked so happy, so ecstatic like that, it made him all the more attractive to Lance. He could feel heat rising in his cheeks, yet he was in no hurry to hide it, Keith wasn't even looking at him. "I'm not sure I can make any promises,"

"Oh?" Lance said, raising an eyebrow. "Rude, buddy, rude." 

Keith made a face and went back to looking down at the small doodles on the front of his tan sketchbook. "Why would you want  _me_ to read your work? Just out of all the people you know, there's no particular reason for me to read it."

"I don't really know," Lance said with a small shrug, he looked out the window at the continually darkening clouds. "You're kinda like becoming my muse, you know?"

If Lance had been looking, he might have seen the way Keith frowned, his eyebrows turning down and his eyes narrowing a bit in hurt. It wasn't that he wasn't happy to know that Lance viewed him as some sort of source of inspiration, but he couldn't help but wonder if that was all he was to Lance if that was all that he would ever be. If Lance hadn't been looking out the window, he would have been able to see everything that flashed through Keith's eyes in those small moments. 

Lance might have known how much words could mean--how absolutely powerful they were--yet sometimes Keith couldn't help but notice how reckless Lance could be with his power.

"Oh, is that so?" Keith asked, coming off a bit cooler than he had likely intended. Lance didn't catch the shift in his tone.

"Yeah, is that weird?" Lance looked back from the window to Keith. "You're just so interesting--like I could never do half of the things you do and it's just really inspiring to talk to you sometimes, you give me so many ideas."

Keith hesitated, biting his lip for a moment. "Aren't most great writers inspired by something they find beautiful? I've never heard of muses being anything less than incredible or entirely fascinating." 

For a moment, neither of them spoke, Lance only stared at Keith with confusion written across his face. 

"Whoever told you that you weren't those things, Keith?" Lance whispered, going to stand. Keith continued to stare down at the table, at his tan sketchbook, his face feeling hot.

"What are you trying to say, Lance?" Keith asked lowly. Lance simply shook his head with another small, sad smile.

"That there is so much more to you than you see in yourself, you _are_ incredible, and you have so much to offer..." Lance stopped. "I'm sorry you can't see those things in yourself because everyone else can--I can at least."

Keith looked out the window, staring at the darkening sky. It was only a matter of time before the heavens would start to cry, and Lance didn't look like he was too inclined to stay in the small shop while the weather followed it's sorrowful pattern. "Sure," Was all Keith said, standing and gathering his work supplies up. "I should go before it downpours. I'll see you later." With that, Keith started to walk away, his stomach twisting with confusion and anxiety. He wasn't who Lance thought he was--he couldn't be. There wasn't brightness within him, there was nothing left but the emptiness and the pain.

Lance watched him go, sadness stirring through him as the other boy left.

How could he not see the light that shined so brightly in his soul? Lance could see it bright and clear every time Keith simply smiled--his eyes brightened up with that light. He could see so clearly how passionate Keith was, and how beautiful his soul could be.

Maybe it wasn't enough that Lance could see those qualities, and maybe it wasn't enough that Lance had chosen Keith to be his 'muse'.

If it had been enough, Keith wouldn't have left like that.

Lance walked outside, looking down the street either way before turning to head in the opposite direction that Keith had gone. He wanted to get home before it started to rain. His apartment wasn't too far, so he walked as leisurely as he felt was safe, thoughts beginning to spin through his mind yet again.

 _Maybe it's_ me _who isn't enough._..

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter instead of my NaNo story, I'm so sorry. 
> 
> ALSO, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!! (Even though I may have saddened myself even further with this chapter and its connotations...)
> 
> I quite literally love all of you who have read, commented, bookmarked, left kudos on, and done more for this fic!! :D  
> This is so precious to me, so thank you so much~
> 
> Okie-dokie, I hope you have a wonderful day ^o^ 
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://siruniwhale.tumblr.com/%0A) if you want to chat!  
> (This has become my 'official Tumblr' lmao I've literally been giving you all the link to my trash blog before now)


	4. Falling in Love With Laughter Alone

"SO," Pidge started, not so subtly while they walked beside Keith on the river path. "What's been up with you coming to the bakery so often? Allura said she's been seeing you a lot more--which don't get me wrong, she's super happy about--but what's been up?"

Keith shrugged, throwing a rock into the flowing river. "It's a nice place to work, it's rather relaxing." 

Pidge pursed their lips with a doubtful frown and their eyebrows quirking upwards. "Is that the  _only_ reason you've been going back? Lance has seemed to become rather attached to your frequent visits."

"Yeah?" Keith asked.

"Are you two  _friends_ now? You and Mr. McMeme Lord?" 

Keith snorted. " _Mr. McMeme Lord?_ "

Pidge nodded gravely. "You haven't seen his dark side yet Keith... The memes, the puns, and the constant flirting--as  _well_ as horribly cringy nicknames for his romantic conquests. Oh Keith, run while you still can!"

"I've missed your melodramatic sarcasm, Pidge."

"Of course you have! Who could _possibly_ live without me!?" Pidge scrunched up their face again. "Speaking of which, it makes me wonder why you never called?"

Keith stopped, staring blankly out at the sky. "I've been busy,"

"Allegedly," They leaned back against the park bench, examining their nails with a frown. "I'm sure that being accepted into a high-class art school and being  _forced_ to do something that you love every day has kept you occupied... Sounds super rough buddy."

Keith didn't respond at first, instead, he found another stone and tossed it into the water. "I might drop out."

Pidge stopped completely, looking over so horribly slow. 

"You  _what?!"_ They yelled. "Keith! That is such an entirely rash and idiotic decision to even _consider!_  This is your dream, isn't it? You've always wanted to go into art, as long as I've known you, you've always been drawn towards the complexity of the emotion and the beauty of aesthetic! What changed?"

Keith simply shrugged. "I haven't been able to find the same joy in it lately..."

"So you would give up?"  

"I'm not giving up... I just don't know how much longer I want to stay in this school when it's not doing anything for me."

Pidge merely shook their head in exasperation. "I can't believe you."

"What?"

"You are _not_ dropping out of another school."

"You know the first one didn't suit me!"

"But this one _does_ suit you! You're not dropping out!" 

"You act like it's somehow your decision?" Keith pulled away. "I could find work somewhere else and work on my art in the free time--"

"What would Shiro say? He would be so disappointed..."

"Don't remind me." Keith snapped. "Plus, I said I was _considering_ dropping out because it's not making me happy in any way that matters. Isn't more important that I find something to do with my pointless life that at least makes me glad to be alive?" 

"Just... Just at least finish this semester." Pidge said weakly. 

"Fine," Keith replied tightly. "I'll consider it, can we talk about something else?"

Pidge leaned into the park bench silently, checking their phone and typing a quick message out before looking back at Keith. "Has he mentioned your hair yet?"

"What?" Keith asked with a frown. 

"Lance," Pidge clarified. "Has he mentioned your mullet yet, because he's sure as hell mentioned it to me."

Keith felt heat creeping into his cheeks. "What's wrong with my hair?"

"Well for one: it's not exactly from this decade, I might even argue that it shouldn't even be from this _century_ , but no can do, there are some great mullets from the past century. Secondly, I never said that _he_  was saying  _bad_ things about your hair. He mentions you a lot, and he really seems to have a thing for your hair." Pidge had a devilish grin on their face. "Now, why would he feel so inclined to mention you so often? Hmm?"

"Oh... Well..." Keith shrugged, staring at the water. "I don't know. He said I was kinda his muse--or something like that."

Pidge's shoulders drooped in disappointment. "Well that's a good thing, isn't it?"

"I'm sure it is."

"Yet, you don't sound convinced."

Another shrug. "How would you feel?"

"That it was about _da_ _mn time_ he started to see me as a fucking inspiration, obviously." Pidge laughed. Keith managed a small smile. "Though, I might not feel that way if I had been expecting something  _more_ from him," They paused. "Maybe you're disappointed that he doesn't want you to be more than an inspiration to him?"

"I don't know, I barely know him Pidge." Keith said slowly. 

"Then get to know him. Maybe something that you're not expecting will happen." They smiled cheekily. "If the stars have foreseen it then you'll feel it,"

"You think?"

"For sure," Pidge went to stand. "Now, I'm freezing my ass off, you up for some bakery action?"

Keith nodded slowly, standing and brushing himself off. He felt excitement stirring inside of him at the prospect of seeing Lance again, but also a certain amount of fear. He wondered if it would be the same after whatever had happened two days before. He shrugged off the feelings. "Sure, let's go."

~

Lance had tried not to think about Keith for the past two days, and for some reason, the more he tried not to think about the other boy, the more he would find things that reminded him of the other boy. It had only been two days since Keith had been to the bakery, no reason to panic, and no reason to think the worst of their previous conversation. 

He had poured almost all of his time over the past two days into his writing, and he was surprised with how well it had been coming along.

Lance would still let Keith read it if he asked, and that was a luxury that not many were allowed access to. Though he couldn't exactly expect Keith to understand everything that he meant by writing this, but it might at least take the edge off after their previous conversation. He didn't know how Keith had felt about his words, but it seemed like he was somehow... disappointed. 

He shook his head, restocking the bakery case. Lance couldn't know for sure how Keith felt, it was likely that the other boy merely hadn't known how to respond and therefore acted out. Perhaps it hadn't meant nearly as much as Lance was making it out to be. 

Keith was simply a friend, and allegedly, Lance's muse. 

The small bell on the door rung as new customers entered the bakery. Lance finished putting the fresh pastries into the case before heading over to the counter. 

"Hello~" Lance started, only to stop as he found Pidge standing at the counter with an expectant, devilish smile. 

"Hey there, friendo!" Pidge said. "Where's Hunk?"

"Taking the day off to study for a physics thing." Lance said with a roll of his eyes, "I thought you would have known that?"

"Haven't seen him today, I've been hanging out with my best bud, Keith," 

Lance looked up, past Pidge, finding Keith at one of the tables, looking over with his brows raised high. He lifted his hand as a greeting and Lance waved back with a smile. 

"Ew, that's a ridiculously sweet smile you have on your face, Lance," Pidge commented, sticking their tongue out. "We'll have our usuals,"

"Right, I'm on it," Lance said. "It's on me today, I'm almost off my shift." He said as Pidge went to pay. They frowned, taking their card back and shrugging. 

"Whatever floats your boat," They shrugged, turning to walk back to the table and sit down across from Keith, starting their conversation back up with extreme ease. Lance watched them while he made their drinks. He tried to make them to utter perfection, only to try and impress Pidge while Keith was around. He might as well be the best barista he could if he wanted to earn Pidge's favor for the day.

Lance finished making the drinks and brought them over to the table with a pleased smile. Pidge glanced up at him and narrowed their eyes. 

"You look awfully pleased with yourself," Pidge said. "Did you poison my coffee?"

Lance rolled his eyes. "You have so little faith in me,"

"I have reasons for that, don't act so wounded."

"Wow, rude!"

Pidge smiled and waved their hand at him. "Run along, I'm trying to have a conversation."

Lance frowned. "This feels oddly familiar, do you not want me talking to your best bud too, Pidgester?"

Keith snorted into his chai tea latte. "Pidgester?"

Lance grinned while Pidge growled. "Shut up."

"Nicknames are my specialty!" He announced far too proudly. 

"No, they're not," Pidge said flatly.

"That's what you think, Pidge-Da-Peanut,"

Pidge groaned. "What the _actual fuck_ , Lance?"

Lance merely grinned, winking at Keith before deciding to go back to the counter before Pidge blew up at him. Keith smiled at Lance after the wink, and as he walked away, all Lance heard was Pidge mutter:  _"Traitor,"_

It was an effort not to break down in a fit of giggles until he was safely behind the counter where Pidge could only look at him like they were on the verge of murder.

Lance had noticed it before, but as he watched Keith laugh from across the bakery, he noticed how  _nice_ Keith's smile was, it had to be illegal to have such an alluring and pure smile. Lance retreated further into the backroom, his face heating completely as he set a hand over his rapidly pulsing heart. Was it possible to fall in love with laughter alone? Because if it was, Lance was head over heels for that boys laugh, and that wasn't the only part of him that Lance was growing to love.

Curse the stars, he was a mess!

Yet, Lance couldn't find it within himself to care about the mess when it somehow felt so  _right_.

If the stars foretold it, then he would feel it...

And in that moment, he swore that he felt everything he had ever been missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo compared to the other chapters, there is sO MuCH DIALoGUE OmFG (it's pretty much all dialogue, ughhh)  
> Also, this chapter is shorter than the others, it was a bit rushed due to lack of time, many apologies.
> 
> I'm glad these poor idiots are finally talking more, dear lord.
> 
> Also also: ThE WinK AnD NiCKNamEs (i get very excited, apologies lol)
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed~
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://siruniwhale.tumblr.com/%0A) if you want to chat! ^o^


	5. Burning Through the Rain

Pidge watched Keith across the small table curiously. They had never seen Keith so interested in someone else, not even when they were in high school together. Keith hadn’t been much of one to form attachments throughout his life, and Pidge would know, seeing that they had spent their entire youth pulling pranks, making jokes about the inevitability of death, and occasionally spreading memes throughout the school as a coping method.

They watched as Keith laughed and smiled so warmly at Lance before he made his way back behind the counter, blush rising in his cheeks.

Keith watched him go, his eyes lingering on the other boy for much longer than he would a mere friend. Pidge frowned, taking a deep sip of their heavily caffeinated drink, the paper cup had their name written on it in Lance’s scrawled handwriting, and they swore that it said _‘pidgeon’_ which managed to get even further under their skin.

“He’s so annoying, dear stars,” Pidge huffed, taking another sip, partially hoping that the drink would burn a hole in their tongue so they could go to the hospital and avoid their upcoming engineering exam.

Keith shrugged, turning back to Pidge and the conversation they had been having before. “Yeah, sure,” He said, a small smile still lingering on his face. Pidge frowned in disgust.

“Oh my lord,” They said in exasperation. “You _like_ him, don’t you? Like, _like, like_ him”

Keith’s eyes went wide and he nearly choked on the chai tea latte that Lance had brought him only minutes before. “I--Wait, what? What are you talking about?” It didn’t help that his entire face went an impressive shade of red as Pidge said it. They couldn’t help but snort.

“You like Lancelot, the biggest fucking meme I have _ever_ met, dear stars, you like him,” Pidge repeated, becoming even more dramatic and distraught with every word. Keith was shaking his head in horror. “I knew you were disappointed in his lack of charm, but I didn’t know it was because you’re crushing on him. Ha! You’re never going to live this down Kogane--”

“No, no, no,” Keith said flatly. “You’ve got it all wrong, I do not like him, not like that, he’s just nice, and an interesting friend--”

“Sooo, _this_ is why you were so glum when he said you were his muse, you _do_ expect more. Oh stars, I knew I was right--”

“Shut up, Pidge!” Keith hissed. “What if he hears you?”

“Then he’ll know that Keith Kogane has a big crush on him!” They cackled a bit evilly. Keith shook his head, burying his face against his hands to hide the heat in his cheeks. “You two are such idiots, you know that?”

Keith looked up, rolling his eyes. “No Pidge, I didn’t know that, what makes _so_ inclined to point that out?”

Pidge shrugged watching as Lance helped out another customer that had entered as they spoke. There was a light pink still in his cheeks, and he kept glancing distractedly over at them as he made another drink and pulled the sweets out of the bakery case. It wasn’t hard to guess that Lance saw endless possibility and stars everytime he looked at Keith, and it wasn’t hard to see that Keith looked at the other boy with the same soft affection in his eyes. It was so damn obvious to Pidge, so why couldn’t those two idiots see it in each other?

“Are you afraid that Lance might not feel the same?” Pidge asked softly, propping their chin on their folded hands and staring Keith down, questions dancing in their eyes.

Keith looked over at Lance for a quick moment before shaking his head. “I’m afraid that what I’m feeling is temporary.” He said it as if it was that simple. Pidge frowned as Keith went on to look out the window at the gray sky and take a slow sip of his tea as the autumn leaves swirled in the wind. It was so absolutely idiotic, truly, Pidge had known Keith for most of their life, and they had never seen him look at someone else so fondly or smile so genuinely at a joke he would have otherwise found stupid and unnecessary,

Stars help those two, they were completely unaware of the other's feelings towards each other. Anyone with half a brain could look at the two of them and know that there was more than friendship going on between them. Pidge clenched their fists in frustration.

“I’m going to fucking light myself on fire,” Pidge muttered into their drink. Keith didn’t even bother to look over at the comment, he was too distracted with taking a sip of his drink and feeling his heart pound as he felt his eyes sliding back to the counter.

His focus had slipped entirely back to Lance, who was laughing at something a pretty girl had said as she ordered. The way Lance smiled, the way he laughed, all of it made Keith’s heart stutter and beat a bit faster. He had never really gotten butterflies dancing in his stomach before Lance.

He finished making the customer’s drink and must have felt someone’s eyes on him because he looked up for a moment, meeting Keith’s eyes with a smirk.

Keith looked away, feeling his face heat up again. He felt like there was molten fire running through his veins with every slight smirk directed towards him, and even when he knew that fire would consume him, he was inclined to burn.

“...insufferable…” Was all Pidge muttered.

~

Keith and Pidge ended up staying until the bakery closed at 6:30, waiting for Lance to finish cleaning up and clock out before heading out to walk along the path. Since Pidge had stayed so long, they talked the boys into walking them back to their campus dorm, which was fine with Keith if it meant he would be able to spend a little bit more time with Lance.

It was really awful to feel so strongly and to wonder whether or not it was requited. If he were being honest with himself, he wouldn’t know what to do at all if his feelings _were_ requited. He had spent his life alone, he had friends, but they had always been kept at an arm’s-length. He had never let anyone get too close, it was too risky, and he had already been let down by people so many times that risking it again for _anyone_ was too much to handle.

If Lance, if that bright light inside of him shone for Keith, then he would have no choice but to be engulfed in the light that Lance brought around with him. He was like a star, burning so bright and furiously that all Keith could do was stare.

Someone once told him that a star burned it’s brightest before it burned out, but he couldn’t find how that could possibly apply when Lance was in front of him, nowhere near his end, and burning with the strength of a million suns.

He sometimes wondered if it would be better to simply shade his eyes and look away, he wondered if he should distance himself before it was too late.

Yet, like a moth drawn to a flame, all Keith could do was watch as he was pulled carefully closer, his hands hovering over the flame as he wondered how badly it would burn when they finally collide.

As they walked, it was difficult not to mull over the realization that Keith was falling hard, and he had nothing to reach for, nothing to grasp onto that would keep him from hitting the ground and shattering like glass. His head kept screaming that he was chasing after heartbreak with arms wide, but his heart kept pulling him forward regardless--his heart had gone through far worse, and if he was running towards heartbreak then it would have to hurt pretty damn bad to break him any more than he already was.

“Keith?” Pidge asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Sorry, what?” He asked.

“I asked if there are any upcoming art shows at your school,” They said a bit blankly, nodding towards Lance who was looking curious and excited about that idea.

“Oh, I wouldn’t know, I don’t really participate in stuff like that--”

“Why not?” Lance asked this time.

Keith shrugged, looking up at the gradually darkening clouds above them. “It’s just not my thing I guess.”

Lance stuck out his bottom lip in a pout, and dear stars, it was such an innocent and childish look on him that Keith couldn’t help but feel a bit bad, like he had just ruined something for a little kid. “You’re not that interested in community, are you?”

“I guess not.”

Pidge snorted. “He’s never been too interested in community, or other people in general.”

Lance frowned. “Aren’t you lonely?”

It took a moment for Keith to shrug in response. Of course he was lonely, but he had become okay with the loneliness, he had resigned himself to it by now.

It was easier to be alone.

As pathetic and cliche as it sounded, it was so much easier to be alone when there was a storm brewing under his skin with no tell to when it might lash out and hurt someone who had gotten too close.

It was easier to be alone, and though he enjoyed the solitude, Keith didn’t fancy being lonely.

He knew that it would be better for everyone else in the long-run if he kept to himself. He felt that if others got too involved with him and his insecurities it would end up being bothersome to them and, like everyone else, they would leave.

That was what he meant when he told Pidge that he was scared that what he was feeling was temporary, both for himself and Lance, because he didn’t want to get close to someone who would leave when it become too troublesome to be with him.

“I tend to enjoy solitude, it helps me think,” Keith replied a bit weakly. It was true to an extent, but he wasn’t about to go into more detail. Pidge pursed their lips and looked ahead, they had reached the campus and were walking to the dorm buildings in silence.

When they finally reached the building, Keith and Lance bid Pidge goodbye, watching them open the door with their idea before looking back with a devilish smirk and mouthing ‘ _get some’_ at Keith before disappearing into the building.

Keith felt his face warming again and tried to shrug it off as best as he could, Lance hadn’t noticed the hue of pink in his cheeks, so he pretended it wasn’t there.

Then again, Keith hadn’t noticed the steady blush that was growing on Lance’s face either.

The two boys began to walk again in comfortable silence. The sky above had grown dangerously dark over the past half an hour and Keith was beginning to feel slightly anxious about the prospect of a storm.   
They had probably only made it about twenty feet from the dorms when Keith felt the first drop of rain hit his face. He flinched, wiping it away with a frown. Another few drops came down, hitting him and soaking into his red flannel mercilessly.

Lance noticed the drops as well and swore viciously before making steady eye contact with Keith as the heavens opened and let their tears fall to earth in a rapid succession.

As the rain down-poured on them, the two boys began to run, not quite knowing where they were going to go. Keith heard Lance laugh loud and manically as he spun, letting the rain hit his face and soak through his clothes. Keith paused his running, stopping alongside Lance as the other boy savored the water hitting him.

Keith had never been very fond of the rain, he enjoyed looking at it through a window or from afar, but he had never particularly liked being in it. If it was possible, the rain kept coming faster, and it was only minutes before they were both completely soaked through.

“We should go!” Keith called to Lance. The other boy nodded, the smile on his face was so real and happy that Keith stopped again just to stare at him.

“You're right..." He laughed. "I love the rain!” His smile was still bright. There was a moment of hesitation between them before Lance grabbed Keith’s hand and pulled him along through the pouring rain.

Despite the chill of the rain, Keith felt fire licking through his veins as he ran behind Lance through darkness, hand in hand.

He was so smitten, in so deep, there was no coming back from how hard he had fallen, and Keith knew once he hit the ground it would take more than he had within himself to get back up again.

For once, he didn’t even care.

Let the stars break him into a million pieces so that he might never recover, he would take it any day if it meant he could feel like this for at least another few hours.

He would trade the rest of his life to feel this way just for now.

Dear stars, he was in so, _so_ deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever just hate yourself because you're writing three separate fics at once as well as a novel you're trying to finish? BEcaUsE tHAt'S mE RigHT nOw (༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ)  
> Send help oml.
> 
> Anywayyy, I hope you enjoyed this chapter that I wrote...  
> my blood, sweat, and tears went into this,,,,,
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://siruniwhale.tumblr.com/%0A) if you want to chat~


	6. Late Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Texts:  
> Keith is Italics  
> Pidge is Bold and Italics

By the time the boys found shelter in Lance's apartment building, they were both soaked through and chilled to the bone. Keith had tried to object when Lance pulled him into the building for shelter, but his protest died on his lips as lightning flared, and a moment later, thunder shook the earth like a hollowed cry. His apartment wasn't too far from Lance's, less than a mile, but the prospect of running through the storm alone had very little appeal.

"You are not going through that," Lance said when Keith mentioned his apartment was pretty close by. Keith stared out through the dark rain before Lance rolled his eyes and buzzed into the apartment building, gesturing for Keith to follow him. After a moment of hesitation, Keith followed, it wasn't that big of a deal, right? He was just going to Lance's apartment to dry off and wait for the storm to pass, it would be fine.

Correction: It would be fine if Keith could keep his cool. He absolutely did not have a raging crush on the boy who was bringing him up to his apartment.

The Stars must have had some sense of humor because it was almost comical how nervous it made Keith being so close to Lance.

It also hadn't failed to reach his attention that Lance hadn't let go of his hand until they had made their way into the apartment building.

Curse the Deities, he was sure that his entire face was red and there was nothing he could do about it. Keith thought of himself as many things, but cool-headed and collected were definitely not aspects of himself that he took pride in. Especially not when he had been holding hands with the boy he liked. He viewed himself as impulsive and hotheaded, how the hell was he supposed to keep his cool now?

Keith took a deep, calming breath and tried to avoid looking at Lance for too long, his heart was pounding at an alarming rate, Lance shouldn't have had control over his heart like that--it was so _unfair._ He followed Lance up the few flights of stairs that would lead to Lance's apartment, all the while enduring as Lance complained about the building not having an elevator of any kind. Keith kept up easily, not too bothered by the flights of stairs, instead, he tried to focus on his breathing as he walked. It was completely normal for friends to go to each other's apartments after running through the rain...

Except, they weren't friends, not in the normal way at least. They were something more to each other, inspiration, and sometimes Keith didn't know where the lines were supposed to be drawn when it came to the intrigued intention that was between them. It wasn't fair that it sent his emotions so askew, he liked the way that Lance looked at him and listened when he spoke and he liked it when Lance sat down across from him and started telling bad jokes.

Hell, he loved being with the other boy, and if he had ever thought that love was a concept that was beyond his understanding, then he would take back everything he ever thought falsely about the feeling, because every time he saw Lance's eyes light up when he talked about his writing and got excited by hidden meanings and symbolism, Keith felt his heart swell so completely that he lost his breath. 

Even if he would never admit it, Pidge had been spot on, and Keith was falling further and further every day. 

Stars above, he had never even liked this town before now. It had seemed so dead and bland, with people walking around doing reckless things and finding no meaning in who they were supposed to be. He had never seen anything new grow within that college-town, it was always the same sob-story stuck on repeat as he watched people try to balance who they were and who they were trying to be. It was always the same, nothing new ever coming out of it. 

So why did he feel like he was walking around now with flowers sprouting through his ribcage? How was it that within the dull repeat he had found something new? 

That's why he couldn't look away from Lance like he did for everyone else, because Lance represented something new, he represented the exact moment that Keith had begun to feel the impact of the colors around him on those crisp autumn days by the river, and he represented the prospect of growing, even when nothing new ever came out of that town. Lance represented the entire world around him, and the prospect of what he could become.  

"Hey, earth to space cadet!" Lance cooed jokingly, waving a hand in front of Keith's face. Keith blinked looking up to find that Lance had stopped and was only inches away from him. They were both still drenched from the rain and it was rather difficult not to notice the way that Lance's shirt clung to his body. It wasn't the first time that night that Keith had found himself cursing the stars for their cruel sense of humor.

"Sorry," Keith said, averting his eyes, trying to look interested in his surroundings. Lance smiled, unlocking the door and gesturing for Keith to follow him in. Lance's apartment was exactly how he would have imagined it. It was small, but still relatively spacious, with a small kitchen, a living room, and a door that led to his bedroom. It was slightly cluttered with books tossed across the small coffee table and blankets scattered across the couch. Still, it wasn't half-bad for a twenty-year-old male who lived alone. 

"Let me find you something dry to wear," Lance started, taking off his shoes and crossing to the door on the opposite side of the small space, presumably his room. 

"Lance--It's fine you don't have to--"

"Of course I do, dear stars Keith, do you really think I'm just going to leave you dripping on my doorstep until this storm passes? I think not, what kind of friend would I be if I did that?" With that, Lance disappeared into his room, Keith waiting quietly in the small entryway.

There it was again, that word  _friend_ that Keith so desperately wanted to mean more. He sighed, pulling his phone out of his damp jeans to make sure it wasn't damaged. There was a text from Pidge.

 

**_(6:49 P.M)_   _Saw you two idiots running through the rain._**

**_(6:49 P.M) Correct me if I'm wrong, but,,,,,,_ **

**_(6:50 P.M) I'm PRETTY sure you 2 were holding hands_ **

**_(6:51 P.M) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_ **

 

Keith stared down at his phone, face heating up yet again. 

 

_(7:10 P.M) Your horrible eyesight has betrayed you, Pidgeon_

_(7:10 P.M) alSO don't fuckin send me that face_

_(7:11 P.M) And you say LANCE is a meme,,,_

 

**_(7:12 P.M) [IMAGE FILE SENT]_ **

**_(7:12 P.M) Tell me that my horrible eyesight has betrayed me now_ **

**_(7:13 P.M) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_ **

  

Keith stared down at the image that Pidge had sent with a frown, how they had managed to capture it was beyond him, but sure enough, it was a far away, dark, and slightly blurry picture of Lance pulling Keith through the rain by his hand. With a deep sigh, he pocketed his phone, electing to ignore Pidge's prying for the moment. He had more to focus on than his ridiculous friend, who would surely tell their brother about this, which meant it would reach Shiro's ears in record time if Keith didn't play this game carefully, si even if he knew it was petty, ignoring Pidge was the best option at the moment.

Especially if he ended up needing to stay the night because of the storm.

He prayed to the stars that it wouldn't come down to that, he didn't know how much he could take before he spontaneously combusted. 

Lance returned holding a neatly folded pile of clothing, a red baseball tee and a pair of yoga pants by the looks of it, Keith tried to smile but it probably looked as fake and weak as he felt. "Hey, these should fit, I'm slightly taller than you anyway so hopefully it won't be too big," Lance said with a cheeky little wink.

_Shit_. Was all Keith could think as he accepted the clothes and headed to the small bathroom on Lance's instruction to get changed. 

~

Lance watched Keith go with a small smile pulling at his lips.

He turned, heading to the kitchen to start pulling out whatever he could find to make a suitable dinner for the two of them.

It would hardly be anything fancy, but it would have to do.

~

Keith was fucked.

He was so completely and utterly fucked.

~

Lance was in the small kitchen when Keith finally came out of the bathroom, a light rose-pink rising in his pale cheeks. He was holding his damp clothes in a bundle while looking a bit lost at what to do next. It took one glance at the other boy for his breath to be completely knocked out of him. He knew that red was a great color on Keith, but the shirt Lance had lent him had bright cherry red sleeves that did wonders for Keith's complexion and even his eyes. It made his gray eyes look slightly more blue against the contrast.

"You can sit down if you want," Lance called into the living room. Keith nodded slowly, just looking around and taking everything in. Lance stopped what he was doing to walk out and offer to take Keith's damp clothing, he had already planned on throwing their clothes in the dryer anyway, which meant he would have to head down to the basement eventually to use the dryer, so for right then he simply dumped their clothes together in a laundry basket and went back to pulling out ingredients.

A moment later, Keith joined him, leaning a bit uncomfortably against the entrance to the kitchen. "What are you doing? Do you need help?"

Lance shrugged. "Do you care if I just make fried rice or something? I haven't gotten groceries lately..."

"You don't have to make dinner--"

"Well we're not going hungry, and I'm not going to order in and make someone come through that storm, so I'll make dinner--" Lance started.

"Lance--"

"Keith!" Lance huffed in exasperationn. "Just let me be nice and make you dinner!"

Keith pulled back with a small frown, his bottom lip jutting out a bit.  _Dear stars,_ Lance thought.  _He's pouting._

"Fine, but how can I help?" Keith asked, crossing his arms in determination. Lance rolled his eyes, taking a step forward and lightly setting his hands on Keith's shoulders. He noticed the blush that grew in the other boy's cheeks as he did that, and something within Lance hummed to life. He didn't know how to show Keith what he felt for him, but he did know that what he felt was real and that if the other boy reacted so warmly to his touch, then there was hope for something to happen.

"You can  _relax,_ I'm used to cooking, I had a big family." Lance smiled warmly again. He wanted to lean forward and take this chance while they were alone to make a move that would soldify what they felt. He thought about for a long moment before pulling away. It wasn't the right time, not yet. "Just talk to me, I can do the rest."

"Stars, you're so difficult," Keith groaned lightly, pink still dusting his cheeks. 

"Oh darling," Lance beamed. "You have  _no_ idea,"

~

Somehow they ended up eating and talking on the couch for hours until darkness had spread out around them, the only source of light was Lance's laptop where they had pulled up a movie on Netflix after their voices had begun to tire after the long hours of talking. They managed to talk about everything and nothing at the same time. They would talk about the rotations of the world and wonder if there was more out there beyond them, but would never go into detail about how Keith had ended up alone and without a family. They talked about solar systems and the meaning of love, but would never delve too deep into the pain they felt in their hearts when they regarded their past and the heartbreak life had brought.

Such heavy topics were not for an evening spent on the couch, laughter passing between them, such topics waited to approach in the night when their tongues had become looser and the pain was pressing down on their lungs, heavy enough to suffocate even the strongest fighter.

It was almost midnight by the time Keith felt himself leaning against the couch, closer to Lance than he would have usually dared to sit so they could both see the laptop screen and share an even amount of the blanket they had pulled from the floor earlier in the evening.

The movie was forgotten as Keith leaned against Lance for support, his eyelids heavy and his body tired.

"You can sleep," Lance whispered eventually, an arm set loosely around Keith's shoulders. Normally, he would have pulled away from the touch, but it was too late in the night to find it anything but comforting. 

"Can I ask you a question?" Keith asked instead. Lance nodded, becoming a bit tenser at that but not refusing.

"Sure,"

"Okay..." Keith paused for a moment. "What do you even see in me?"

"What do you mean?"

"As a friend, as your 'muse' or whatever that means, and as whatever the hell we have going on, what do you see in me? You're incredibly kind to me for no reason, I haven't ever done anything for you and--"

Keith was silenced by the feeling of Lance pulling away, his arm disappearing from around Keith's shoulders so he could turn a bit to face the other boy. The movie was paused and forgotten as Lance set his laptop on the nearby coffee table and turned to Keith. 

"I don't understand why you're asking me this, there's so much to see in you Keith, I told you before--you're interesting, you have a ton of talent, and you're literally incredible, you might not think it but I think you're kind and you have a smile that lights up the world, please Keith, I have never met someone like you and I know that you don't see it in yourself but sometimes there are days when I'm scared you'll move on because I am not enough to compare--"

Keith shook his head. "Lance, stop, you've said these things before--"

"Is it not enough? Am I not enough, Keith?" Lance responded quickly, sounding bitter and hurt. Keith looked over, flinching a bit at the other boy's tone.

"Forget I asked," Keith whispered.

"No, Keith, we need to talk--"

"Talk about what? That you see traits that I literally cannot see in myself and have  _never_ seen?! Lance, I'm nothing like what you see me as, and I don't know if you're simply optimistic or delusional when you say those things. You can't go around being perfect and being the happiest and most beautiful person I've ever met and then look at me and tell me that I'm the same because I know that it must be a lie," Keith took a deep breath, trying not to let his voice betray everything he felt for the other boy, but dear stars, fate seemed to be pulling the string again and he knew that she was a fickle bitch when it came to love. "Lance, you're beautiful, kind, and you make the world better, but please don't try to convince me that I fall anywhere near the same level as you, because I have never lived up to my potential and to what I could be, and I have never tried to make someone else feel like the stars were put in the heavens for them--and that's the difference between us, so please, stop trying to tell me that I can compare when I  _can't_."

Lance was silent for a long moment before seeming to come to a decision. "If you can't see anything good about yourself then I guess I'm just going to have to try harder to make you see that part of yourself, Keith," He sighed, blinking with tired eyes. Keith frowned shaking his head.

"Good luck with that,"

"You're a stubborn asshole sometimes,"

"That much I did know," Keith laughed weakly. Lance looked away in silence for a long moment. If it hadn't been so dark Keith may have noticed the dark red that was blooming in Lance's cheeks, because a moment later Lance slipped his arm back around Keith's shoulder and pulled him into a tight hug.

Something about being in Lance's arms just felt so  _right,_ and part of him wished he could stay there forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOOOOOOOOOO,,, LeT mE kNoW WaTcHA ThOuGHT??  
> Man, I love writing mutual pining.  
> It's so stressful XD
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://siruniwhale.tumblr.com/%0A) if you want to chat~  
> I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HEARING FROM YOU GUYS IT MAKES MY WHOLE DAY  
> You're all literally so supportive and nice, thank you so much!! ＼（Ｔ∇Ｔ）／


	7. Bright as a Star

Lance expected Keith to pull away from him after the first few seconds. When he thought about it, there were a lot of things that Lance expected Keith to do, and staying in his arms was not one of them. He expected subtle pouting, and narrowed eyes, not a shaky sigh as Keith wrapped his arms around Lance and just tried to  _breathe_. Lance expected moments of silence, finding comfort in the rain, and distant gray eyes that reflected the sky with rattling clarity. He expected the smell of markers and the scratch of lead against paper. Lance expected small laughs and hidden smiles.

He did not expect Keith to lean into him. Out of everything he thought he could predict, he would have never foreseen them falling asleep slowly against each other after words of pain and sorrow had been spilled across the dark hours of the morning, staining those hours with bitterness. Yet, perhaps because of the surreal honesty that the late hours brought, they could become closer, they were now, in each other's arms, slowly sinking into sleep as Lance leaned into the couch and let Keith continue to listen to the steady beat of his heart.

Lance hoped that Keith couldn't tell how his heart raced in that moment when he felt those fingers tighten on around him, clenching the back of his shirt as if it was an anchor. His heart fluttered and butterflies danced in his stomach. Stars, he knew that he wasn't straight before, but when he was so near Keith, he knew that there was something that was meant to be between them, even if he still had yet to figure out what. He knew he saw Keith as an inspiration, and he definitely wouldn't  _mind_ his relationship with the other boy venturing beyond platonic, but there was still many things he didn't know about Keith.

In the dark living room, Lance watched the screen of Keith's phone light up with a text. He was about to point it out when he noticed that the other boy's breathing had become relatively even and that his grip on Lance had relaxed. 

_Shit,_ Lance thought.  _He's asleep._

_He's asleep in_ my  _arms._

Lance could feel his face heating up uncontrollably as his heart leaped into his throat, what would he even say to Keith in the morning? Stars, he should have let this be, he should have let the other boy go home.

He shouldn't get so close to someone who would only cause another impending heartbreak.

Lance hardly wanted to repeat the events of his freshman year at college, events that had left his heart in pieces on the ground, pieces he could never quite recover.

Besides, who would want a broken heart anyway? If he couldn't offer his whole, perfect heart, then what was the point?

Lance was hardly a stickler for perfection unless it came to his writing, which he knew would never be quite perfect, so many time in his life he had given up on the prospect of perfection, he had learned to let go. Yet, for some reason, he found it incredibly difficult to let go of his heart. He tried so hard to show the side of himself that he wanted to be, the genuine laughs, the goofy nature, it was all part of who he was, but it also was a mask to hide the hurt underneath it all. 

He had learned to live under a mask of jokes and witty replies to hide the brokenness that ripped through his soul, and if he couldn't take that mask down for someone he loved, then what chance did he have? 

Stars, he didn't want to cry, not when the boy of his dreams was sleeping ever-so-soundly in his arms. The night should have been perfect, he brought home the guy he admired and was falling in love with, even if it was only to protect him from the rain. They had eaten dinner together and shared clothing. Hell, even sitting so close to watch a movie on his laptop should have been perfect. It shouldn't have made him so sad to watch Keith gradually growing to trust Lance. Keith had fallen apart in his arms, admitting that he didn't see beautiful works of art within himself as Lance did, yet Lance couldn't even find the courage to open up about his own insecurities, the pain he felt because of a breakup that should have meant nothing by now after two years.

Though it wasn't just his break up with Nyma two years ago that had left him feeling so broken, sure, she had never really loved him and had made him question his self-worth with the actions she took, but that hadn't been the only thing holding him back. He lacked confidence in his own skill as a writer, he feared that everything he wrote would amount to nothing, he had such a great desire to be remembered only because he feared that he would fade away and leave nothing behind. 

He felt tears begin to blur his vision.

_No, no, not now, please!_ He begged himself. He felt so alone despite having someone he cared about right there, sleeping soundly while clutching him tightly.

He tried to mask his insecurities with the humor, the flirting, and ultimately sometimes being a complete ass because to embrace the insecurities would be to embrace a tremendous amount of pain and shame. Lance just didn't know if he was strong enough to hold himself together, and he hated himself for it.

So he poured it all out into his writing, his insecurities, his feelings for Keith, his pain, and ultimately every imperfect thing he felt. He hoped if he got it out, the pain would slowly fade away, and it did to an extent, it became bearable. 

A solitary tear slipped down his face.

The night should have been perfect, but like every imperfect thing he felt, it ended with tears running down his face and a growing sense of emptiness within him.

~

Keith woke with a start, an absence of warmth hitting him like a truck. He groaned audibly, curling in on himself to conserve warmth. His mind was muddled by sleep, buut it was reaching for something, trying to remember where he was and why he smelled like cologne that was not his own and something sweet...

He snapped awake. He remembered the rain, the shirt he and sweatpants were not his own, and he had fallen asleep on Lance's couch. 

He had fallen asleep in Lance's arms, after arguing with him in the middle of the night.

Dear stars, he was such a wreck. Keith curled into the couch further, his face heating up in embarrassment, he should have just gone home, he should have fought Lance about it more and--

"Hey Mullet-Head, you awake?" He heard Lance call over from the kitchen. For a moment he considered not responding at all, but instead, he groaned loudly and rolled over, staring at the ceiling.

"No..." He answered, his voice low and a bit strained. Lance chuckled softly.

"Do like omelets?" 

Keith pushed himself up onto his elbow, so he could see into the small Kitchen. "Lance, you don't have to--" 

"Shut up McMullet, it's almost noon, you're going to want to eat something, so deal with it." 

Keith sighed in frustration, flopping back down onto the couch and burying his head into the pillow Lance had pulled out the night before.

It smelled like him, hell, everything around Keith smelled like Lance, and it was doing absolutely nothing to help the pounding in his head and the disoriented nervousness that was in his stomach. Instead of worrying too much, he leaned over to the small coffee table and grabbed his phone. He had a variety of messages from Pidge and one text from Shiro that was asking him when he wanted to meet up and talk.

Keith rolled his eyes, swiping open his phone to view whatever horrors Pidge had sent him. 

 

**_(7:47 P.M) Ignoring me huh? rude_ **

**_(8:04 P.M) Or maybe ur too busy with our #1 memelord to notice ur bestie??_ **

**_(8:04 P.M) I'm hurt_ **

**_(8:05 P.M) I expect answers, and details ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_ **

**_(10:30 P.M) maybe super-secret blackmail material if ur up 4 it_ **

**_(10:31 P.M) just thought of that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_ **

****

Keith sighed again, going to type out a quick message.

 

_(11:45 A.M) I have no idea what you could be referring to._

 

**_(11:46 A.M) Playing innocent? funny._ **

 

_(11:46 A.M) why did you respond so fast?? oml._

 

**_(11:47 A.M) still waiting 4 details ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_ **

**_(11:57 A.M) how was ur night with the living meme?_ **

 

_(11:58 A.M) No comment._

 

**_(12:00 P.M) killjoy_ **

 

"Watcha doing?" Lance asked, startling Keith as he smirked at his phone. He moved to hide the conversation quickly as Lance plopped down next to him on the couch. Keith hissed, pulling his legs back just in time to avoid Lance landing on them. 

"Just texting Pidge back," Keith muttered, swinging his legs off the couch so he could sit up properly.

Lance groaned. "What does that little gremlin want now?"

"Uhm..." Keith started. "They were just being the usual Pidge, sending memes and being a savage."

"Nice." Lance laughed. He stood up again and moved to the stove to check his cooking before flashing Keith a bright smile. It staggered Keith enough that he stood quickly, muttering something about using the bathroom.

When he got into the bathroom he ran cold water under and splashed his face with it.  _Get a hold of yourself._ He thought. He took a deep breath before pushing himself out of the bathroom. Instead of heading straight back to the living room, he noticed a small office area that was connected to what he assumed to be Lance's bedroom, and there was a laptop sitting open on the small desk, words across the screen.

Keith took a tentative step forwards, later he would curse curiosity and the pull he had felt to read what was there, he would hate himself for intruding, but in that moment, Keith simply stepped into the tiny office, glancing at the screen.

Lance had offered to let him read his work before, and since he had referred to Keith as his muse, it would be fine to take a quick glance and then return to the couch.

Curse his impulsive ass.

Keith's eyes scanned the open document,

" _My life can be summarized up into quiet nights alone and broken pieces of a heart that I used to own,_

_I have yet to live, I have yet to find my reason to live,_

_but you, oh deities above, you were the prettiest thing I ever stole._

_I try to pretend that the world didn't want you, and by taking you I had done something right,_

_I know now that I was lying to myself when I said that, as if I hadn't tried to make the ground beneath you begin to fall only to swoop in at the last moment, like some sort of hero, to keep you from falling anywhere that was not into my arms._

_I learned you so I knew how to make you mine,_

_It was selfish and a horrible thing to do, to learn your pain so I knew exactly how to be there for you in a way that no one else could mirror._

_That's why it hurt so much when I learned that you didn't need me anymore,_

_it hurt because I realized how selfish I was being, and how much stronger you were._

_Believe me, this is not meant to hurt you, instead, I just wanted you to know that I messed up, whether or not you were aware of how bad I was to you._

_I'm proud of you for being strong, and I'm sorry that I could not be strong by your side, it takes everything within me now not to fall apart._

_It was a sweet sensation to burn, to bleed for you,_

_All of my love..."_

That was as far as Keith read before he heard Lance grumbling something from the other room. He pushed the laptop away from him, looking over his shoulder to make sure his friend hadn't seen what he had read. The words swirled through his mind, where Lance had found the emotion to write something like that was so entirely beyond him. When he looked at Lance all he could see was the sun shining through a smile that wasn't meant to be so blinding. Keith saw constellations in freckles, spattered across suntan skin. There was a certain light that came from Lance that spread warmth through the hearts of others, and stars-be-damned, Keith felt as if he would never run out of ways to describe the other boy.

Keith made his way back to the couch feeling slightly guilty for prying, but also, he felt like he could see something more in Lance. 

There was a list of things he knew about Lance, and he would have never pegged pain to the other boy's name. Hell, Keith knew that everyone had their own pain and that all pain was valid, but Lance was always burning so brightly, he would have never stopped to consider that he could be burning so brightly to avoid burning out. If he shined bright enough, he would blind others to the collapsing part of him underneath.

Keith had read something about how stars were like that, burning their brightest before they burned out. They could burn for years like that before they finally collapsed.

Lance cursed loudly, then a moment later he walked over with two plates, forks, and a slightly deformed looking omelet.

"Thanks," Keith said, accepting the food, knowing that fighting him on it would only make the situation worse.

"No problem," Lance responded easily. He wasn't aware of how much it meant to Keith that he would go out of his way to do so much for someone else and then act like it wasn't a problem in the slightest. He kind of loved the other boy for that.

"How'd you sleep?" Lance asked after a moment, a strange note of worry in his voice.

"Good, you?"

Lance nodded slowly. "Same..." With that he started to shovel food into his mouth, it was a bit disturbing how fast the other boy could eat, then again, Keith had never really cared for manners. "So, what are you up to today?" Lance said through a mouthful.

Keith merely shrugged. "Well, I was planning to go to the studio for a bit, but I don't have much to work on because I finished my projects over the week..."

"So, that was a lot of words to say you have nothing on your plate."

"Exactly," Keith couldn't help but laugh a bit. Lance's features brightened even further if it was possible at the sound of Keith's laugh.

"I suppose you want to go home at  _some point,_  sadly," Lance added on. Keith blushed a bit, sadly, yeah, he would be sad to leave, Lance had grown far too much on him in the course of one night.

"I suppose..."

"You could stay," Lance said as coolly as he could, Keith looked up at that, his eyes meeting Lance's deep blue gaze.

"W-what?" He stammered out. "I mean, I would hate to impose on you, especially when--"

"You're always welcome here, okay?" Lance said with a genuine smile. Keith felt something within him crack and swell in happiness. He was welcome with Lance, he was always welcome if he needed someone, which was more than anyone besides Shiro had offered him in a long time.

"Thank you," Keith said, and he found himself smiling again.

Lance nodded, his eyes lingering a bit longer than would be usual for 'just friends', but then again, Keith didn't even know what he should consider Lance anymore. "Anytime, Keith."

They both stared at each other for a long moment before Keith broke the eye contact, it was almost painful to look away and dig in his bag for his sketchbook. Lance disappeared for a moment before reappearing with his laptop.

And that was how most of the afternoon was spent, with Keith drawing at one end of the couch, and Lance lounging across the other side, complaining about how much effort it was to write.

The words that Keith had read earlier spun through his mind, and he had no doubt that Lance's words held some kind of ethereal beauty.

It almost struck him as sad that Lance wanted everybody to remember him in some way when Keith knew he alone would never forget the other boy. 

Memory was a fickle thing, yet Keith knew that such a stunning individual could never slip away from his thoughts, instead, that individual clouded his thoughts daily.

Keith hoped that he knew what he was doing because he was absolutely sure that he was falling in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo,  
> I'm really tired after pounding this out in an hour and a half...  
> Hope you enjoy~  
> (my space sons are still idiots. es k)
> 
> if you guys wanna hit me up to chat @siruniwhale.tumblr.com is the place to be ;)


	8. Messy Moments and Mistletoe

"Is that... Is that snow?" Keith asked with a frown as he stared out the fogged up bakery window. Lance was sitting across from him, sipping a warm drink slowly. He looked up, looking out the window with a frown.

"Shit, yeah it is..." Lance said with a small smile on his face. "Well, it's almost Christmas after all." 

Keith nodded slowly, going back to outlining the figure in his sketchbook, it was tipped against the table carefully so Lance couldn't see what he was working on as they chatted casually. It had been a few weeks since the night that Keith had ended up staying at Lance's apartment due to the rain, and since then, they had made it more usual to go other places but the bakery together. They went on walks and to the old bookstore in town. It seemed that every waking minute that Lance and Keith were not in classes or working was spent together. 

The past few weeks had been bliss... Keith had grown incredibly fond of spending time with Lance, he had grown fond of the metaphors and the poetry, and he had grown incredibly fond of the way that Lance made him feel. He made him feel light, and like there were butterflies dancing in his stomach every time their hands brushed or one of them would lean in too close. 

“What are you doing for Christmas?” Lance asked lazily, swirling his coffee before taking a deep sip.

Keith watched the snow as it swirled through the air, melting almost instantly as it hit the ground. “I usually spend Christmas with Shiro, how about you?”

“Christmas is a huge deal in my family, so I go home to celebrate,”

“Sound fun,”

“It is,” Lance said with a smile. “I’m leaving after exams next week.”

Keith nodded. “Nice,”

They both fell silent, staring out the window, far away from the moment at hand. It struck Keith that he would miss the other boy. He met Lance almost every day and it would be lonely not seeing him for two weeks, seeing he wouldn’t come back until after New Years. 

His heart sank. God, he would miss Lance.

“By the way, Allura said something about having a get together before everyone leaves for winter break,” Lance said. “Your brother is invited and of course you are too, so you should come, we can hang out before I leave.”

Keith nodded slowly. He didn’t usually like parties or get-togethers, but he would make an exception for this, he wanted to spend as much time with Lance as he could over the next week. He would just have to go back to focusing on his personal projects while Lance was gone. It was strange how Lance had made way into his life so easily, to the point where they saw each other almost every day. Now, faced with the prospect of Lance leaving hit him like a truck.

Keith clenched his hands into fists.

He would make the best of the next week, and hopefully, it wouldn’t be too terrible for Lance to leave for two weeks. 

~

The next week passed over coffee with lazy words floating between them as exams loomed over them, and their winter break just around the corner.

Keith waited for Lance to finish working the last day before he left, dreading the exact moment he would have to say goodbye.

_ Stars, Keith, he’s only going away for two weeks. _ He shook his head, he had been scolding himself for the past two weeks, he really couldn’t be this dependant on his friend, it didn’t even make sense how much he began to rely on Lance over the past few weeks. It was ridiculous, Lance would leave for a few weeks, and then he would come back and they would resume their life as usual.

But what if something changed while he was gone? What if he realized that Keith wasn’t worth his time anymore?

These thoughts had been sitting on the edge of his mind for the past week, causing him unrest. He knew it was irrational, but he couldn’t stop going back to those thoughts. It made him want to snatch Lance up and take him far away, Keith would keep that boy to himself forever if he had the chance, he was selfish, but those feelings were beginning to lead him further and further to the truth.

For awhile, he knew that he had a major, horribly unreasonable crush on Lance, but now, he knew he felt something more than that.

Keith swallowed, watching Lance work, restocking the case, making fancy drinks, and winking at strangers. He had so much light inside of him. Keith knew that he had thought that a million times, that the other boy was beautiful and shined like a star, but as long as he continued to shine, Keith would continue to stare in awe.

He loved the other boy.

Dear stars, he was so in love.

For awhile, Keith had told himself that it wasn’t possible to fall in love in such a short amount of time, but now...

He was absolutely sure of it, and he was deadly afraid that anything that Lance felt for him would fade. That’s why he was scared of Lance leaving.

Keith didn’t want to be left again, and every time he had loved someone before, they had left. It wasn’t fair, and he hated constantly fearing being abandoned.

He had so many messy memories that were restraining him from confronting Lance, and he hated it so much. He couldn’t stand the idea of Lance being anyone else’s, especially when he was sure that he would never choose Keith of all people.

“Hey, space cadet,” Lance said, waving a hand in front of his face as Keith blinked. He had been stuck in his head again, stars, he hadn’t even noticed Lance walking towards him.

“Sorry,” Keith mumbled. “I’m tired.”

“You ready to partayyy tonight?” Lance asked tugging at the ends of Keith’s red scarf playfully. Keith rolled his eyes.

“Eh.” He said flatly.

“C’mon, it’ll be Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Allura and some other friends, it’ll be a blast.” Lance grinned again, as Keith pouted. 

“You’re leaving tomorrow,” Keith said, Lance shrugged.

“I know, party tonight, focus tomorrow, that’s how this is gonna go.”

Keith finally nodded. “Okay, what time are you closing?”

“Six, so I got another hour,” Lance was pulling away. “You sure you’re not going to get lonely?”

Keith rolled his eyes, deigning to respond as he pulled his phone out. He only had a text from Shiro, asking if he would be there tonight. 

Lance had gone back to his job when Keith looked up again.

He had to say something, he couldn’t go on with this secret when it was tearing at his seams, trying to make it’s way out every time he opened his mouth.

_ I love you, _

Three tiny words that were taking over his life. He didn’t even appreciate words as much as Lance did, but he still knew that every word was weighted with some kind of purpose, and those three words together could change his life completely, for better or for worse.

_ I love him,  _

_ So why does it hurt so badly? _

~

The next hour passed quickly, and by the time Lance had finished working, and tidied up, flipping the sign around to show that they were closed, Keith had already packed up and was staring out the window at the steady snowfall.

He was beautiful.

Lance blushed, scrubbing the counter a bit more intensely.

He should really say something, he should let Keith know before the other boy inevitably slipped out of his reach.

He went to the back room and got changed, taking his time to calm his pounding heart before he went to get Keith. He really wanted the other boy, he thought about that night they had spent together a few weeks ago, it wasn’t anything horribly special, but the way Keith had let Lance hold him close, Keith wasn’t comfortable with  _ anyone _ and yet, he seemed perfectly content to let Lance hold him.

It made him want to have him close like that again. Lance shivered, pulling his coat a bit tighter as if it would drive the phantom shiver away. Keith was waiting patiently when Lance made his way out of the back, ready to finally head out.

“Ready?” Lance asked as he approached the table.

Keith nodded, standing, and shouldering his messenger bag. They left the small bakery, Lance locked up, keeping his eyes trained on what he was doing rather than Keith. He knew if he really looked at the other boy he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else.

It wasn’t every day he fell in love, but today, he knew he was.

The two boys began to walk in the direction of the place Allura had given them directions to. It was silent between them for a long time before Lance looked over at Keith, finding that he was staring at the ground, likely lost in his own head again.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Lance asked, bumping Keith’s shoulder gently to get his attention.

He glanced over with a small shrug. “Um, nothing too important.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Keith looked over with a frown. “Why?”

“You just seem tense, I don’t know…” 

“I’m fine.” Keith said, his voice flat and unconvincing.

Lance stopped walking, forcing Keith to slow down and look at him. “Keith, if you don’t want to go to this, you don’t have to, I can walk you home, If it’s making you nervous to go or--”

“I said I’m fine, Lance.” Keith bit out.

“Well, you don’t sound fine.” 

“I’m just tired, okay?” 

“Fine…” Lance said, beginning to walk again, not really caring if Keith followed him or not. 

~

The snow was still falling gradually, collecting on Lance’s royal blue hat as he walked away, Keith couldn’t help but just watch, unable to move.

If Lance could walk away so easily now than what was stopping him from leaving just as easily in the future?

Keith glared at the pavement, trying to ward off angry tears.

“Lance--” Keith choked out, taking a few weak steps after him before stopping again pain welling up inside him. His chest was tight and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“You coming, mullet?” Lance asked, tossing the question over his shoulder like it didn’t really matter whether or not Keith came with him.

He stomped after Lance, teeth grit and fists clenched. “Lance, just, stop for a minute and listen to me.” He said as they came upon a rather well-lit street. There were lights wrapped up and down the trees and festive smells in the air as the reached the center of town.

Keith reached out, catching Lance’s wrist, forcing them both to pause. 

“GOd, Keith, we’re going to be late!” Lance snapped, ripping his wrist out of Keith’s grip.

“Then just listen to me for a minute!” Keith felt his voice rising, out of desperation or anger, he wasn’t sure.

“What do you want--” Before Lance could finish, Keith gripped the collar his shirt tightly, and pulled him forward, pressing his lips against Lance in a shaky kiss.  Keith knew it was now or never, and although his heart was racing and his hands were shaking nervously, he let himself have that moment to kiss the other boy, their lips pressing briefly together, and it broke his heart when he realized that he had messed up.

There was mistletoe hanging in the front of the shop windows around them, and yet, Keith felt failure rising in his throat, he had no excuse this time, he had nothing to fall back on when the other boy stopped dead

Stars help him, he knew a moment later when Lance stilled and tensed up that Keith had never had a chance

_ Better to know now than later.  _ He  tried to tell himself weakly.

Keith pulled away, trying to conceal the hurt that he felt ripping through him as he turned and ran.

Lance never called after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops \\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Merry Christmas!


	9. Of Christmas Presents and Overdue Calls

Lance spent the next few weeks lost in his head and confused. He tried his hardest to pay attention to his family rather than simply continue to gaze out the window or stare blankly at an empty document page. He tried to enjoy Christmas, and the squeals of happiness from his niece and nephew, he really tried.

Yet, his mind kept wandering back to that street, where the trees were wrapped with pretty white lights, and the air smelled of festivity. He kept thinking about how terrified and small the dark-haired boy, who stood in front of him, looked. 

Lance thought about the mistletoe hanging nearby, and the way that Keith’s eyes had fluttered over to it only a moment before.

Then what he thought about most was the kiss. Short, soft, and hesitant. The way that a simple touch had sent panic streaming through his veins, a voice inside telling him that he was only going to relive the heartache he had endured the last time he tried to love somebody.

He froze up completely, and it definitely was not his proudest moment. He didn’t want to hurt his friend like that, he didn’t want Keith to leave with tears of bitterness clouding his vision.

As much as he hadn’t wanted that, Lance still hadn’t even tried to call out after him. He had let Keith go, too stuck up in his own shaking hands and racing heart to care.

He regretted it now, every day he wished that he had chased after Keith, if only so the other boy knew it was okay, that even if it would take some work, Lance still wanted Keith in his life. For awhile he had been thinking about how happy the other boy made him, and what that meant. Lance had come to the conclusion that he could possibly be falling in love, and it scared him. So he waited on the sidelines, hoping that maybe the feeling would work itself out, utterly unaware that Keith had been trying to figure out the same feelings.

Now, Keith thought that Lance had rejected him, and he had already gone an entire week without texting or calling. He knew that he should have tried to reach out to the other boy as soon as he had disappeared after the kiss. 

There were a lot of things that Lance had already done wrong, and he didn’t know if it was possible to make up for them now.

“What’s wrong?” His mother had asked on Christmas, while everyone else was laughing and having fun. Stars, Lance had tried so hard not to let his pain show. “You are lost in your head again mijo,”

“I’m fine Mam á,” Lance replied, “I just don’t know what to do.”

“What happened?”

Did he really want to explain everything? Keith had happened. Keith with his messy black hair and shocking gray eyes, Keith who was shy and quiet but also unbelievably intelligent and strong, the boy who had become his ‘muse’. Maybe it was less of a muse and more of an excuse to keep Keith close.

“I met someone, and I didn’t know how to respond to something they did, and because of it, I pushed them away…” Lance said carefully. “We spend a lot of time together, and he’s incredibly kind and patient, he’s inspiring in a way… And I think I might have lost him.”

His mother pulled him close at that, into a tight hug. “Then bring him back, only a fool wouldn’t come back to you,”

He had laughed to ward off the tears in that moment, thanking his mom before heading to his room and picking up his phone.

He wouldn’t let Keith go, he couldn’t. 

Lance felt his heart rising in his chest as he unlocked his phone, found Keith’s contact, and hit ‘dial’

~

The past week had been complete and utter hell for Keith. He spent most of the first week on Shiro’s couch, playing games with his brother and sulking. He hadn’t thought that it would hurt so badly to fuck up like that. Usually, he would have merely shrugged it off and moved on, but this time it was taking a lot longer for the constant dull thrum of pain to leave him alone.

Keith had let himself cry, he had sobbed it out alone in his apartment. He had cried until there was nothing left. Hell, he still had bruised knuckles from when he had punched the wall just to feel something again.

Shiro hadn’t asked too many questions when he showed up and asked to stay with him until Christmas since he would be there anyway. So he had been crashing on the couch in his brother’s apartment while thoughts of failure and heartbreak clouded his mind.

When Christmas Eve finally came around, Keith felt a little better, perhaps he had just become even more numb to the pain, or maybe he had finally dispelled it. Pidge and Matt came over to visit on Christmas Eve, along with Allura, who was as happy and kind as Keith knew her to be. Until they got into a competitive game of Mario Kart, because then the real demon came out and she was snarky and yelling angrily alongside Keith.

In the end, Shiro unplugged the Wii to prevent an actual fight from breaking out.

“You’re all insufferable,” He muttered.

Pidge stuck their tongue out at him while Matt walked over to help Shiro pull out the snack platters he had bought.

After that, the night went smoothly, and Keith felt better, he was having fun, and even if the feeling was short-lived, he was thankful for a distraction.

“Can we talk?” Pidge asked, they looked concerned and Keith wasn’t in any position to turn them down, so he nodded and they headed out to the small porch with them, shivering as snow floated around them and the wind blew. “Are you okay?”

Keith shrugged.

“Did something happen the night of that party, because you didn’t show up and Lance looked like shit the entire night,” Pidge said nudging Keith’s shoulder so he looked them in the eye.

“I might have fucked up,” He responded his shoulders sinking. He knew they would keep asking questions until he responded, so he might as well get it over with.

“How so?”

“I panicked, I guess. I just couldn’t stop thinking about Lance leaving and how easy it was for him to just walk away, and all I could think was: if he can walk away like this, what’s stopping him from leaving me behind?” Keith glared at the ground, willing himself to stay calm. “So we were on our way to Allura’s and he kept asking me what was wrong and I didn’t know what to tell him so I just got angry and snapped at him, which just made  _ him _ defensive so he just started walking and I knew he didn’t care whether or not I was following him. I followed him and grabbed his wrist because I wanted him to  _ listen _ to me, and he started getting angry so I just… kissed him?”

Pidge stood there for a few moments, just staring at him with wide eyes. “Oh shit,” They said.

“Yeah, and just he tensed up, so I just broke it off and left.”

“You left?”

Keith winced. “Yep.”

Pidge shook their head. “What if he was just too shocked to respond?”

“He was going to push me away if I let it go any longer anyway,”

“Are you sure?”

After a moment, Keith sighed, shaking his head. “No…”

Pidge bit their lip, rubbing their arms to ward off the cold. “Okay, one thing I think you need to understand about Lance is that he is an idiot, not in a bad way, but he has no idea how to deal with his feelings sometimes. He’s usually all sunshine and happiness, but it’s because he has so much he’s trying to figure out underneath it all. Our first year of college, he went through a really poisonous relationship with this girl named Nyma, she was  _ really _ manipulative, and Hunk and I tried to get him out, but he didn’t break it off until it was too late. She broke his heart, and because he’s just so good and he has trouble seeing anything but the good in the people around him.”

Keith just stared at them, not quite sure why they felt inclined to tell him all of this.

“Now, it might not sound that bad, but that boy listened to the song  _ Last Christmas _ , the George Michael one, over and  _ over _ again while he cried about this stupid-ass girl who had screwed him over. She was cheating on him for like a month and then had the  _ audacity _ to blame everything that went wrong in their relationship on  _ Lance _ , and it was a complete and utter shitshow.” They finished, rubbing their head like the whole thing was head-ache inducing.

“Oh…” Keith said. “Wow, that…  _ really _ sucks.”

“Tell me about it,” Pidge said. “But the point to me telling you all of that is: Lance probably just didn’t know how to respond, he hasn’t even tried to be in a relationship since Nyma fucked up his perfectly pure heart, and it’s likely he panicked a bit when you kissed him. He has a lot of bad memories when it comes to significant others.”

Keith nodded slowly, feeling a bit sick as Pidge continued. “So, you’re saying I wasn’t the only one panicking?”

“Definitely.”

“What should I do?”

Pidge shrugged, starting to head back to the door. “Give him some time, and just be there if he tries to reach out again. He doesn’t want to lose you Keith,”

They headed back inside, leaving Keith to ponder everything they had said while snow blew around him.

He couldn’t see the stars that night.

~

Christmas morning passed in a blur. Shiro and Allura were sickeningly sweet with the gifts they had gotten each other, and Keith simply had given them small tokens of gratitude, he also decided to tone down his comments every time they kissed or hugged.

Allura had gotten him a new sketchbook along with a gift card to the local art store, and Shiro had given him a ridiculous Christmas sweater and some various ink refills for his copics. It was a good morning.

They all decided to spend most of the day inside, watching programs on tv and lazing around the apartment. Keith packed his stuff so he could head back to his apartment later that day, and left Shiro and Allura on the couch together with a suggestive wink.

Keith had left before he could hear Shiro squawking in protest, a devilish grin on his face. Pidge had taught him well in the realm of being a little shit. 

As he walked home, he thought about everything Pidge had told him the night before. It made sense, but he still couldn’t help but worry that Lance might hate him after kissing him. Not that Lance was in any way a bad person, rather Keith felt that kissing him when he had such bad history with Nyma was the worse thing he could have done.

_ How the hell was I supposed to know that? _  He thought.  _ It’s not like he ever  _ told _ me. _

Keith breathed in deeply as he walked through town. He stopped walking when he reached the spot where it had happened. He didn’t really know why he went there, but he felt like he needed closure, and perhaps that place would answer some of his questions.

A moment later, Keith felt his phone vibrating with an incoming call as he took in the area around him. It was probably Shiro, maybe Keith had accidentally left something behind? 

Keith pulled out his phone, only to feel his heart stop as he saw who was calling.

_ Lance. _

He took a deep, shaking breath before he slid his finger across the screen and raised the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?” Keith said, voice slightly strangled in his throat.

It was silent for a moment on the other side, and Keith wondered if maybe it was all some kind of sick joke the stars were playing. 

“Hey,” He heard Lance say, he sounded almost as out of breath as Keith was in that moment. “Sooo, what’s crackalackin'?” Lance said, so obviously trying to sound casual.

Keith couldn’t help but snort. “Did you just say ‘crackalackin’ like it’s a valid way to ask someone ‘what’s up’?”

“Yes?” Lance responded. “Sorry, that was stupid,”

Keith shook his head. “So, what’s up? Why call?” Keith asked. he spotted a bench nearby, it was on the path by the river. Keith gradually made his way over to it, trying not to slip on the thin layer of ice that coated the pavement.

“Uhhh,” Lance started. “Well, I feel bad about not calling earlier,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Also for not trying to go after you that night.”

Keith hummed in response, finally making his way to the bench without falling on his face.

“I’m going to be back in town the day after New Years, could we maybe meet up somewhere?” Lance asked. Keith felt his heart flutter, pounding uncontrollably in his chest.

“That’s the first day the art studios at my campus are open again, I was planning to head in but--”

“That’s fine,” Lance said quickly, sounding disappointed. Keith winced.

“You could come with me?” He said slowly, his hand was shaking so bad he almost didn’t hear Lance’s response.

“Oh, yeah, sweet, it sounds like a plan… So, I’ll see you then?”

“Yeah.”

“Awesome…” He could hear Lance’s sigh of relief. “And, Keith?”

“Yeah?” He whispered. Keith felt so on the edge like he could cry, scream, or raise his hands to the stars in utter joy for giving him this.

“Merry Christmas.”

Keith couldn't help but smile the rest of the night, waiting in anticipation for the next week to pass.                              

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is to make up for the chapter I dumped on you yesterday (sorry) :P
> 
> I hope you all had a wonderful holiday (no thanks to me). What's the coolest thing you gave someone/the coolest thing you received? I got a ukelele and a new set of copics, whilst I gave my sister an anime figure and sweater socks XD 
> 
> if you guys wanna hang out and chat @siruniwhale.tumblr.com is the place to be ;)


	10. Another Chance

The next week passed quickly in anticipation, leaving Keith anxious and fidgeting on the morning that Lance had promised to meet him. They hadn't talked much in the past week besides a few quick conversations over text. Keith had mostly tried to focus on other things throughout the week, he had been working on paintings and portraits as he waited anxiously for life to return to normal when Lance returned to the bakery and they all went back to their various classes. 

When the day came, Keith considered calling it all off and staying home with the anxious feeling that knotted in his stomach. Lance's classes wouldn't resume for another week so they had agreed to meet at noon and even if Keith had every intention of working, he knew that the shaking of his hands, the dryness in his mouth, and the quickened pace of his heart would make it impossible to focus. If it came down to it, he might just ask to go for a walk with Lance instead, it sounded much more calming than bringing him to his campus in hopes of achieving any work time. 

An hour before they were supposed to meet, Keith couldn't take it any longer and found his coat and red scarf before leaving his apartment and heading towards the bakery, his bag shouldered and heart racing. He wondered if Lance would say anything about what had happened between them or if he would stay silent, waiting for Keith to bring it up. If Lance wasn't the one to acknowledge that it had ever happened than Keith knew he wouldn't be brave enough to say anything, and He could respect it if Lance only wanted to continue as friends, talking after long days of work and classes. What they had as friends had been enough, even if Keith's heart longed for more.

When he made it to the bakery, Keith could see Lance working inside along with Hunk and he froze up. He didn't know why he had even agreed to ever see Lance again after he so obviously did not want Keith. Dear stars, he felt like he might vomit if this went on any longer. Steeling himself, Keith entered the bakery slowly, taking in the lemon yellow and rose pink paint along with the smell of fresh-brewed coffee and sweets lingering in the air.

Hunk was the first to see him and waved enthusiastically. Keith knew that he and Lance had been friends for a long time by the way that Lance talked about him, they apparently lived in the same neighborhood. Which led Keith to believe the Hunk must have heard everything that Lance thought about Keith after the kiss, whether it was good or bad. Keith waved back nervously and Hunk nudged Lance, who had been focused on the coffee he was brewing.

"What?!" Lance hissed, Hunk rolled his eyes.

"Just thought you might want to get the next customer," Hunk said with exasperation, "And I was  _trying_ to be sneaky about it too."

Lance looked over his shoulder, and after seeing the smile that lit up the other boy's face, Keith felt that he might never recover. He had missed this, Lance's smiles, sparkling gray-blue eyes, and golden skin all lit up by the brightness of the bakery around them, stars, Keith felt the tension that had been building in him release a bit as he took Lance in.

"You're early," Lance said with a joking smile. "I won't be off for another hour,"

"That's never stopped me from showing up before," Keith replied softly, looking around. It was so cozy and loving in that place, he had come to enjoy it so thoroughly, Keith could spend hours in that place. "Just the usual, please," 

"Coming right up," Lance said with a wink, and Keith's heart fluttered. Stars, he hadn't expected this to be so easy, he had expected it to be awkward and tense between them. He tried to contain the smile that was playing at his lips as Lance handed him the drink.

"It's on me this time," Lance said when Keith went to pay, he felt his face heating up as he nodded, thanking his friend before he went to sit down at his usual table by the window. 

Keith didn't even bother to hide that he was staring at Lance this time, he couldn't help that he kept finding his attention fixed on Lance rather than the work he had tried to set out in front of himself. Stars that boy was beautiful, and after two weeks of pain and anticipation, Keith felt warm and content looking at the other boy from his table in the bakery that had consumed so many hours of his life.

Lance caught him looking over a few times, and only smiled a bit wider every time he noticed Keith's gaze. Obviously, every time he smiled Keith looked away with blush blooming on his cheeks. 

By the time Lance's shift had finished, Keith had accomplished nothing, save staring out the window or at Lance. He felt a bit embarrassed but he finished off his drink and waited for Lance to make his way out of the backroom. Keith fidgeted relentlessly as he stared out the window again, he had no clue what might happen during the course of the day, and it was slightly terrifying.

Scratch that, it was extremely terrifying.

"Hey," Lance said, sliding into the seat across from Keith. He flinched a bit, he had been too lost within his own head to even notice Lance coming over. Keith took a quick breath before looking over slowly, looking at the other boy was hard after two weeks of hating himself for missing that boy. Stars, the knots in his stomach were back, except this time butterflies also danced along the tightness in his chest.

"Hey," Keith barely managed. 

"You said you wanted to go to your campus, right?" Lance asked Keith was vaguely aware that it had definitely been the original plan. He shrugged, trying not to show how nervous he was. 

"Uh, you know, maybe we could just go for a walk instead? I'm not feeling entirely productive today," Keith said a bit lamely, Lance nodded enthusiastically anyway. 

"Anywhere particular you want to go?"

"Not really,"

"Cool, cool." Lance said with an exaggerated thumbs up. "Shall we?" He asked, gesturing towards the door. Keith nodded distantly before pulling his coat on and shoving his hands into his pocket as they headed out the door. He was vaguely aware of Lance throwing a thumbs up over his shoulder at Hunk, but elected to ignore it in favor of trying to get his hands to stop trembling.

Stars, this was proving to be a lot more difficult than Keith had expected.

As they walked, Lance started talking about his family, going on and on about what he had been doing over the past two weeks. Keith half-listened to him, watching as a light snowfall started. He shivered a bit, they had been walking by the river for awhile now until they came across a pretty bridge that went over the river in the public park. 

It took Keith a moment to realize that Lance had gone silent and was looking at him. Keith paused, giving Lance a quick, sidelong glance before fixing his gaze on the water that still ran, it was a bit more sluggish than usual with the ice along the edges. 

"Keith?" Lance asked a bit weakly. 

"Yeah?"

They had stopped walking, shit, Keith was trembling, what was Lance going to say? He braced himself as best as he could for the disappointment and rejection that he was sure was coming.

Lance looked like he was about to say something but elected not to as he looked at the snow. "Snow's pretty, amiright?"

Keith let out a short breath. "Yup,"

"You wanna know what else is pretty?"

Keith froze, looking over at Lance, knowing inevitably where this was supposed to go. "Uhhh,"

"The water," Lance said quickly. "It's pretty too,"

"What the actual fuck, is this conversation," Keith murmured, looking away, blush still on his face. Lance snickered for a moment and Keith tried,  _tried_ not to look at him. Evidently, he failed, looking over to find that Lance had his eyes trained on Keith. He swallowed, noticing how close they were. "Lance?"

"Yeah?"

Keith's eyes flickered to Lance's lips and back to his eyes before he took a step back, face bright red, he knew there was no hiding how flustered Lance made him this time. "Um, where should we go now? Or do you want to head back--"

"Did you know that you  _really_ suck at kissing?" 

He stopped. "What the fuck? Why is that important?"

Lance stepped closer, a sheepish grin on his face. "I just thought about that a lot over the past two weeks, like 'wow, Keith kissed me and it was romantic but he kinda sucks at  it',"

"Ohmystars, I-I was nervous! And you weren't listening to me so I just-I just did it, I didn't think you were  _judging_ it!" Keith hissed, glaring at Lance as the other boy continued to smile evilly, dear stars, this idiot would  _definitely_ be the death of him if things continued like this.

Lance's smile grew as he laughed and stars-be-damned, Keith was absolutely helpless when Lance laughed like that. "Why are you so defensive? It wasn't  _horrible_ , you just need some practice."

"Oh?" Keith was ashamed of the slight squeak in his voice. "And how do you suppose I practice?"

He hadn't noticed how close they had become until Lance tentatively placed a hand on his waist, watching Keith's eyes the whole time. With one more step or so the distance between them would be nonexistent. Keith stared at Lance, biting his lip as his heart stuttered anxiously.

"Well, if you weren't opposed, I  _might_ be able to help you in this area,"

Keith thought he might faint. "I'm definitely not opposed..."

Lance took the last step, closing the distance between them as he pressed his lips gently against Keith's, Lance's hand pressing gently into Keith's lower back to draw him closer as if Keith wasn't already seeing stars behind his eyelids as his arm came up, a hand resting on Lance's arm for support.

The kiss was  _definitely_ better than Keith's attempt had been. Lance seemed to relish in that as he pulled away, eyes sparkling.

"That'show it's  _supposed_ to be done," He grinned, Keith couldn't help but smile.

"Hmm, you might need to show me again, I'm not sure I quite caught how to do it  _right."_ Keith murmured, his confidence growing as Lance pulled him back again, pressing their mouths together a bit more firmly this time. It was fair to say that Keith pretty much  _melted_ into Lance's arms, hoping that whatever they had would last forever.

When they finally pulled back again, Keith shivered a bit, it definitely wasn't warm outside. Lance smiled softly, arms still around Keith's waist. "You're getting better,"

"I would hope so," He responded, gently setting a hand on Lance's cheek, eyes wide as if in awe. He tugged Lance forward into a tight hug, burying himself against the crook of Lance's neck as he let out a shuddering breath. "I missed you,"

Lance's arms tightened around Keith. "I know, I missed you too,"

"So, are we okay then?" Keith asked, pulling back just enough to see Lance's face.

"Yeah, I think so, great in fact."

"Good," Keith whispered. "Let's go somewhere, I'm freezing my ass off." 

Lance laughed loudly, pulling away. "I have leftover take-out in my fridge from last night,"

Keith took Lance's hand in his own, staring for a moment at how easily their hands fit together. Lance was smiling and so, Keith found, was he. He was so ready to just spend the evening on Lance's couch again, it was another chance to be close again, they could talk like they had always done and now... it felt like it could mean something again.

"Sounds like a date," Keith said, wriggling his eyebrows a bit so Lance laughed, Keith grinned along, his heart swelling with happiness, if this feeling lasted forever, then he knew he would be satisfied. He loved Lance, and the feeling of their palms pressed together and their shared warmth was enough to confirm it to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my precious children enough to give them this (~￣³￣)~ 
> 
> if you want to hang out with me @siruniwhale.tumblr.com is the place to be~


	11. What We Have

If Keith was being completely honest, dating Lance was  _ really _ nice. He hadn't expected for it to be so easy, but when he was with Lance, he just felt natural, like it was exactly where he was supposed to be. He had known since they first began to talk that he got along with the other boy, even if Lance was sometimes cocky or overconfident, he was kind, and Keith was drawn to him because of that kindness, and because of the words that seemed to dance in the boy's beautiful eyes.

He hadn’t known how much he had craved the boy's attention until he was close enough to touch or hold whenever Keith pleased. Stars above, he’d be damned if this wasn’t love. He had never been happier with anyone else, and every day felt like something new. Walking from school to meet Lance, staying at his apartment some nights, and even just holding that boys hand made Keith’s heart do backflips.

Sometimes he wished he didn’t have a life outside of those small moments between the two of them. Sometimes he wished that life would just go his way for a fraction of a second and that he had thought twice about applying for a scholarship all of those months ago.

Every day, he pushed those thoughts away and tried to focus on the moments. He had been entranced in the thought many times that he had always hated the town, but somehow Lance made everything feel alive and new.

Keith smiled to himself while he worked. He was so hopelessly smitten with Lance that there were times where he would simply stare at his paper and think about the other boy until it occurred to him that his work had been flowing naturally from the pen in his hand even when his mind had been otherwise occupied. He wondered if Lance ever thought about him like this, while he was working, while he put words on paper. He certainly hoped so.

When Keith was done for the day, he packed his belongings and made the familiar walk back towards the bakery, back towards a place in which he had never expected to find such happiness all of those months ago. Now, in the depths of one of the coldest months, Keith couldn’t help but be happy that he found someone that would very willingly share warmth with him under the bite of the cold wind or over coffee in the cozy bakery. When he made it to the door, Keith couldn’t help but grin as he slipped inside, the warmth folding over him as soon as he entered.

It was such a familiar sight to see Lance behind the counter, taking orders and smiling like he always did, and Keith couldn’t help but stare at the other boy for a long moment, only one thought running through his clouded mind.

_ That boy is mine. _

Hunk and Allura were both there as well working, and Pidge was at their usual table in the corner, not bothering to look up from the beat up laptop that they typed on furiously. In the desolate months that followed, Keith would think back to these moments, he would remember what it was like to feel so warm and full of happiness with a twinge of regret.

The stars had written out a path for him, and if this was it, he would be content. 

Keith stepped up to the counter and smiled at Lance. The other boy's eyes absolutely sparkled as he noticed Keith.

“Hey babe,” Lance said with a soft smile, leaning across the counter to peck Keith’s lips with his own. “The usual, I presume?” 

Keith nodded, the feeling of happiness in his heart absolutely swelling. Stars above, he loved that boy. Lance winked at him and went to work, handing him the warm cup a few moments later.

“Soo,” Lance started. “I was wondering if you’re busy tonight?”

“Not particularly,” Keith said slowly, his fingers wrapped around the coffee cup. Warmth creeped up his neck as Lance fixed him with an intense look.

“Alright, then you wouldn’t be opposed to me taking you out for dinner tonight?” Stars-be-damned, Lance’s smile was so soft and genuine. 

“Of course not,” Keith replied. “I look forward to it,”

“Good,” With another quick kiss, Lance went back to work, leaving Keith to sit down, face burning and heart beating. He decided to sit across from Pidge seeing that the bakery was busier than usual today. They hardly even noticed Keith until he waved a hand in front of their screen. 

“Hey Keith,” They said, still not looking up. Keith snorted, taking a sip of his steaming drink. Pidge was typing awful quickly, quicker than normal.

“Hey, whatcha working on?” He asked. They shrugged half-heartedly.

“Trying to hack into the government of course,” Pidge deadpanned. “Gotta find all the evidence of aliens that they’ve been hiding from us.”

Keith smiled. “Makes sense,”

“You know, also trying to find a file to confirm that the moon landing was totally fake,”

“So the usual?” Keith asked. “Just like in high school,”

Pidge smirked. “You know it,”

He laughed. “So what are you  _ actually _ working on?”

“A paper,” Pidge groaned. “I hate this, no one needs a fucking history paper to tell them what happened when the goddamn book is a fucking essay itself.”

“I think the point is to see if you can effectively write--”

“Shh! You sound like everyone else, you’re supposed to complain _with_ me, you traitor.” Pidge pouted as they went back to furiously typing. 

“Then, by all means, complain, my lips are sealed.”

“Good,” With that, Pidge launched into another rant while they typed. Keith half-listened as he scrolled through artwork on his phone. He glanced over at Lance a few times just to watch, and it sure as hell did not go unnoticed by Pidge.

“I cannot believe you’re attracted to a meme,” Pidge said eventually, their anger about the paper fading a bit. Keith’s attention snapped back to Pidge as his face lit up with embarrassment.

“He’s sweet,”

“He’s a complete dork,”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Agreed, but it’s charming,” Keith said a bit too defensively. Pidge burst out laughing. 

“Oh stars, you’re so smitten!” They cackled. “Keith, he makes bread puns  _ at least _ six times a day with the occasional tea or coffee pun mixed in. Also, one time his older sister showed up here and he cried because she brought up his pet hamster from like fourth grade. He’s a great guy, but please don’t lie to yourself, he is the  _ opposite  _ of charming,” By the end, Pidge was laughing so hard they were barely able to get the words out. Keith frowned. 

“Fine, but he’s fine just the way he is,”

“I wasn’t saying he isn’t, it’s just funny to see you of all people so taken with someone.” Keith frowned as they continued. “I’m really happy for you Keith, Lance is kind and I think it’s great that you two are together,”

“Ugh, stop, you sound like Shiro,” Keith said, sticking his tongue out. Pidge rolled their eyes. “Responsibility does not suite you, Pidgeon.”

“You’re one to talk,”

“Shut up,”

~

Lance’s shift ended about half-an-hour early that night, which was nice because Keith was starting to feel hungry by the time his boyfriend finished cleaning the counters and headed into the back room to get changed. Hunk had the late shift that night and was happy to let Lance off the hook a bit earlier than usual. 

Keith had his coat on and was slinging a scarf around his neck when Lance appeared from the back, zipping up his coat and walking over to meet Keith. They embraced and Lance pressed his lips against Keith’s a bit more fully than the earlier teasing kisses had been. Keith smiled against the other boy's lips and kissed him back. 

“Get a room!” Pidge said quite loudly from their spot by the window. Keith blushed as a few customers looked over with confusion, yet for the most part, all he found was supportive smiles and kind looks. Keith gripped Lance’s arm as he pulled away.

“Let’s go,” Lance said softly, slipping an arm around Keith’s waist as they made their way out the door. Lance stopped to wave Hunk and Pidge goodbye before making his way through the door all the way. Keith leaned into Lance’s warmth as the cold air bit at them, Lance didn’t ever seem too bothered by the cold, whereas Keith could barely stand the cold weather. Keith preferred warm weather any taken day, but being close to Lance made it a bit better.

“So, where are we going?” Keith asked, looking over at Lance as they walked. 

“Hmm, I have a few ideas, but where do you like?” Lance asked.

“There’s a nice place on 4th, I like it there,”

“Let’s go then!” Lance smiled, barely able to keep from kissing Keith again. They walked hand-in-hand through the streets, admiring the snow as it sprinkled down around them. There were still Christmas lights on the trees that were shining prettily in the growing dusk. Keith squeezed Lance’s hand a bit too tightly as they walked by the place where Keith had first pulled the other’s boy into a kiss. He was glad everything had worked out since then, but he could still feel the ache in his chest when he looked at that spot. Lance seemed to notice as well and squeezed his hand back. It was fine, they were together, and neither of them was planning on leaving.

Instead of focusing on what had happened before, Keith focused on what was happening right then, it was the only way to keep himself from questioning what they had. Lance smiled sheepishly at him as they continued by, heading down another street to the small restaurant that Keith had mentioned.

It wasn’t long before the two of them were seated indoors, coats shucked off and hands linked across the table. 

It was nice, just having time to themselves and talking without much care as to who heard them. They ordered, ate, and spent an ungodly amount of time looking at each other, but it was good, and it was so unbelievably comfortable to be there with the other boy that neither of them were really complaining much. 

Once they were finished, Lance ordered dessert for them to share. Keith told him that he really didn’t have to, but he brushed it off easily and soon enough they were sharing dessert in the low light of the restaurant. 

Overall, it was a successful date, and Keith knew he would never recover from how kind and amazing Lance was to him. 

Afterward, it felt entirely natural as they went for a walk, bundled up and walking close on the small sidewalks. It hadn’t gone unnoticed as Lance set his hand on Keith’s lower back and tugged him a bit closer as they came upon an open area for shoppers to sit and take a break. 

Keith’s heart stuttered as Lance stopped, looking at the lit up trees in the square, eyes sparkling and reflecting the white light. Keith stepped a bit closer out of habit, brushing his nose gently against the side of Lance’s neck as he nuzzled into the other boy’s warmth. 

Then they were pressed together, Lance tipped Keith’s chin up slightly before closing the distance between them and kissing him deeply. 

It was fair to say that Keith absolutely melted into the kiss, Lance tended to have that effect on him. The other boy’s hand found their way to Keith’s hips as he looped his arm around the back of Lance’s neck, anchoring him as they continued to kiss under the dimly lit trees in the square.

Everything in that moment felt right.

For once, Keith’s mind did not wander, he did not feel anxious when Lance let him go and looked into his eyes like that, instead he leaned in again and took the next kiss for himself. He loved that boy, and his only wish was for whatever they had to last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for once, a chapter of this fic is just pure fluff??   
> also, season 2 was lit but needed more Lance, amiright? (I'm always a slut for character development)  
> Okay, so I got a few messages after last chapter wondering if that was the end, but it's not, I have a lot more planned for this fic,,, so like, here's this chapter, and I set an amount of chapters that might vary.  
> So sorry for the delay on getting another chapter out, finals killed me.   
> I'm still in shock after season two and gave up after 2,000 words, sorry D:
> 
> If you wanna hang out w/me @siruniwhale.tumblr.com is the place to be


	12. Goodbye

“Holy shit,” Keith whispered, staring at his phone while he sat in the studio that day. He knew he had a chance, he had known that he was being seriously considered, but he hadn’t expected _this._

“Holy shit, holy shit, ho-oly shit!” A _full scholarship_ to one of the most prestigious art schools out there. He had also been informed that his work had been noticed and he was wanted to interview for a full-time job once he finished the next semester in his illustration major.

Keith didn’t realize that he was shaking until he had to set his phone down. He couldn’t tell if the shaking was from happiness or utter disbelief and anxiety, either way, he could hardly think straight.

Back when he had applied he had merely thought it was a good chance, moving to the coast to go to a better school with better opportunities, and _now?_ Well, now his dream was so close to becoming a reality around him. Stars above, this was actually happening, and to him nonetheless.

One of his professors had recommended applying, and he would have to thank her later. Right now, he had to think. They were willing to accept his transferring over for the beginning of their second semester (which started in a few weeks after their January Term) That was a bit short-notice and it was definitely smarter to wait until the next year to transfer over but everything was falling into place and he could leave. He could get out of the town he had felt trapped in and go on into something he loved and--

Keith paused. If he left this place he would be leaving behind everything he had built. He would leave behind the bakery and quiet walks on the path, he would leave behind his friends and family, and most of all, he would leave behind Lance.

Keith felt his chest tightening. He would leave behind the person who had come to mean the world to him. He was sure that long-distance would work, he was committed enough for that, but would Lance be? Would Lance even want to be more than a moment away from him? Keith shook his head, Lance would understand.

Lance had to understand. This was what Keith had wanted for so long before he had met Lance, before he had begun to meet up with old friends and try to make due with the little college town on the edge of the river that looked pretty when the leaves were dying around him. If Keith accepted the scholarship, he would have to make peace with leaving behind something that had begun to feel so right and perfect.

It wasn’t like moving away meant he had to leave the connections behind, only the town, which he had never been that fond of anyway.

Keith stared down at the email, knowing he had likely gotten a letter as well to notify him of this, stars above, he couldn’t say no to something like this, it was far bigger than him it was bigger than the people around him.

But, he would miss being so close to Lance, the boy he had fallen in love with. Would their feelings fade once he was halfway across the country? Perhaps Lance did not feel as deeply as Keith did, and maybe he would give up once it became evident that Keith wasn’t turning back.

Or maybe, Lance would accept it with open arms, and he would support his decision. Keith smiled at the thought. Lance would be happy for him, right?

It was still difficult not to have his doubts as Keith turned off his phone and went back to what he was working on. His thoughts were so out of whack, he couldn’t focus on anything. Eventually, he gave up, leaning back with a groan and rubbing his tired eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping well lately, even if he had been unusually happy (even Shiro had noticed the shift in Keith’s mood for the past few times that they had met up) something had still been tugging at the back of his mind for the past few weeks, even if he had been happy with Lance, even if it had felt like some of the happiest times in his life, there was something constantly tugging at him.  

_Neither of us are planning on leaving anytime soon,_

Keith cringed, thinking of those words he had so thoughtlessly said. No, Lance would understand, this opportunity was exactly what he had been looking for.

He stood, determined to let his professor know about the scholarship, she had directed him towards it after all.

He was following his dreams, how could Lance not support that? He would be happy for Keith, they would talk over skype and visit each other as often as possible.

He would accept it, and everything would be just fine.

~

The door dinged as Keith entered, Lance looked up from the book he was reading behind the counter as he waited for customers to come in. The Bakery was empty that day, which was nice because it would give them room to talk. Keith felt rather nervous as Lance smiled at him. It wasn’t that Keith thought his boyfriend would take it badly, but he didn’t exactly want to disappoint Lance in any way.

Sure, Lance himself certainly did not have simple plans for his future, not with that desire to be remembered for his determination to do his best and the effort he poured into his work. Keith wouldn’t expect Lance to be one to want anything less than what he imagined, and if that was true, there would be no reason for Lance to react badly to Keith following his own dreams.

“Hey babe,” Lance said softly with a smile as he noticed Keith. Since no one was there, Lance slipped out from behind the counter and pulled Keith into a tight embrace.

“Hey,”

“What’s up, I didn’t think I’d see you today with all of the work you had on your plate,” He murmured against Keith.

“Yeah, well, something happened and I felt like it was fine to leave early.” Keith breathed Lance in, nuzzling against the other boy’s neck happily.

“What happened? You seem really happy,” Lance smiled down at him, running a hand idly through Keith’s hair as the other boy tightened his grip on Lance.

“I got a full scholarship to another school,” Keith said slowly, “But it’s really far away and--”

He was cut off by Lance suddenly stepping away, his eyes wide and hurt. “Wait, what do you mean? Are you going to accept it?”

Keith shrugged, trying to ignore the way that his stomach suddenly twisted in fear. Why was Lance looking at him like that? Everything would be fine, this was supposed to work out. “Uh, I mean… I accepted it, it’s an amazing school, and the opportunities--”

“You said you weren’t going to leave,”

Keith flinched. “Lance, listen, it’s gonna work out, we can figure it out--”

“Were you even thinking of us when you made the decision to accept it?” Lance managed to bite out, angry tears flooding his eyes. “What the hell, Keith?”

“I-I thought you would be happy for me,” Keith whispered. “I have dreamed of going to this school ever since I decided I was going into art, but two years ago they wouldn’t give me the full packaged scholarship, so I got better and then I heard they were giving away scholarships and I thought--great, I can get out of here--but then I met you, and everything changed.” He took a deep, stuttering breath. “Lance, being around you makes me want to try to follow my dreams, you’re so determined and full of life and I wanted that, now I have this chance--”

“And you would leave for that?” Lance asked.

“Wouldn’t you?”

“How far?”

“It’s on the coast, west coast,”

Lance turned away, walking back towards the counter as he ran his fingers through his hair. He was shaking, and Keith couldn’t help the tears that began to slip down his face.

Lance would make him choose, and he wasn’t ready to choose.

“Keith, that’s like halfway across the country--”

“I know, but there are so many more opportunities there--”

“Did I do something wrong? Did I do something to deserve you leaving?”

“Lance, no, what the fuck? We can make this work! If it was you leaving I would be happy for you, I’m not saying that I like the prospect of leaving you behind...okay? Why can’t you see that?”

Lance pursed his lips, there were tears on his cheeks and Keith wanted nothing more than to reach out and brush them away. He wanted Lance to see that it could still work. That they would be fine. Keith didn’t want it to end between them, Lance was the best thing that had happened to Keith in a long time.

“Lance…” Keith said weakly, stepping towards the other boy, reaching for him.

If Lance pulled him back, then there was a chance at saving this, but the further Lance seemed to curl into himself, the more Keith lost hope. He would leave, he had known it ever since he had found himself suffocating in this town, in the place where nothing new ever happened, where the opportunities never quite satisfied him.

“Just go,” Lance huffed out, stepping back from Keith. “I don’t want your goddamn excuses.”

“Lance, I’m not--”

“I can tell you’ve already made your decision, so just go, I don’t want to see you right now.”

“We can make this work, Lance, you just have to listen to me--”

“You say that, but you’ll be there and I’ll be here. You’re leaving me behind in this stupid city that I don’t even like without you. So go, Keith, go to the coast and make out with other guys and get a job and forget about this place. Forget about me.”

Keith frowned. “What the hell, Lance, why would you even say that?”

“Because I’m not the one running off to the west coast and abandoning his boyfriend.” Lance said simply, shooting Keith a look that honestly killed part of him.

“Why are you _so_ against the idea of a long-distance relationship?”

Lance tensed up a bit. “It’s never worked for me before, so why would it work now?”

“Because, I don’t know, I actually _care about you!”_

“Do you?”

_“Yes!”_ Keith yelled, his voice cracking as tears streamed down his face uncontrollably. “I-I’m sorry that you can’t s-see that, I thought you would be happy for me… _I thought you would understand!_ ”

“It feels like you aren’t even trying,”

“I’m trying my hardest Lance, I’m trying…” He whispered. Lance wouldn’t even look at him. Stars, everything was burning around him and he couldn’t do anything. “Did you expect me to just sit around and do nothing with my life, Lance? Did you want me to live in your apartment and be your _muse_ while my own talents went to waste? You are not the only one who seeks a legacy, maybe I want to do something with my art, and maybe this is the next step I can take. Wouldn’t you move forward if you had the chance?”

Lance shrugged, eyes still lingering on the ground rather than meeting Keith’s. “I-I just don’t want you to leave,”

“I’ll call and I’ll visit, I’m not leaving you behind, Lance.”

He said nothing.

“I love you,” Keith whispered, he knew it wasn’t the time, or maybe it was, but something inside Lance must have snapped completely, because he met Keith’s eyes with a bitter smile, and Keith’s heart sank.

“I can’t do this, not like this.”

It was over.

It hurt.

“Lance--”

“Get out,”

“Lance, please--”

“ _I said: get out!”_ Lance’s voice was so raw and broken as he screamed, and Keith stepped away, his back hitting the door. He felt tears slipping down his face faster.

It hurt so much.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered.

Then, he was gone, and he did his best not to look back.

It hurt, and he did all he knew to get away from that pain,

He ran.

~

_“We can make this work Lance,” Nyma had whispered against him. “I’m not going that far,”_

_Lance had nodded, he knew she was right, just a city away with better opportunities for her. He had agreed without question, sure, it would be difficult not living in the same space as her anymore, but they could make it work, it wasn’t even as if it was that far away._

_So he had let it go, he had helped her move into her new place, he had met her new neighbors, and had left to drive back to his place after a goodbye kiss._

_They still saw each other on weekends and certain date nights, and it was good, different, but good._

_He hadn’t questioned it when she began to pull away when she had grown distant._

_He interest in him faded, and he had refused to see it until he had gotten a call from one of those neighbors, Pidge, who he had become rather good friends with. They were moving into the dorms the next year but lived with their brother in the apartment across from Nyma._

_“Hey, you’re Lance, right?” Pidge had asked quietly over the phone._

_“Uh, yeah, Pidge?”_

_“Yeah, are you and Nyma still going out?”_

_“Yeah. Why?”_

_“...You might want to take a seat,”_

_“Pidge, you’re scaring me,” Lance had laughed breathily, his heart racing._

_“She’s cheating on you,”_

_“What?”_ _  
_ _“This guy, I don’t know his name, but he’s loaded, keeps stopping by her house, and I’ve seen them around the city together a few times… I hate to break this to you… but she’s not going to do you any good Lance, dump her while you have the chance.”_

_With that, Pidge had hung up, leaving Lance with a racing heart and panicked breaths._

_He made quick work of dialing her number even with his hands shaking._

_“Nyma?”_

_“Lance? Why are you calling at this time?”_

_“Sorry, are you busy?”_

_“Yeah,”_

_“Someone said you were with someone, is that true?”_

_There was silence on the other end of the phone._

_“Lance, I’m sorry, it’s not what you think--”_

_“Isn’t it? You’re cheating,”_

_“I tried Lance, I really tried to keep us together but everything started to fade, and you’ve never treated me like he does. You’ll never be able to. I’m sorry.”_

_“Nyma--”_

_“I tried my hardest Lance--”_

_“We can make this work--”_

_“Do you really expect me to sit around and wait for you to make history, Lance? Do you really want me to sit around in your small apartment and keep you entertained rather than doing something with my life? Stars, Lance, you’re so selfish.”_

_“Nyma, I’m trying so hard, I love you.”_

_“Well, it’s not enough, Lance, you’re not enough. Okay? Now leave me alone. We’re done. I have so many more opportunities with him, so get out of my life.”_

_With that, the phone had gone dead and he had been left behind with tears streaming down his face._

_It wouldn’t have worked out, it would have ended the same way,_

_Stop thinking about her._

_Stop thinking about him._

_They left you behind, it would have never worked anyway._

_It would have turned out the same._

_~_

In his last few weeks in that city, Keith didn’t see or hear from Lance once. He hadn’t really been expecting to hear from him, but part of Keith had constantly hoped that he would wake up with a text or get a call.

He wished that he could fix whatever had broken, but he couldn’t.

So Keith kept his distance from the bakery and anywhere else that he might see Lance.

Still, at night, he hugged a pillow close to his chest as he cried, ocean eyes haunting his dreams. He couldn’t stop thinking about the other boy, and maybe leaving was his best option now, but Keith was scared, he was in so much pain, and he didn’t know if even the fresh air of the coast would help him breathe.

He talked to everyone else, told them that he was leaving, and they were happy for him. Allura had even set up that he could live with her uncle in their beach home which was about a ten-minute commute from the school. Allura’s uncle was a rather prestigious exotic photographer, who was rarely home and left his house open for Allura or her friends. Keith very well could have lived on the campus, but he was grateful for the offer, it meant he would at least have a place to retreat to if he needed time to himself. So it was settled that he would live there. Coran would be happy to have him, plus, Keith could provide for himself mostly, so the fact that Coran would be gone most of the year was rather beneficial, it was like house-sitting, Allura had explained, ultimately it was doing Coran a favor to have someone at the home.

Shiro drove him to the airport when the day for Keith to leave came, and Keith couldn’t be more anxious to get out of there.

“Good luck, Keith, we’re all behind you,” Shiro said, embracing him before Keith turned to get checked in.

“I’ll keep in touch!” Keith called over his shoulder with a smile. “Tell everyone that I’ll miss them a ton,”

“Will do,” Shiro responded. “We’ll have to come visit this summer or something.”

“Sounds great,” With that, Keith walked over to check his bags and head off to security.

It was a few hours before he boarded the plane, and when he was finally in his seat, by the window, with his heart racing from anxiety, he checked his phone to find an array of messages from his friends.

Keith smirked reading them.

**From Pidge:** Good luck my dude, love you, and I’ll miss seeing you around.

There were a few more from them that consisted of goofy memes and jokes to make him feel better. Keith smiled before going to check some others.

**From Shiro:** I know I just said goodbye, but I’m gonna miss you, little bro, keep following your dreams. (I teared up) :’)

**From Allura:** Shiro just started crying, we love you a ton, good luck!! (tell my uncle I say hi when you see him!!)

**From Hunk:** Good luck dude!

There were a few other messages from various people he had met at school, mostly saying congratulations and good luck. Every message made him happy, his heart felt warm, and he bit his lip hard to keep himself from breaking down. He missed them, and he knew he would miss them every day, but he was heading on to better things.

Lastly, he clicked on Lance’s name. There was nothing since they had fought about Keith leaving, and he knew he should say something, try to apologize again or at least say goodbye.

Instead, he began to scroll up through old messages, his heart tightening and his lungs feeling tight.

**Lance:** u coming to the shop 2day?

**Keith:** you know it ;)

**Lance:** can’t wait! See you there boo <3

**Keith:** <3

Tears slipped down Keith’s face, a bitter smile crossing his features.

**Lance:** are you sleeping yet?

**Keith:** nah, what is sleep?

**Lance:** you should have just slept here with meeeee

**Keith:** next time, you should sleep.

**Lance:** i miss you

**Keith:** you saw me like an hour ago

**Lance:** I know.

There were a few more conversations that Keith read through before he scrolled back to the bottom and let his fingers hover over the keyboard for a moment.

He quickly typed out a message, hit send, and then deleted the conversation. He turned off his phone and leaned back in his chair.

The flight left ten minutes later, and Keith didn’t regret a thing as he flew away from the city.

~

He knew that Keith would leave today, but Lance hadn’t bothered to get out of bed or to see if the other boy changed his mind. Instead, Lance laid on his back, staring at the ceiling blankly, his heart empty and his head pounding with a headache.

A moment later he heard his phone buzz, and Lance rolled over with a groan.

His heart stuttered as he saw who it was from.

**Keith:** I’m sorry and goodbye.

Lance felt tears begin to form in his eyes. He hated it. He hated this feeling, he hated feeling so out of control.

He hated knowing that he had caused this. He could have reacted differently. Lance knew that it might have worked with Keith, but he had let everything from before cloud his judgment until Keith was gone.

Lance tapped his phone slowly, finalizing his words with a quick message.

It was over. Nothing would fix the gap he had created between them.

The worst part was that Lance only had himself to blame.

**Lance:** Goodbye, Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry,  
> also, this is the end of Part One™ of this fic wooo!  
> If you want to scream stuff at me @hauntedbyangels or @siruniwhale.tumblr.com is the place to be


	13. New Beginnings (Do Not Go Gentle)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is trying his best and Lance is a mess, but they fight through it ft. lines from one of my favorite poems : )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all gonna be okay my dudes,
> 
> also, I drew some quick art for this fic when I was sick (bc if I don't, who will?)

* * *

The city was beautiful, it really was. Keith had always appreciated big cities. There was always enough people to become totally lost within, no one knew his name, and no one knew his story. It was a new beginning, he could become anyone from here on out. It reminded him that even with everything that had happened, there was room to grow in himself, there was room to become who he truly wanted to, rather than being constrained to a small studio in a small town where nothing ever changed.

Here, he was new, and he was free, even if he still woke up reaching for someone who was no longer there.

Someone who had pushed him away without a second thought. There was no explanation to go along with it either, and although it still occasionally hurt like a bitch, Keith had moved on.

_Goodbye, Keith._

Goodbye indeed, he didn't plan on turning back now. Sure, Lance wasn't the only one he had left behind, but the others seemed far more agreeable about the subject, and when they called over skype just gave him a quick phone call, they were careful to avoid any mention of Lance.

And to his own surprise, he was fine with that, there was no reason for him to care.

Except, sometimes, he did. It was a fading reality, really. There were nights where he would find himself suffocating, trying to reach for a breath because the thought of Lance was just too much. Then there were nights where he would be fine, and sure, there was a dull ache in his chest, where his heart thrummed, but it was fading. He wasn't happy, but he knew that he would be eventually--and that's what mattered.

The year had practically flown by since he had gotten there, and it was almost summer now. Every day, the little bakery faded from his mind, and eventually, he couldn't remember what Lance's lips felt like against his own, what he smelled like, or what his voice sounded like. Slowly forgetting was a sort of torture, but it also left Keith with the hope that one day he would be completely free of Lance, and maybe he would forget the color of his eyes, the freckles that spattered across his nose, or the way his smile was as bright as the sun on a warm summer's day.

There were definitely nights where he woke up feeling like he couldn't breathe when Keith thought about the other boy, there were definitely moment when he stared at his phone, knowing that it would only take a single tap against the screen to remember what Lance's voice sounded like.

Yet, he had put his phone down every time, vowing that he was stronger than that.

He would keep moving, he was strong enough to get through this.

_Do not go gentle into that good night._

He smiled to himself, holding his head a bit higher. He would not go gentle, he would live boldly and as freely as he deserved to. No more tears, no more hurt

_Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

~

They were all worried about Lance. They had been worried since Keith left, and it wasn't even like Lance to be so utterly devastated over something. Even when Nyma had cheated on him he hadn't reacted like this. Not that he had reacted well, but the devastation hadn't lasted that long.

"Have you seen Lance today?" Allura asked as Hunk came into work that day. It wasn't like Lance to skip work or classes over a heartbreak, it was more like him to build up a wall and pretend it hadn't happened, but for some reason, the last few months had been nothing like that. Hunk shook his head, setting his bag down.

"I've hardly seen him all week,"

Allura sighed visibly, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Can you go check on him? Just to make sure he hasn't died?"

Hunk nodded, the brightly lit bakery hadn't seemed the same since Lance stopped showing up, hell, it hadn't been the same since Keith had left. It wasn't like Lance to all so deeply into his own pain, it had been months, and sure, he had fucked up, but he had done nothing to fix it. Hunk was beginning to worry, they all were, it wasn't healthy to stew in self-pity like that.

If he wanted something to change, he should get up and make an effort.

The walk to Lance's apartment felt rather long that day. Sure, being Lance's best friend, Hunk had been there multiple times, but there was something different about the past few months. Everywhere they went, Lance seemed to be in an entirely different world than the rest of them.

Lance had been writing almost obsessively for the past few months, locking himself in his apartment for long periods of time, and barely showing up anywhere outside of school and occasionally work. He had had moods like this before, but they never lasted this long, at least, not in the time that Hunk had known him.

Hunk reached the apartment building and pushed the buzzer.

~

The buzzing noise was loud and insistent in Lance's ear, and he groaned loudly, flopping off the couch as it didn't stop. He felt like shit, he probably looking like shit too. Also, the headache in his temple was almost unbearable. He knew what it felt like to fall apart, but the past two months had been so much worse than that. It was a constant cycle of building himself back up only to watch as the tower of broken pieces crumbled apart again.

He really hated hurting like this, but every time he tried to do something about it, he was seized with a force of panic that wasn't quite in his control.

The buzzing continued.

He hardly heard over the deafening numbness that swirled through him. He stumbled a few times before answering the insistent buzzing.

"Hello?" Lance asked groggily, his voice almost cracking. Shit, how long had it been since he had spoken? Or drank water? His mouth was really dry and his throat felt like it was clogged.

"Lance, it's Hunk, let me in," Hunk said flatly.

"Uhhh why?"

"I haven't seen you in like two weeks,"

"Yeah, I've needed some alone time?"

Hunk sighed audibly. "Let me in."

"Fine," Lance said, he could probably use some Hunk at the moment, if anyone could help him sort through his shit, it would be his best friend.

It didn't take too long for Hunk to make it up to his apartment. There was a knock on the door, and Lance made his way over to let Hunk in, only stumbling once or twice on his way over. His head was killing him, and he couldn't remember much past the haze of being slightly drunk and crying on the couch the night before.

"Dude, you look like shit," Hunk whispered as Lance opened the door. Lance rolled his eyes, leaning against the door, mostly just so he wouldn't have to support his own weight.

"If you're here to insult me, you can just leave," Lance drawled. Hunk pushed past him easily into the apartment. With a sigh, Lance shut the door and followed him.

"It's a mess in here,"

"I could restate what I just said about insults or--"

"Dude, what's with all the bottles? This much alcohol cannot be healthy,"

"Who said anything about needing good health--"

Hunk turned to him with a glower, it shut Lance up incredibly fast. "Okay, listen, Lance, you're going to go take a fucking shower while I clean your shit apartment up and make you something to eat, you look sickly."

"I'm fine, Hunk, you don't need to take care of me," Lance muttered, falling dramatically onto his couch. He hated feeling so pathetic, then again, he wasn't really trying to help himself by getting drunk and crying over some guy who had moved halfway across the country for a better life.

He should have felt happy for Keith, he should have been supportive--Keith had been _counting_ on him to be happy, and all Lance had done was push the other boy away. He had panicked, the situations were mirrored in his mind, Nyma and Keith, the difference was Lance hadn't even given Keith a chance.

Keith had deserved a chance, instead, it was all Lance could do not to fall apart as the boy had told him that he was leaving. Lance had recoiled so violently that he was still trying to recover from the whiplash of it months later.

He had felt himself falling apart, and the best thing he could do was retreat and try desperately to put up a barrier between him and the other boy before someone else got caught in his emotional crossfire.

Still, there had been so much pain in Keith's eyes, and then he was gone.

_I'm sorry, and goodbye._

Lance could have tried so much harder. Keith deserved so much better. He had trusted Lance, and all he had done was throw Keith's excitement back in his face and create a bitter resentment between them that might never fade.

_Goodbye, Keith._

"Lance!" Hunk said loudly, Lance snapped out of his mind, meeting Hunk's worried gaze tiredly.

"Sorry," He mumbled, curling further into the couch, partially hoping that it would engulf him before his pain did.

"Seriously, go take a hot shower, do your face routine or whatever, and I'll make dinner, you need to start taking care of yourself,"

Lance groaned noncommittedly.

"I won't leave you alone until you agree,"

"Fine," Lance snapped, sitting up. Hunk smiled sadly after Lance as he left the room. He should have been over this by now, but here he was, still worrying his friends and dealing with his feelings like a child. He had so much emotional baggage and it just kept building up and he felt like the weight of it would never fall off his shoulders.

Even writing it out did nothing to ease the growing emptiness that ate away at him every day.

When Lance had finished showering and washing his face, he slipped back into his living room, feeling incredibly lost. He looked around his own home and felt nothing of recognizable nature. It was horrifying really, feeling himself slip away like this.

Lance felt something warm slip down his face before he collapsed onto the couch, unable to hold himself up any longer. He faintly heard Hunk calling his name, and then shaking him a moment later. Stars above, they didn't need to stay with him, all he was doing was dragging down the people around him. He knew they loved him, and he was so thankful that they were there for him, but also, he wanted them to go on with their lives and not be forced to wait up for him.

Hunk was hugging him tightly when Lance managed to respond. He pressed his head against his friend's shoulder and let himself fall apart again. He didn't bother to keep track of how long he sat there sobbing uncontrollably, but when it finally slowed down, he felt a bit better, empty yes, but a bit clearer than he had been feeling before.

“You okay, buddy?” Hunk asked eventually as Lance started to pull away.

Lance paused for a moment, looking away with a shrug. He wanted to say yes, but not yet, maybe eventually he would be able to say that he was better and that it didn’t hurt, but not yet. “I think I will be,” Lance whispered. “Eventually.”

Hunk smiled, pulling Lance back into a bear hug. “That’s all we ask, just try your hardest. Everyone misses you, I miss you, so if you need our help, we’ll be here for you Lance.”

“Thank you,”

Hunk nudged his friend playfully. “Let’s get you something to eat before you collapse.”

“Wow, I’m sure I don’t look _that_ bad.”

“You kinda do,”

“Rude!”

They looked at each other for a moment before Hunk giggled and Lance burst into a fit of laughter. It felt good, it felt normal.

Lance could really use feeling back to normal these days.

~

“There he is! It’s dat boi!” Pidge yelled as the door into the bakery dinged. Lance walked in with a small, tired smile on his face.

“O shit waddup!” He responded easily, shooting Pidge his signature finger guns. They burst into laughter before slipping out of the seat they were sitting in and running over to give Lance a tight hug. Pidge was not one to go around hugging people, so Lance relished in their tight grip for the fraction of a second that the hug lasted. He felt a twinge of guilt when they pulled away and stuck out their tongue at him, they must have been really worried.

It had been a few days since Hunk had come over, and he had been checking in systematically over the past few days until Lance had felt up to coming back to work. Now he was there, ready to go back to normal, ready to flirt with strangers and write his number on cups, or whatever the hell he used to find so fucking enjoyable.

Lance smiled, the little bakery really was a light spot in his life, he had missed the smell and the warm pastel walls. It was a home to him, it was safe.

“Don’t go disappearing on us again,” Pidge said over their shoulder. “All of your usual customers missed you,”

“Like you didn’t, Pidgey-Widgey?”

“What the fuck is a ‘Pidgey-Widgey’?”

“One of my specialty nicknames of course!” Lance beamed. Pidge grinned but tried their hardest to look exasperated.

“Stars, when I heard you were coming back, I didn’t think I’d get your bad nicknames back too,”

“You know it!” Lance winked before heading back behind the counter and to the staff room to sign in and change. He looked into his reflection, taking a deep breath. He was getting better, every day the ghosts of the touches he so relished slipped further and further away. One day after the next, one step forward, he had this, he would go on.

It was time to move on, and he wouldn’t hold back as he went forward.

_Do not go gentle into that good night._

Lance held his head a bit higher, rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes.

_Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

He was back, and he would not go gentle into that good night, he would push through, write his sorrows away, and pursue his dreams, he would prove to the world that he was not falling behind. Lance McClain was back, and when all was said and done, he’d see to it that the world knew his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to scream stuff at me @hauntedbyangels or @siruniwhale.tumblr.com is the place to be ;))
> 
> The poem I mention if you didn't know is called Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas it's about living boldly and fighting through life, even if means suffering, struggle even in the face of death. I thought it fit really well and I like the poem a lot, so yeah :)  
> Anywho,  
> Hope you enjoyed~


	14. Sunshine and Ocean Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everything is sunshine and rainbows, but maybe the universe will give them another chance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!

Seasons passed and hearts changed. By the time summer was arriving, Keith had almost completely melted out of Lance's life, his only thoughts of the other boy were ones that lingered in the deep cold of the winter. So as spring arrived and the warmth began to sink in, Lance no longer felt himself reaching back desperately for the comfort of someone who was no longer his. It was okay now, there was less bitterness surrounding his heart and he knew he could shoulder the fact that he had messed up. If he were to ever see Keith again, he would be able to apologize, even if it meant nothing after going so long without an attempt to reconnect. He had messed up, and in the process of protecting himself, he had managed to break his own heart as well as Keith's.

There had been days that left Lance knocked on his back, out of breath, missing Keith, but he had gotten through them, and that's what had been important.

Maybe the timing just hadn't been right between them, Lance hadn't been emotionally ready for another person to leave, and though he knew he had been in the wrong with the entire situation it hadn't stopped him from spitting poisonous words at Keith until he broke. He knew that he couldn't turn Keith into another line of sad poetry, so instead, he had poured himself into his other work, trying to forget what it felt like to hold Keith or taste the other boy on his lips. The timing had been wrong, his reactions had not been warranted and he wouldn't try to excuse the damage he had done.

Maybe he would get the chance to apologize someday, stars above, he hoped so. It was hard enough to have those failures weighing on his heart.

Pidge had said that maybe Lance should just call him and apologize, but that didn't sit right with Lance for some reason. He didn't want to interrupt Keith's new life with a call from someone whom he likely despised by now, he didn't want Keith to walk away from that call with a bitter taste in his mouth and doubts in his mind. When Lance apologized, he needed to know that he wasn't leaving any strings untied.

So he worked, he wrote, and he dreamed. Someday everything would be fixed. One day it wouldn't hurt any longer.

~

“A vacation?” Lance asked, cleaning out a mug as Allura nodded enthusiastically.

“I thought we could all get away, head to the coast for a bit to unwind this summer.” She said with a smile. “My uncle owns a mansion over there, and I was initially just going to invite Shiro but then I thought, maybe we should get the whole gang back together!”

Lance chewed on his lip thoughtfully. He really would love to get away for a bit, it would be a bit unbearable to be stranded in this town for the entire summer alone, especially if the invitation was up and all, he might as well take the offer, right?

“Pidge and Hunk too?”

“Of course, they’re included in ‘the whole gang’ part of things,”

“Isn’t that where Keith is?” Lance said, purposefully looking down and scrubbing the used mug with a bit more effort. He wasn’t against going, or even seeing Keith again, even if that meant an apology was in order, but he wasn’t going to let any of his friends trick him into catching Keith or him off guard.

“Yeah,” Allura said a bit quickly. “But he’s off doing his own thing, and he gets to be on the beach whenever he wants, so I doubt he’ll really be tagging along a whole lot… but if it makes you uncomfortable then I’m not pressuring you into joining us--but you might benefit from it.”

“I’ll think about it,” Lance smiled a bit weakly. Allura nodded in understanding and moved off to do her own job. He wondered who would run the little bakery without Allura around barking orders. He knew she had other employees (whom he had met and worked with) but she didn’t usually stray too far from her precious little shop.

“Does Keith know everyone’s going to visit?” Lance asked after a few minutes of silence, his mind still spinning on the idea.

“He knows that some of us might go over for the summer, yes,”

“And would you tell him if I was going?”

Allura shrugged. “It really depends, would you want us to inform him?”

“I wouldn’t care,” He lied. “I think I’ll take you up on the offer, though,”

“That’s great Lance!”

He nodded, finishing up the dishes and moving to wipe down the counters as his mind wandered to warm sun and shining oceans. A new adventure could do them all good, something to take their minds off of the world around them and who they once were.

~

Keith smiled, reading the messages from Pidge. They had gotten on the plane only a few hours before, and although they weren’t very enthusiastic about spending a boring four hours on a giant metal, flying tube, their messages were funny.

**_(11:23 A.M)_** **:** **_We’re landing_**

**_(11:23 A.M):_** **_fucking finally_**

**_(11:24 A.M): u better be ready to hug me for like five hours_ **

**_(11:24 A.M): I've missed my bro_ **

_(11:25 A.M): waiting for you guys outside of security :^)_

**_(11:25 A.M): wtf why the nose_ **

**_(11:26 A.M): where’d you learn such horrifying emoji tactics_ **

**_(11:26 A.M): not in my fckin house keith_ **

_(11:27 A.M): See you soon pigeon ;^)_

**_(11:30 A.M) im soooo tireddddd we got up so eearlly for this shit_ **

**_(11:30 A.M) u best be grateful young man._ **

Keith rolled his eyes, finally pocketing his phone as he waited. He wondered who all had decided to tag along, he knew that Allura could invite whomever she pleased seeing that the house they were staying in was the house she grew up in, and it was given to her and her uncle after her father had passed on. He was very much aware that she had invited Lance, amongst the others, he just wasn’t sure whether or not Lance had the guts to show up after every shit thing that had gone down between them.

He tapped his fingers nervously against his bare arms, he had made quite a name for himself at his new school, and he had even gotten a job since he had parted with his friends what felt like forever ago. He had met a lot of new people and had become quite an upstanding illustrator in his area. Keith had worked through his heartbreak and now when he thought back, he tried to remember those times for their good, rather than focusing on everything that had gone wrong.

_“Keith!”_ He heard Pidge yell, and a moment later, he felt the smaller human slam full force into him, snapping him out of his mind quite effectively.

“Hey!” Keith smiled, hugging his friend back tightly. “Stars, it feels like it’s been forever.”

Pidge pulled away, grinning at him with tired eyes. “How’s everything working out for you here?”

“Good,” He said. “Great actually.”

They punched his shoulder playfully. “I’m proud of you,”

“Thanks, buddy, it means a lot,”

It wasn’t long before Keith spotted Allura’s shining silvery hair amongst the crowd, or Shiro’s white tuft. What Keith hadn’t been looking forward to finding was a horribly familiar figure, with golden skin and ocean eyes. He had expected this, part of him had prepared to see Lance amongst the group that had come to visit, even if he hadn’t been quite convinced that Lance would actually come, but there he was, walking next to his best friend and smiling like the very sun was focused on him that day. Keith remembered that light of his more than anything else, he had remembered those eyes, that smile, and mostly that unfading light that glowed under Lance’s skin--even if he had begun to forget what Lance’s voice sounded like or what his lips tasted like.

Keith’s grip on Pidge’s arm was vice-like, and the must’ve noticed his gaze because they bumped his arm playfully and whispered. “You don’t have to talk to him, but play nice, please.”

“Sure, I already told Allura that it wouldn’t bother me if he came,” Keith said back, low enough so only Pidge heard as the rest of the group approached them.

“Good!” They said a bit louder, giving him another hug before letting him go as Shiro pulled his younger brother into a tight hug.

“Hey,” Keith said, hugging him back. A few more hugs went around the group, and Keith spared Lance a brief glance before going back to talking to Shiro and Allura about how his semester had gone. Hunk gave him a quick bear hug and a pat on the back as well when they all headed towards the door. Keith had driven over to pick them up in one of Coran’s (many?) minivans, though Allura took over when they had all loaded their luggage, deciding that she wanted to drive back, which forced Keith into the middle with Pidge, Hunk and Lance were in the very back as they drove back to the beach house.

Keith managed to avoid making eye contact with Lance for the entirety of the ride back, he tuned out their conversations and watched the landscape go by as he let his mind wander. They would be there for the next month, and then he could go back to his life as he had gotten used to it, without an ache sprouting in his chest whenever he caught a glimpse of Lance from the corner of his eye.

The others did their best to talk over the awkwardness between Keith and Lance, they had all seen this coming, it was inevitable seeing that they were put in the same vicinity after months of no contact and struggling through the hurt they had left each other with.

“So Keith,” Pidge started eventually, pulling his attention back to the conversation that was occurring around him. “Where do you suggest we go for dinner? I mean, we could picnic on the beach, or we could go somewhere that you like?”

Keith shrugged. “The beach is honestly really nice in the evening, if you want to go out I’d suggest going out for lunch, and there are some really reasonable and nice places to go,”

“We should make sandwiches and go to the beach,” Allura said. “I’ve missed this place quite a lot,”

Keith nodded mostly to himself, eyes wandering over to Shiro who was looking at Allura fondly as she drove. He noticed that they now both wore an engagement band, which he had heard about a bit from Shiro over text mostly, but hadn’t quite gotten the details of how or where Shiro had asked Allura to marry him. He had missed a lot since he had moved away. Part of him was sad that he had missed so much, then again, he had gotten so much further than he ever thought he would since he had gotten here.

"I am sooo ready to go swimming!" Lance said, rather loudly, from the backseat, startling Keith a bit. Hunk high-fived him as they started babbling about the ocean and pools and the sun. It was hard not to smile a bit at their enthusiasm. It was hard not to wince at his own enjoyment of having Lance in the same place as him again. He was done with that guy, he didn't want to go back to where they had been.

Keith took a deep, calming breath. He could make it through the next month just fine, nothing would go wrong, he wouldn't collapse, and he would not breakdown. He would take this month by the neck and beat the shit out of it if time tried to hurt him again. The stars had a plan, and he knew he had learned from his last mistakes, but if they tried to play him like that again, he would go through hell to stop fate before it broke him again.

It was fine, he was fine.

_You're doing good, you've got this_.

"So Keith," Lance started out of nowhere.

_I so don't got this._

"Yes?" He responded, glancing over his shoulder briefly. He knew his tone was cool and his look even colder, but he was trying to protect himself for star's sake!  

Lance looked like there was much more he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to ask about or even apologize for. Instead he simply asked: "How's school?" HIs voice a bit weaker. Keith shrugged.

"It's pretty great. How has your writing been going?" He cringed a bit at his own willingness to continue the conversation. His heart was pounding and his hand sweating but he continued to keep his voice even. Plus, small talk couldn't really hurt, could it?

"It's been alright, I started a blog,"

"That's cool,"

"Yeah," Lance shrugged. "It's mostly poetry and shit like that,"

"Do you have many followers?"

"A few,"

Keith nodded, noticing Pidge's quick look and smile of encouragement. He snapped his mouth shut, turning his attention back to the window. Hunk mentioned something about some engineering project that he and Pidge had been working on and that carried the conversation between them far away, which Keith was thankful for. His hands were still shaking.

~

Lance was having a grand time, despite the nervous pounding in his heart every time he looked at Keith. It was fine, really, except his head was spinning with things left unsaid which were slowly driving him further and further towards madness.

Sure, he was maybe being slightly too dramatic about the whole situation, but he could see how guarded Keith was and how every word spoken to him came out clipped and cold. Lance understood, but it was still hard to realize just how far they had fallen away from each other. This was nothing like the Keith he had known before, and part of him was terrified that he had somehow killed the Keith he had learned to love so much.

The beach house was incredible. When they finally arrived, Lance could hardly believe he was going to be staying there for the next month, he could hardly believe that _Keith_ had been staying there ever since he had left. The house was huge, and although Lance was half-convinced that Allura was royalty, he hadn't _quite_ been expecting her family to just own some random mansion on the beach--let alone refer to it as a simple vacation home.

"I always came here during the summer with my father," Allura was explaining to Shito as they brought their luggage through the entryway. Shiro was nodding, his expression impressed and a little bit shocked. Lance nudged his shoulder with a shit-eating grin.

"How does it feel to be marrying rich, buddy?" Lance asked. Shiro shoved him with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh shut up, I like Allura for a lot more than... all of this." He said, looking around the entryway, they hadn't even seen the full house and he was already a bit overwhelmed.

"You have to admit, this could be a major bonus, though," Lance waggled his eyebrows with a small smirk. Shiro nodded a bit absently.

"I'm not going to deny it..."

Lance chuckled as Allura shot him a look. He fell back to stand next to Hunk who was talking animatedly to Pidge and Keith.

"This is pretty cool," Lance said, nudging Hunk's shoulder.

"Yeah! Keith, you've gotten to live here?!"

Keith nodded. "It' pretty nice, and when Allura's uncle is pretty neat when he's here."

"My bro, living the high life," Pidge said, pretending to wipe a tear. "You've come so far,"

"Oh geez," Keith responded with a huff. "I spend most of my time in the city anyway,"

"You're living the high life, and yet, you're still wearing a fall out boy tank top," Pidge pointed out. Keith smiled a bit, shaking his head.

"I like it,"

"I could swear that you're a teenage girl at heart, my friend,"

Keith leaned on Pidge dramatically. "You've caught me! 'Tis true, I'm practically a teenaged girl, I too would scream if I saw Patrick Stump in the streets."

"You're so weird, I bet you still have a crush on Gerard Way as well,"

Keith shrugged. "Who doesn't?"

"Those of us who weren't huge emos in high school, maybe?" Lance put in casually. Keith looked over at him with a frown.

"Whatever,"

"Anywayyy," Pidge started, pushing Keith off of their shoulder. He stepped away from his friend, arms crossed as he looked away from Lance. Lance felt a twinge of hurt stab his heart as Keith turned away, mumbling something about showing them to where the guest rooms were. Allura had already pulled Shiro out of the entryway to show him around so it was about time for Keith to do the same. At least Keith seemed to think so.

Lance felt Hunk bump his shoulder a moment later as they walked behind Keith and Pidge, who were back to talking again, less enthusiastically, but having a conversation nonetheless, which was much better than Lance had received from Keith so far. Not that he expected warm treatment of any kind, but this felt so forced and tense, Lance sort of just wanted to curl up into a ball and hide.

"You alright?" Hunk asked quietly. Lance nodded. He wasn't feeling too hurt by all of this, slightly wounded--but like papercut wounded--it just stung a little bit. It stung because ultimately, Lance knew that it was his fault that it was tense and painful between the two of them.

"I'm good," He managed to say. Stars, he needed to apologize. He had an entire month ahead of him to build up the courage he might need, but he felt that the sooner he just asked to talk, the sooner everything would have a resolution, whether it was a good or bad one.

Hunk gave him a quick side-hug as they walked, and Lance was grateful that he had his best friend with him for all of this, it was what he needed most of all was to have someone by his side while he tried to figure out what he could possibly say to Keith.

The rooms were nice, and Lance was grateful to be able to dump all of his stuff into a room and flop onto the bed. Hunk and Pidge's rooms were both close, and there was a nice bathroom just across the hall, which they would have to share, but it was fine as long as Lance got up early enough to spend his usual amount of time in the bathroom. Lance breathed in the scent of the clean covers on the bed and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain himself. It had been confusing and awkward hour-and-a-half since they had arrived.

Someone was knocking on his door a few moments later, and Lance peeled himself off of the bed to find Pidge waiting outside of his door.

"Come on," They said, Lance frowned a bit. "I want food,"

"Okay, give me like, two seconds," Lance said, slipping back into his room to change into a pair of shorts and a blue and white striped tank top before making his way back to the hallway where Pidge and Hunk were waiting for him.

"Let's go,"

~

Lance was looking at him again. Keith could feel it. They were on the porch by the poolside eating lunch. Everyone was excited to just have a relaxing afternoon with food and company, which normally would be really nice if Keith couldn’t feel his ex-boyfriend’s gaze on him every thirty seconds. It was beginning to become slightly irritating, not that he would say anything.

It felt much easier to just continue to ignore Lance’s attention because it was something he had gotten over months ago and he really didn’t want to fall back to his pain and the destructive thoughts that had plagued his mind. He had gotten through this, he had followed his dreams, and now he had a degree, a job, and friends outside of the people that were around him now. He would always treasure the memories and the friendships he had made, but the people around him weren’t the only ones he could turn to anymore. He had carved out a place in the world for himself and he was glad he had done so. He didn’t regret leaving, he didn’t regret giving Lance up for what he had gained.

So why did it hurt?

Keith shook his head, biting down hard on his bottom lip. He wouldn't let this bother him. He was stronger than this.

"Not going to swim?" Shiro asked, sitting down next to Keith at the little table. Keith shrugged.

"I'm not in the mood to,"

Shiro nodded, giving Keith one of those looks that told him that Shiro was well aware of every thought that was running through Keith's head. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yep,"

"You sure?"

"I'm positive," Keith said. "I've had enough time to get over it, I'm done thinking about him,"

"Okay, well if you're okay--"

"I'm fine, go relax, idiot,"

Shiro smiled. He stood and walked over to where Allura was sitting to talk to his Fiancee, Keith smiled at them a bit absently, they were perfect for each other, and Keith couldn't be happier that his brother found someone so special to be with.

Keith glanced over at where Lance was, sitting by the pool, laughing at something Pidge had said. His eyes traveled along Lance's tan skin, his smile, his eyes--

Keith's attention snapped back to the book he had been flipping through immediately.

Stars, he was weak.

Keith swallowed down the urge to scream or yell or even look at the other boy. He had thought that this was done, they were done, and it was supposed to be for good. Isn't that what Lance had wanted? He had pushed Keith away violently enough to tell him that they were done. He hadn't even known quite what he had done wrong, only that Lance's reaction wasn't anything he had been expecting. He spent the first few months here still wondering if he could have done something to save what they had, and he had found his finger hovering over the keyboard or the call button far too many times during those first few months.

It had hurt. It still hurt sometimes--a dull ache that spread through his chest.

Lance was watching him again. He could feel it.

Keith stood abruptly and walked back into the house. He had work to finish, and if he were being honest he much rather do that than sit around feeling butthurt over something that was in the past.

Screw Lance to hell, screw it all. He wasn't going to go back to feeling hurt and desperate for some kind of sign that they might be okay. It just wasn't realistic.

Keith had a long month ahead of him.~

~

It was a relaxing afternoon if Lance put aside the fact that he couldn't help but continue to glance at Keith every few seconds.

What the fuck was wrong with him? And why couldn't he focus on anything else?

His glances didn't go unnoticed, because he could tell that Keith was getting more and more agitated while they were all sitting around the pool and he was sitting to the side, reading a book that Lance didn't recognize. Eventually, he knew that Keith looked over at him, whether to glare or tell Lance to piss off, he wasn't quite sure. As far as Lance could tell, Keith had been looking over for a solid moment or so before he stood up and disappeared into the house, rather abruptly to say the least.

Lance watched the other boy go, lips pursed into a small frown. Maybe it would have been better if Lance had just stayed back home. He knew that Keith had been aware that Lance had been invited along, but the other boy's reactions to having Lance within the same vicinity as him were less than welcoming.

Not that Lance could blame him at all, he could still taste the poison from the words he had spat on his tongue, and he could still see the tears welling in Keith's eyes and the hesitant step he had taken forwards as his eyes begged for Lance to calm down and just _listen._

But things hadn't gone according to plan that day, for either of them.

"I should apologize," Lance said softly after Keith disappeared from the poolside. Hunk nodded beside him.

"Yeah, but maybe wait until he cools down a bit," Hunk said, swishing his feet in the water absently. Lance smirked as he leaned over, cupping water in his hands before splashing it up into his best friend's face. Hunk sputtered as the water hit his face and stared at Lance with a look of pure

"I guess," Lance smirked as he leaned over, cupping water in his hands before splashing it up into his best friend's face. Hunk sputtered as the water hit his face and stared at Lance with a look of pure betrayal.

"Oh, it is _so_ on! _"_ Hunk reached for Lance, who dodged away, standing quickly and dancing around his friend's attacks. Hunk got up and charged Lance, grabbing for him to try and throw him into the pool. It was a full-out war zone by the time the other's realized what was going on.

"Pidge!" Lance screamed at his smaller friend. They raised an eyebrow in question. "Attack!"

Pidge rolled their eyes before standing up with a small smirk and running over. Instead of blocking Hunk, they ran full force into Lance, shoving him right into Hunk's reach.

"Say goodbye, buddy," Pidge cackled as Hunk caught Lance and lifted him up.

"No no _nooO!"_ Lance cried out. A moment later, Hunk easily tossed Lance straight into the deep end of the pool before turning to high five Pidge. They laughed as Lance broke the surface of the water, gasping for air as he flipped off his two friends.

"You'll pay for this, jerks!" Lance laughed.

"Sure, whenever you're ready, you'll know where to find us," Pidge said, turning to go sit down again. Despite what Lance expected, Hunk was merciless. He caught Pidge before they got too far, and a moment later--despite the yells of protest--Pidge was tossed into the pool beside Lance.

"Betrayal!" They screamed when they resurfaced. Hunk merely laughed before cannonballing into the pool, causing a wave to assault Lance and Pidge before they could do anything about it.

A moment later, they all burst into laughter.

~

It was probably only about twenty minutes since Keith had made his way inside before someone was yelling his name.

" _KEITH!"_ Pidge yelled. "I NEED BACKUP ASAP!"

He frowned, abandoning what he was working on in favor of walking to the top of the stairs to find Pidge soaking wet, standing by the door.

"What?" He asked, slightly perplexed.

"Lance and Hunk are ganging up on me, and I need to destroy them in this water fight!" Pidge said, their eyes ablaze with determination. Keith couldn't help as a small smiled tugged at his lips.

"If I remember correctly, there may or may not be some water guns in the garage..." He said with a shrug. Pidge's eyes glinted with mischief.

"What do you say, will you take up arms and fight beside me, brother?" Pidge asked with a mock salute.

"Hell yes, the day will be ours!" Keith cried, raising a fist jokingly before leaping down the stairs and gesturing for Pidge to follow him to the garage. It only took a few minutes for the friends to find two large super soakers and fill them up with ice cold water from the back hose. They proceeded to sneak back towards the porch with as much stealth as they could muster.

Pidge managed to do a full out roll as they made their way towards the open door, examining their surroundings very carefully as they made their way out of the door and behind some chairs for cover. Keith was next to them in an instant, peeking over the chairs towards where Hunk and Lance were sitting in the sun next to the pool, both already sopping wet, but laughing.

Keith's heart leaped a bit as Lance smiled like that, and all he wanted in that moment was revenge. Pure, unadulterated revenge on the other boy. Stars above, he was going to beat him in this war if it was the last thing he did.

Pidge nodded at him before charging out of their hiding spot, screaming a war cry at the top of their lungs. Keith heard Shiro swear loudly in surprise from where he and Allura were sitting, watching the events unfold. Keith followed a moment later, with less of a shout and more of a loud: _"YOU ARE_ SO _GOING DOWN, MOTHERFUCKERS!"_

Pidge cackled evilly as the two of them charged. Hunk screamed and Lance swore loudly as they tried to scramble up from where they were sitting to protect themselves. Pidge caught Hunk in the face with a large spurt of water. Lance, on the other hand, managed to dodge Keith's first shot and jump behind Hunk, using the other boy as a shield.

"Screw you!" Lance yelled, ducking behind Hunk--who was in the process of wiping water off of his face. He reached for a nearby bucket and filled it quickly with water as Keith and Pidge re-pumped their soakers, having ducked back behind the porch.

"We need a strategy," Pidge hissed at him. Keith nodded, peeking out at the other boys. Hunk was holding the bucket of water at ready while Lance was looking for anything he could use.

"Okay, this is what we're going to do..."

~

"Where did they go?" Lance whispered to Hunk. "Why aren't they attacking yet?"

Hunk shrugged, looking around the porch again. "I can't believe Pidge found water-guns!"

"I know! So unfair," Lance laughed. "And they managed to drag Keith into this war... we have to beat them!"

"Honestly, I'm a bit terrified of those two working together," Hunk shuddered, checking over his shoulder again, and then back to where Keith and Pidge had ducked down. "Those two could be coming up with _anything,_ "

Lance smiled to himself. "Yeah, they're both pretty smart,"

"Maybe I should have joined their team,"

"And abandon me? _Rude!"_ Lance scoffed. "We just have to outwit them."

"Yeah right,"

A moment later feet were padding against the ground and Lance looked up to see Pidge charging Hunk with an evil smile. Lance stepped back, letting Hunk ready to toss his bucket of water. He looked around for Keith, expecting the other boy to pop up out of nowhere. As Hunk tossed the water at Pidge, they managed to dodge easily around Hunk and spray Lance quite effectively.

"Shit!" Lance swore as the cold water his chest. Suddenly Keith was there, spraying Hunk and then pushing the larger boy effectively straight into the pool. Pidge cheered as Hunk tried to pull Keith with him but ultimately missed as Keith twisted away, focusing his attention on Lance and raising his water gun.

Lance screamed as Pidge shoved Lance right into Keith's line of fire, and a moment later, he was sprayed straight in the face. Pidge was cackling evilly beside him. Without hesitation, Lance grabbed Pidge by their arms and tossed them into the pool.

"NOOOO!" Was all he heard before a loud _splash!_

Lance barely had time to turn back to Keith before he felt the other boy's shoulder collide with his chest, sending Lance stumbling backward towards the pool. In a last-ditch effort, Lance grabbed at Keith's arm as he fell. He somehow managed to catch it and drag the other boy with him. The were both yelling curses incoherently until the water enveloped them after the fall.

Lance broke the water a moment later, sputtering. He found Keith a few feet away from him, scowling as he pushed his wet bangs out of his face.

They both froze a moment as their eyes met, only a few feet apart in the pool. Lance swallowed nervously, not quite sure what he should say or do.

Then, Keith started to laugh. Lance felt his eyes widen a bit before he followed suit, smiling and letting his laughter out uncontained and pure.

A moment later, Pidge and Hunk joined them. Pidge punched Lance's shoulder before they swam over to Keith and tried to push him under.

Everything was good in that moment, it felt right again. This was how it was supposed to always feel, with all of them laughing and having fun together--Shiro and Allura laughing with them even from a distance. There wasn't supposed to be so much pain and hurt between them, and watching Keith smile and laugh again after so many months made it so much clearer that they should have never had this terrible separation.

That moment was absolutely perfect, and Lance wanted nothing more than for it to last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dudes! I'm really excited about the next few chapters bc I get to write them while I'm looking at the ocean  
> Sorry again for the wait on this update, I've been hella overwhelmed lately w/school and stuff, but I am now on break and I'm escaping the icy hell of my homeland to chill on the beach and write some more B^)  
> Hope you all are doing well, and I promise this is going to be happy again. You all are literally the sweetest and best readers I could ask for, so thank you <3  
> If you want to scream stuff at me @siruniwhale or @hauntedbyangels.tumblr.com is the place to be ;^))


	15. Too Soon To Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my random coffee knowledge makes a guest appearance

The pool incident was closely followed by a group agreeance that maybe heading to the beach that night _wasn’t_ the greatest idea if there was even the slightest chance it might end up similar to what had already gone down. Instead, the beach was postponed until the next day after they all went to the aquarium that Pidge had had their eye on ever since they had started to plan the trip. As excited as Lance would normally be about a grand aquarium, he was just tired. That night after they had all eaten a nice dinner and chatted around the table, Lance just wanted to curl up into bed and never wake up.

Part of him knew that he was making progress, at least Keith wasn’t completely refusing to look him in the eye or addressing that the other boy was there anymore, but there was still a long way to go before he would be open to Lance apologizing.

It was fine if they were in the same room with the rest of their friends, it was slowly feeling less awkward, but Keith always made sure that he and Lance were never somewhere _alone_.

Which was completely understandable. Lance just had to find someway to get them alone eventually.

Still, the timing didn't feel right, and he didn’t want to push it.

He would act normal, he would joke, and he would hope for the best. Lance knew well that if he tried reaching out there was the possibility that he’d merely end up making it worse between them. Keith had _trusted_ him for heaven's sake, and trust wasn’t something that could be rebuilt overnight--or through some messed up way like being thrown into the pool by his ex-boyfriend and calling it good--life wasn’t _quite_ like that, even if it would be easier that way.

Lance kept running scenarios through his mind that night, should he apologize right before they left? Or early on to give Keith time? Stars above, there was certainly no easy way to approach the subject--no decisive way that might work to gain some kind of forgiveness. 

And, quite frankly, Lance was terrified.

He was scared that he was pouring all of this effort into finding a way to apologize only to have his mistake thrown bitterly back into his face. Sure, he didn't need everything to go perfect, he didn't need to 'win Keith back' or something, he just needed to know that his blunder--fatal,  _fatal_ blunder--could be forgiven.

In simple terms; he needed closure.

Keith deserved closure on whatever they had had as much as he did. A decisive knowledge of whether or not they could remain friends despite the hurt and the mistakes.

Lance didn't get much sleep that night. Even with exhaustion weighing him down, his mind just  _would not stop_.

Waking up the next morning to find his friends hadn't bothered to try to pull Lance along with them downtown was kind of... a relief. Normally he would always love to tag along and have fun, but something about that day just had him feeling heavy and a little bit lost.

Sure, playing it off would be easy, he had played off a lot of his insecurities in the past, there was no reason to stop now.

Still, pulling his heavy limbs out of bed in search of caffeine was difficult, and he was pretty sure the bags under his eyes were far from designer.

Lance groaned as he opened the door only to be greeted by the brightness of the hallway and the sunlight that was burning through the house steadily. He squinted, waiting for his eyes to adjust before trying to make his way to the kitchen through the maze that Allura referred to as a mere 'beach house', it was more like a 'beach castle'. 

"Sandcastle!" Lance said--rather loudly--to himself. A small smile on his face. "Princess Allura's Sandcastle,"

"What?" Another voice asked, suddenly all too close to Lance, who hadn't even bothered to wonder if someone else had stayed behind. 

Keith. Of course, it had to be Keith.

Lance gave the other boy a weak shrug. "It's... nothing, just a dumb epiphany, I guess."

"Okay," Keith looked almost as exhausted as Lance felt, so he let any attempt at conversation drop and completed the walk back to the dining room and kitchen in silence. In all honesty, Lance normally wouldn't have let the other boy's tiredness shut him up, but something just felt... off about Keith that morning, just by standing near him.

All Lance could come up with was that it was probably his fault somehow, so he should find coffee and retreat to his room as quickly as possible. He should focus on editing at least a little bit during the vacation, and no better time to  _suddenly have work_ than when the silence between them was reaching downright unbearable.

"So..." Lance started. He almost stopped when Keith visibly stopped what he was doing to look directly at Lance, waiting. "No aquarium for you today?"

"Shouldn't that be my question?"

"Ehhhhh," Lance shrugged, trying to find something else in the kitchen to do. "Coffee?"

"I was just about to make some?"

"Right, _Nice,_ cool beans mi amigo," His voice felt strained. 

It was when Keith dug around in the cupboard for a second only to pull out  _instant_ coffee was when Lance lost his shit.

"INstant CoFFeE?" To give Keith credit, he didn't stop what he was doing at Lance's seemingly distressed and mortified tone.

"Yes."

"Oh no, nonononono,  _Keith!"_

Keith huffed, slamming the container against the counter before glaring over his shoulder at Lance. " _What?"_

"You cannot be serious, I will not tolerate your newly learned shitty coffee habits! Coffee is an  _art,_ not some shit in a cup of hot water, you've gotta make it  _right."_

"Lance--"

It was too late, Lance was already in the kitchen, rummaging around for anything that he could make  _real_ coffee with. Eventually, he found the contraption he was looking for and pulled it out from the cabinet. "Stars Keith, Coran has a Chemex, so use it!"

"Uh... what?"

Lance set it on the counter and went to heat water before looking around the kitchen until he found where the coffee grinder was. "Do you know where the coffee beans are kept?"

"Second cabinet on the right--"

"Why the fuck does he even own instant coffee when he has all of the right supplies?"

"I bought the instant, Stars, Lance, I didn't want to have to figure out how to use that glass thingy,"

"I'm offended, it's called a Chemex, would you like me to spell it out for you?"

Keith merely glowered at him, leaning back against the counter. "Fine, show me your ways, dickhead."

"I will,"

The next twenty minutes went by rather smoothly as Lance showed Keith how to set the filter into the Chemex, use the coffee grinder, and how to make pour over coffee for himself. After his initial fiery hate that he showed Lance for butting in, Keith started to warm up to the idea of learning and paid surprisingly close attention to what Lance was saying.

And there it was again, that  _feeling._ The feeling that everything was right--normal between them.

It was good.

~

It hurt.

Watching that boy prance around the kitchen with light in his eyes--discreet passions that no one quite knew until he found a reason to flaunt what he loved. Keith tried his best to pull away, to roll his eyes as Lance started to boil water and set up the weird paper funnel-like filter and rant about 'releasing the true taste of coffee' or whatever. It didn't matter what he was ranting about when his eyes were sparkling, and with every smile or word, it felt like he was trying to tug Keith back into that moment.

It worked.

He was weak, and it worked. He found himself smirking as Lance was showing him how carefully to pour the water over the coffee grounds, step back, wait, repeat.

"This seems like a lot of work for a cup of coffee," Keith commented eventually.

"It'll be worth it,"

"Whatever you say,"

Lance smiled at him, and as hesitant as it was, at least it was real.

Keith took a step back, his mind racing. "Uh, I'll be right back," He managed to choke out before slipping out of the kitchen without another word. 

It hurt.

It hurt how clear it was that there was something so undeniably broken between them.

Keith made his way to the nearest bathroom so he could just  _breathe_.

He didn't know how to fix what had died between them, he didn't know if he  _shoul_ _d_ try to fix it.

_Dammit, Keith, keep your shit together. It's only the second day of this hell month._

~

Lance poured his finished product into two mugs and sat down at the counter, nursing the freshly brewed coffee. It had been about five minutes since Keith had disappeared, and Lance couldn't say that he blamed the other boy for slipping away. Lance didn't quite know what to do either when they were together.

_We're alone, I could say something._

It was too soon, wasn't it? He was scared that he would try to say something and just freeze. Rejection was far from his favorite activity, and he wasn't ready.

_You've had months to think of something to say._

Months in which he had tried his hardest not to drown in regret over what he had said--how downright horrible he had been.

"Hey,"

Lance flinched, snapping out of his thoughts suddenly. Instead of meriting Keith with a verbal response, he simply slid the other mug across the counter to him before returning his gaze to the large window nearby. The sun was still shining, even if there was a violent storm of feelings brewing between the two boys.

He knew that he should say something, but every time he thought of something to say he felt too out of breath to utter a single word. So he remained silent, which was entirely odd for him. Keith was fidgeting across the counter, obviously expecting Lance to start a conversation if there was going to be one.

"So," Keith managed to say after a while of silence passed. "Sleep well?"

Lance shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee. "Not really, what about you?"

"What is sleep?" Keith said with a small, shy smile.

"Sleep if for the weak!" Lance replied.

"Hell yea!"

They both smiled for a moment before reality took over again, Keith looked away, smile fading.

How the hell were they supposed to fix this?

"Uh, Keith?" Lance finally started, feeling his lungs tighten and his heart squeezed a bit. Here went nothing.

"Mhm?"

"Are you... happy here?" Lance asked.

Keith didn't look over at him. "I think so,"

"Good, I'm glad..." 

"Why?" Gray-violet eyes fixed on him. There wasn't anger in those eyes, he looked so unguarded in that moment. Shit, shit, shit, Lance gulped down his nervousness.

"Uh, I was really _r_ _eally_ out of line when you told me you were leaving and I reacted horribly. It really wasn't fair to you. I fucked up really badly and I understand if you hate me and... I don't know," Lance had to look away, trying to quell the burning in his eyes. "I just wanted to say sorry."

Silence.

Lance couldn't bring himself to look at Keith, instead, he focused on the patterns in the marble counter. 

_Shit, don't cry._

Keith was looking at him, he could feel it. Lance took a deep breath, trying to calm the pounding in his heart.

"What the fuck," Keith whispered. Lance's attention snapped to him, and stars above, his heart plummeted at how vulnerable and hurt Keith still looked.

"Sorry--"

"It's been months, Lance, you can't just show up and--"

"Keith, I'm so sorry, just please listen--"

" _Stop!"_

Lance winced. This had been a bad idea ever since he had agreed to go along with this whole vacation. Keith had his arms crossed tightly around himself as if it would protect him from whatever else Lance could say.

"Sorry," Lance whispered again, pulling away from the counter. He should have just left the gap between them, it would have been easier than this.

~

It hurt.

"You couldn't have just called to say this?" Keith bit out, watching as Lance pulled away. "I could have used an apology months ago when I was crying myself to sleep because of the mere thought of you?"

Lance wouldn't meet his eyes.

It hurt, they were so goddamn broken, and all Keith could feel was blinding anger.

"I'm sorry,"

" _S_ _top apologizing,"_

He could see how terrified Lance was, he had poured out the apology with hopes that everything would be fine. But it wasn't fine, it couldn't be fine with the way Lance had so readily dumped him when the slightest inconvieniance had presented itself. He knew he could hurt Lance, the bitterness that flooded him almost had him spitting every venomous w thought he had ever had about the other boy, but he stopped. 

There were tears shining in Lance's eyes, and his eyes said that he was trying to take back everything he had said. He had opened up for Keith, he had put himself at risk of being hurt because he just  _needed_ Keith to know that he regretted the things he had said. Those words had hurt Lance as much as they had hurt Keith.

Keith shook his head, tears finally filling his eyes. Lance was such an idiot sometimes.

"I just--I'm sorry--Goddamnit," Lance hadn't bothered to try to hide the fact that he was on the verge of breaking. Keith could break him in an instant with the right words, and they both knew it. "I messed up, okay? I made a mistake--"

_"You broke my fucking heart, Lance!"_ Keith snapped, tears falling freely.

"Yeah, well I broke mine too," Lance whispered. He looked incredibly small in that moment. "Two birds with one stone, am I right?"

"Lance--"

"And I missed you too, ya know? Every day I missed you,"

"Please stop,"

"I couldn't even drink myself into an oblivion where you weren't there, everything I love had some remnant of you in it and I couldn't stop the pain of it."

Keith stood, ready to leave, ready to just run and never stop running. He hadn't asked to face this 

"I'm sorry, I am  _so_ sorry," Lance's voice broke completely. He heaved for breath through the tears, and Keith couldn't help but break with him.

"Why didn't you just call? Lance, you had months to make this better, why did you wait?" Keith asked, stepping towards the other boy.

Lance, in turn, took a step away. "It didn't feel right to just call you,"

"It would have been easier..."

"Yeah, but easy doesn't mean _right_."

Keith sighed, wiping away the tears that he had neglected. "I promised myself that I was over you,"

Lance shrugged, avoiding eyecontact again. "I just wanted to apologize, you can still be over me,"

"I know,"

"Yeah?"

Keith couldn't stop himself from surging forward, pulling Lance against him in a tight hug. Lance tensed up for a moment before slipping his arms around Keith and pulling him closer. "I still kinda hate you," Keith whispered against Lance's shoulder.

"That's valid."

It was hard to stop crying after that. Tears of relief, hurt, and a bit of happiness mixed in with the hug. Neither bothered to notice how long they stood there, embracing each other, but it didn't grow awkward or uncomfortable, so it must have been alright.

"Uh, Keith?" Lance whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Are we gonna be okay?"

It was a hard question to answer, but Keith squeezed his friend a little tighter. "I think it's too soon to say," Lance nodded, pressing a bit closer as Keith sniffled. 

"I think it'll work out,"

"I hope so,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, friendos! Hope you enjoyed this chapter:^)
> 
> *hands over tissue box* don't worry, I needed those too
> 
> If you want to scream at me @hauntedbyangels.tumblr.com or @siruniwhale is the place to be


	16. Bittersweet

Their friends came back to the house a bit after lunch, and everyone noticed the slight change between Keith and Lance's demeanors. They were both sat at the dining room table, Keith focused on drawing and Lance typing feverishly into his laptop. They both had empty mugs of coffee and had made sandwiches at one point or another, but what the others seemed to notice was that Keith and Lance were in the same room. They had been talking, at least the others hoped that they had been talking. Keith could see the worry in his brother's eyes when he got back. Lance still looked a bit tired, his eyes slightly red from crying, Keith was sure he didn't look too much better, luckily he felt a bit better.

Judging by how bright Lance's smile was, he didn't feel too horrible either.

Which was good. As far as Keith was concerned, he didn't want their bitter feelings to cloud their vision anymore. Maybe they would never have what they once had, but at least the could forgive each other. 

Keith was still focused on his screen as he drew when the others found Lance and him chilling in the dining room. Shiro shot him a slightly concerned look and Pidge seemed more than happy to smirk at Keith and bounce their eyebrows suggestively whenever they met his eyes. Lance was back to smiling and joking with his friends as soon as they were back, the tiredness and tears were suddenly forgotten as Pidge told him all about the giant sea turtle that had high-five them through the glass. Pictures were shared and the mood of the room was lighter than it had been since they had arrived. It was nice. 

That was how Pidge ended up convincing Keith to follow them to the beach. 

"Since we're all friends again and all," They started. Keith rolled his eyes and Lance smiled a bit sheepishly. "I propose that we all go to the beach,"

Keith pulled away from the idea almost immediately. "I have a lot of work I want to finish," He started.

" _KEith!"_ Pidge squawked. "You  _cannot_ abandon me!"

"Pidge--"

"No, if Lance and Hunk gang up on me I need you to help me put them in the ground!" Pidge hissed.

"I'm sure Shiro or Allura would--"

"I can't trust them to always have my back, you're my buddy, my right-hand man,"  

Keith sighed. "You plan to start something, don't you?"

Their eyes twinkled with mischief. _"_ _Maybe,"_

"Fine, but you owe me,"

Pidge rolled their eyes. "Just come along, you'll have fun, plus, we're only going to be here for so long before we have to go back to our lives."

"I know,"

Pidge walked away, leaving Keith to stare at his screen with emotions swirling within him. He hated this feeling, knowing that he only had so much time before they would be gone again, and he would be here, living out his dream on a different path than the people he really wanted to be with. 

_Am I happy here?_

Keith sighed, saving his project before standing to stretch. Lance was still aggressively writing something in his notebook, earbuds in and oblivious to the world around him. He was so goddamn pretty, sitting in the sunlight that filtered through the windows, focused on whatever words he needed to get down. Keith paused to stare, knowing that it would go unnoticed in the grand scheme of things.

_Are we going to be okay?_

Keith didn't know yet, he still felt an ever-present ache in his chest when he looked at Lance. Maybe he was still angry, maybe he was still hurt.

Or maybe he just missed the other boy that much. Stars above, why could nothing ever be  _simple?_

_"Lance!"_ Pidge yelled. Lance's head snapped up and Keith looked away quickly. " _Are you coming?"_

" _Gimme one goddamn second to finish this Pidge!"_ Lance yelled back with a bewildered frown. He gave Keith a quick look before going back to whatever he was writing down. Keith managed to turn away and walk out of the dining room. He needed to gather a few things before they all headed off to the beach anyway. 

~

The beach was relatively crowded but not as bad as it could be when the group got there. They managed to scope out a nice spot to set out their towels and umbrella that was relatively close to where they had parked. Keith claimed a spot under the umbrella immediately, setting his bag down on his towel before letting out a yawn. Once the others had set down their towels, Lance and Pidge were already racing towards the oncoming waves and splashing each other moments later.

Hunk laughed but elected not to follow as he set out his towel and laid in the sun. Shiro and Allura were sitting nearby, absorbing sunlight. Keith smiled. He was happy to be with his friends, and this was nice, warm, and relatively uncrowded for how bad it got some days.

There was a bit of yelling from where Lance and Pidge were fighting when Lance picked Pidge up and threw them into deeper water. Keith chuckled as Pidge cursed at Lance before trying to drag him under water. Those two were ridiculous, endearing, but ridiculous.

Keith opened the book he brought and started to read, avoiding the sun by sitting under the umbrella. Even after living there for the past months, Keith was still pretty pale and didn't want to burn his skin off for the sake of a beach day.

Eventually, Hunk got up and walked over to where Lance and Pidge were. They had stopped fighting in favor of building a sand castle. It was cute. Pidge kept trying to take over so that the sand castle would stay supported and strong enough to be built even higher while Lance collected sea shells to decorate it with. Hunk started to help build it, and their goal became to make it as large as possible while remaining stable. 

"You should join them," Shiro said, nudging Keith to get his attention. Keith looked up from his book.

"I think they've got it handled. Two engineers and Lance decorating it should be enough,"

"Keith,"

Keith huffed loudly, setting his book down and standing up. Shiro chuckled as Keith made his way over to where the three friends were debating where to go next with the castle. It was only about two feet off the ground, but the base of it was large enough to suggest that if they got far enough it would be one beast of a castle. Keith sat down next to them and pointed out a few spots where the sand was cracking.

"Dude, thanks, we gotta patch that up before it gets any bigger," Hunk said, cupping some damp sand in his hands and going over the weaker spots.

"Help me find shells!" Lance called over. "We gotta make it look awesome,"

Keith nodded, wandering over to help Lance wade through the water, looking for nice shells. "What kind of shells are you going for?" Keith asked as he bent over, searching along the shallow parts for colorful and full shells. 

"Anything that'll look nice stuck to sand," Lance said, bent over with his arms in the water. The pockets of his swim trunks already stuffed with shells. Keith nodded absently, trying to focus on looking for shells rather than the fact that Lance was so close, and shirtless, and covered in sweat.  _He's... so... pretty._

_Shut up, brain._

 

"Any luck?" Lance asked, suddenly a bit closer than Keith had thought he was. Keith stumbled back a bit, nodding quickly. 

"Yeah, of course," Keith scrambled to show Lance some of the shells he had found so far.

"Those are nice!" Lance said with a smile. Keith looked away. This was so fucking weird, hanging out with Lance at the beach after they fought and hurt each other and made it seem like they might never be close again. It was so goddamn unusual--so  _normal._

So why did he like it so much?

_Please drown me, this is way too confusing._

~

The sand castle came along rather nicely. It was only about a foot shorter than Pidge by the time they were finished. Keith and Lance had decorated it with the shells they found, creating patterns on the sand with all of the colors they had gotten their hands on. It was nice, and by the time they were done, Keith decided that he was having fun, that it didn't matter what was going on between him and Lance, not if they could put that aside to just smile and have a good day.

Once they were finished, Shiro took a picture of the four of them in front of it. It was a good picture. Keith was smiling, Pidge was laying on their side in front of the castle looking 'fabulous' and Hunk and Lance flashing peace signs on either side of the castle. Shiro posted it on facebook and tagged all of them like the old man he was. 

They decided to leave the castle up for some asshole kids to eventually find and stomp on. 

The group decided to stay and have a picnic on the beach for dinner. Waiting for the sun to go down. They still had an hour or two of daylight so Hunk decided it would be a good idea to bury Pidge in the sand to waste some time before their picnic. It was funny watching Pidge climb into the hole and be buried up to their neck in sand. When people walked by they would yell things at them in their lovable, asshole way.

Shiro and Allura decided to try to get some surfing in, which left Lance and Keith to sit on the blanket in the sun. It could have been a lot more awkward, but after that morning, after the apologies and the crying, it was surprisingly comfortable between them.

"Wanna go for a walk or something?" Lance eventually asked, a small smile on his face. Keith shrugged. 

"Sure, the pier sometimes sells ice cream during the afternoon,"

"Sound like a good cause to walk over there," Lance responded.

Keith nodded in agreeance, something in his stomach fluttering a bit as Lance held out a hand to help Keith up from the blanket. He took the hand and stood, walking beside Lance.

"We'll be back!" Lance called over to Hunk and Pidge, they both merely gave each other a look before waving.

Keith rolled his eyes, looking away from their friends. He knew that they were thinking something far from innocent about Lance and Keith walking off alone. As if anything was going to happen, they were barely even friends again.

 The walk was nice though, the water cool on their feet as they walked along the shore together. Lance kept chasing seagulls or getting excited by the sea life around them. Keith was used to it but smiled nonetheless at Lance's enthusiasm when there was a crab on the beach or anything else. He was happy that Lance was enjoying the beach, after their morning, they deserved to have a little fun. 

Keith just had to keep telling himself that this was fine, that they could be friends again, that whatever pain still stirred in his chest was meaningless.

They had merely fallen too fast all of those months ago, they had thought it could last with no proof that they were even remotely good for each other. Sure, it had hurt, but they would be okay, they  _had_ to be okay.

Keith had missed this friendship far too much not to be okay.

They made it to the pier, and Lance bought ice cream for him, regardless of how much he argued and wanted to pay for himself. 

"Think of it as a bonus apology," Lance had said with a sweet smile, leaving Keith's mouth dry and his heart thundering.

"Fine," Keith said weakly, accepting the ice cream cone. "But next time I buy,"

Lance laughed. "Whatever makes you feel better,"

They walked back as they ate, and it was fine. It felt good, it felt normal.

The rest of the day passed quickly, a picnic on the beach, watching the sun set in a startling array of colors, and heading back to the house. Keith felt light and happier than he had in awhile, even if there was a constant underlying sense of sadness and panic that accompanied him that day. He only had so long until his friends left again. Would Lance even bother to call again? Or was this visit all that Keith got?

He thought about those things in bed that night, fear bubbling up in him far more than it should have.

The feeling was bittersweet. He knew that he had gained a friendship back that he had missed so much over those horrible months he spent alone, but once they left, would he only miss it more?

Keith rolled over, squeezing his eyes tight.

All he could do was enjoy the time he had been given, and he would try his best to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friendos! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!  
> It was kind of just a transition after that argument/apology, so yeah, more to come!
> 
> If you want to scream at me @hauntedbyangels.tumblr.com or @siruniwhale are the places to be ;^)


	17. Lights Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, this took soo long,,  
> it's been a rough month. :/

The next few weeks of the visit passed in a blur of vibrant colors and fluctuating feelings. The atmosphere of the grand house on the coast had grown familiar and comfortable to Lance. With his friends surrounding him and the sun beaming down on them, it felt like somewhere he could call home.  

Which only made reality much harder to swallow. 

As the final few days of their visit approached, Lance found himself terrified to leave. He loved it here. He loved the air and the frequent visits to the ocean, he loved the taste of salt on his lips and the heat of the sun against his skin. He loved the close companionship he felt with all of his friends as they wandered the city or lounged by the pool. Most importantly, he loved seeing Keith again. 

Keith with his shy but vibrant smiles, Keith who spent more time in the sun than the rest of them but was still as pale and see-through as the holy ghost. Lance loved seeing the other boy like this, happy and content with this place and his work. 

Then it would hit Lance like a punch to the stomach that he was not a part of Keith's world anymore. That this home Keith had wasn't by any means something Lance would be able to share with him. That here, where Keith had dug out a place for himself, was a place where Lance meant nothing to him.

They were friends again, sure, but sometimes the silence between them stretched a bit too long to be comfortable, and the furtive looks felt too raw and intimate to truly belong.

It hurt, but not because Keith was doing anything wrong, mostly because Lance knew that he had tried to fix what was broken between them, but if he was being real, he couldn't fix something that had shattered into a million fucking pieces when Lance had broken Keith's heart.

When he had broken his own heart in the same fell swoop.

Two birds with one stone, right?

"So fucking stupid," He murmured to himself, tapping away at his keyboard while his mind wandered. It was raining that day, and while everyone else decided it was a good day to relax, Lance felt even more on edge with every passing minute. He felt trapped and cooped up in his room with a laptop and his notepad. Nothing he wrote was working, it all felt dull and forced. At this rate, he'd never finish editing. 

Which sucked ass because he was  _so goddamn_ _close_ to finishing this damn novel but one page of nonsense and rewritten mania stood in his way. It was incredibly frustrating. 

A frustrated groan escaped Lance as he flopped back onto his bed. He couldn't stand the swirling storm of thoughts and tangents that kept distracting him from the work that  _actually_ needed to be done. He hated feeling so helpless to his emotions like they were taking over his body and forcing him into a puppet act that was so incredibly far from how he actually felt, but he was good at acting, his mask was unreadable and nobody ever knew when he was suffering unless he wanted them to know. 

A soft knock on his door interrupted Lance's despair. He sighed heavily before standing up and moving to the door. He opened it to find a very dishelved-looking Pidge.

"Did you just wake up there, Pidgeon?" Lance asked, a small hint of humor in his voice. Pidge pouted a bit but nodded.

"Keith and I got back late last night from some stupid-ass club that his friend was having a party at... I didn't even know he  _had_ friends!"

Lance laughed.

"Also those assholes didn't leave me any coffee this morning, so I'm here to beg for your assistance," Pidge mumbled tiredly. Lance nodded in agreeance. 

"That _was_ an asshole move, I'll take your case, Pigeon."

"Bless,"

The two friends made their way down to the kitchen, rain spattering the windows and thunder dampening the normal lightness that the house possessed. Keith was chilling at the island in the kitchen when Lance and Pidge walked in. Pidge plopped down next to Keith and started chatting while Lance went straight to making coffee without sparing Keith so much as a glance, he really wasn't in the mood to play nice right then.

Keith really didn't seem to notice Lance's standoffishness that morning, which he was thankful for, it would take too much to explain everything he was feeling in that moment. So decidedly, it was a day to keep his distance from the other boy, Lance made coffee for Pidge, poured himself a mug, and retreated back to his room without a word, which was probably more worrying than the distance he was attempting to keep.

In the safety of his room, Lance let himself lay back and stare at the ceiling in an attempt to sort through the swirl of ugly emotions flooding his lungs. As much as there was a raging storm outside his window, the storm brewing inside seemed so much worse.

But what the hell was he supposed to do?

~

Keith stared at the counter tiredly, hardly noticing as Lance came and went from the kitchen without a word. Instead, his thoughts were focused on the gloom he felt in his own heart. His friends were leaving in a few days and once they were gone he'd be left here with the job he had found and the people he had met, but still ultimately  _alone._

It didn't sit well with him. Sure, when Keith had moved away he knew he was going to miss his friends, but the new opportunities that had surrounded him were enough to distract him from the heartache of leaving his favorite people behind... but now they were here again, and once they left there would be nothing to distract him from how much he missed them. Every time Keith had thought about the bakery and the path by the river in the months he had been gone, he tried to remind himself how much he hated that town, the town where nothing was ever new, the town where nothing beautiful had grown in the many years he had lived there.

To hell with that, something had grown there, he had made more meaningful friendships in that dead-ass town than he ever would in the city by the beach. He missed the cool autumn days and the snow, he missed the small pastel bakery and his apartment. He missed seeing his friends wherever he went. Keith missed library days with Pidge and walks with Shiro, and talks with Allura. He missed pizza and game night with Hunk and Lance. Still, he kept telling himself that he hated that place, and like the pathetic mess he was, Keith couldn't stop lying to himself about that place.

He supposed after enough heartbreak that place had seemed dull, but he didn't realize just how alive it had been until he found himself in a city that was at best apathetic towards him. Keith knew that he had thought getting away would be so much better, he thought that if he got a better education and maybe a new boyfriend he would be happy.

Life didn't work like that apparently.

Keith barely registered Pidge asking him if he was okay as he stood up, nodding distantly. "I'm fine," He responded tiredly before making his way out of the kitchen and towards his room. 

_Go talk to Lance._ His mind whispered gently.  _Work things out, you know you miss him._

Keith shook his head as he climbed the stairs, he knew he could just take a right and be outside of Lance's room rather than heading to his own, but that was a bad idea. Lance didn't want to see him. Sure, the other boy had apologized, and they were better, but as much as Keith wanted everything to just be okay with them, it still  _wasn't._

He groaned softly, leaning against the stairway wall. Why did life have to be so _messy_ _?_   

Even if he  _did_ go to Lance, what would he even say? It didn't seem right to just want him back without an explanation besides the daunting reality that Keith was about to lose him again in a few days time. Was it enough of an excuse to say that the idea of watching Lance walk away  _terrified_ him?

Before Keith really knew what he was doing, he was outside of the guestroom in which Lance was staying, ready to knock but not quite finding the courage to actually go through with it. A few deep breaths later, Keith knocked on the door, hoping to the stars that they would at least give him this.

~

Lance opened his eyes and turned his head towards the door grumpily if it was Pidge asking for more coffee already he was going to fucking scream. He rolled off of the bed not-so-gracefully and opened the door with a glare. It faded instantly when he found Keith, eyes on the ground, and looking frazzled. Should he be concerned? Lance wasn't sure, but there was certainly a reason why Lance hadn't wanted to talk to the other boy today. Hell, he felt on edge just meeting Keith's gray-violet eyes. The storm outside was as violent as Lance's emotions and the thought that he might lash out again terrified him to no end.

"Uh, hey Keith," Lance started, voice strained. "This isn't really a great time--"

"Oh, right," Keith said, voice so weak and disappointed it made Lance's gut twist with guilt, "Sorry, I... I'll leave,"

"Wait," Lance blurted, reaching for Keith's arm to stop him from walking away. "You... why don't you come in, you seem really upset,"

The other boy didn't say anything, he just nodded a bit and followed Lance back into the room. Lance plopped himself on the bed, moving his laptop, manuscript, and scattered notebooks to make room for Keith to sit. He was hesitant if anything, but eventually, Keith dropped onto the bed next to Lance, sighing heavily.

"What's up?" Lance asked, leaning against the headboard to keep as much room as possible between the two of them. 

Keith shrugged absently, his eyes trained on the comforter rather than Lance. "I'm just confused,"

"How so?"

"I thought coming here would fix all of these problems that I kept running into back home, but..."

"But what?" 

Keith sighed again, long and desolate. "I hate it here,"

Lance frowned, eyes narrowing on Keith. "You have everything you've ever wanted here, Keith,"

"I know,"

"So how the fuck can you possibly hate it?"

Another shrug.

Lance let out a frustrated huff. "You left  _everyone_ behind for this place, for all of the 'opportunities' this place presented, and now you're saying that you don't like your decision?"

"Yes..."

"You're such a fucking idiot, Keith."

"I know," He whispered curling in on himself even more. "I don't like being here without you guys, and now you're leaving, and _I_ _don't know what to do,_ "

"It was your own choice to come here,"

"Yeah,  _I know,_ "

"It's your choice if you stay here," Lance finally found Keith's eyes with his own. "You could come back with us," 

Keith bit his bottom lip indecisively. "I should be happy here,"

"Sure, but that doesn't mean shit if you aren't,"

" _Ugh!"_ Keith groaned, flopping onto the bed and staring at the ceiling. "I thought I ruined everything between us by moving here, ya know? I thought it was my fault, and maybe I didn't deserve to be happy if it meant hurting you," There were tears burning Keith's eyes by then. "I thought that if you had been happy about me coming here, I would have been happy too, but I wasn't, and I blamed you. Sure, it wasn't fair, because even if everything had been okay between us, I know I still wouldn't be happy but it would be so much  _easier_ to just come back home." 

"Nothing is stopping you from coming back--"

"Yes, there is! Because every time I look around or walk by the bakery something will feel  _wrong_ because I wanted to share everything in that place with  _you_ and now we're so broken--it hurts so  _goddamn much!"_

Lance scooted across the bed and grabbed Keith's arm so the other boy would look at him. "We're not broken, we can fix this,"

Keith scoffed. "Do you really believe that?"

"Yes, and if you need to come back, then just do it for star's sake, I was waiting, I thought you were going to visit, but Shiro said you wouldn't text him back and Pidge couldn't bring you back either, I wanted to see you before now but every time I tried to send you something I knew you wouldn't want to hear from me, so I was just waiting, and I'm willing to wait for you again, I _want this._ "

"Why? All we've done is cause each other pain Lance, we didn't even last for a month--"

"Because I fell in _love_ with you, okay?" Lance broke right there and right then, the storm coming out in harsh sobs as he gripped onto Keith as if it would keep him from pulling away. "I'm in love with you, you idiot."

"Lance--"

"Stop, I know you think we can't fix t-this, but we c-can," The tears were coming faster now, and every breath was pained and hurt so fucking bad. Before Lance knew what was happening, Keith was pulling him down and crushing their lips together. 

Stars above, even through the tears it felt so good and so  _right._

Lightning flashed beyond the curtains and suddenly there was a small  _pop!_ before the lights went out completely. 

The darkness was filled with laughter as Keith broke the kiss.

"Our lives are so fucking ridiculous," He murmured, resting his head against Lance tiredly.

"Yeah," Lance whispered, holding Keith close. "Just a little bit,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(┐「ε:)_♡


	18. Dedications (All Things Must End)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry this took so long,  
> I am sad and excited to announce that this is the last chapter!  
> Enjoy!

The power outage didn't even last an hour, in that time all Keith and Lance managed to do was make out desperately and cuddle on Lance's bed. It felt right. Every time doubts started to bubble up in Lance's mind he kept reminding himself that it felt right, and hell, that was enough for him. He missed the way that Keith melted under his touch, the way that his tongue felt brushing against his own, he missed the warmth between them. Lance pulled Keith a bit closer, breathing him in again, stars above, he had missed everything about Keith so goddamn much.

They both jumped when there was a small  _pop!_ and the electricity shot back on suddenly. Keith sighed softly, sitting up a bit tiredly and stretching. Lance followed suit, wrapping his arms around Keith's waist possessively and dropping his head onto his boyfriend's shoulder. Boyfriend. Yeah, he had one of those again, and he wasn't going to let Keith go this time.

"We should probably see what the others are planning for dinner," Keith sighed, leaning back into Lance's warmth.

"Sure," 

"I don't want you to go,"

Lance nodded against his boyfriend's shoulder sadly. "Me too, but we'll keep in touch,"

"I know,"

~ 

The time they had left passed in a blur, and frankly, it hurt when Lance left along with the rest of Keith's friends, and before he knew it, he was alone again.

He was only able to rest with the promise of staying in touch, that Lance would call when they got back, that they would skype as often as they needed in order to make this work between them again. Keith would visit, and if life continued to not work out here, he would move back home. 

This place was nothing compared to the light that was in Lance's eyes and the smiles directed at Keith for doing nothing more than existing. 

They would see each other soon, and this time, it would work out.

Keith was able to rest knowing that he could trust Lance with the broken pieces of his heart and that Keith would to the same for him. They wouldn't let the distance tear them apart this time.

They would be fine.

~

There were definitely days when Lance had his doubts about everything working out. He was certain that Keith had those days as well. They struck at the worst of times, the ache in his chest that came with missing Keith could be overwhelming sometimes. All he wanted was to be within arm's reach of Keith, not halfway across the country with only an image on his laptop screen to remind him that Keith existed.

Trust hadn't really come naturally to Lance after being screwed over so many times, and now, he was putting all of his trust in a faulty service connection to hear Keith's voice again. 

There were definitely days when Lance wasn't entirely sure how they were going to make it, but he had to set those aside for the days when he  _knew_ that Keith would come back and that he loved the other boy with everything he had

So on the bad days as well as the good, Lance wrote. He wrote about Keith, he wrote about the way his eyes lit up whenever he smiled and how that smile made Lance feel so, so alive. On his best days, he made progress and was confident in what he could create.

A few months into being back, Lance started going to publishing companies.

Sure, the rejections stung at first, but every single one just made him try harder. This is what he had been working for, and he wouldn't let it slip away. Keith had traveled across the country to follow his dreams, so Lance would continue to face rejections and unwarranted comments to follow his own dreams. When he saw Keith again he wanted to feel like he had accomplished something, just like Keith had, even if they eventually found that some accomplishments weren't always necessarily the  _right_ paths to follow.

When they saw each other again they would be new but the same. They would have stories to tell and they would make up for all of the time they had lost.

He couldn't wait for that day.

~

It had almost been a year since Keith had last seen Lance in person. They skyped almost every night and certainly texted every day, almost constantly.

**Lance:** love u babe!! gl at work today!

**Keith:** thanks, have a good day :)

**Lance:** show ur nasty boss who's the best (I will, luv u!!)

**Keith:** :P love you too

Keith pocketed his phone, it vibrated again, but knowing Lance it was probably just a meme or something for Keith to roll his eyes at. Plus, work today was going to be a bitch, it alway was these days. He felt underappreciated, and as much as he was doing what he loved and probably shouldn't complain, he hated working for people who didn't give him the credit he deserved for his work. 

He really should find a new job, but he wasn't sure if he could really afford to quit now, not with deadlines looming and bills to pay. He had moved out of Coran's beach house about halfway through the year, he hadn't wanted to continue to impose, even if he was told that he was always welcome, Keith felt like he should try to start his own life with his own house and his own job to take care of himself. Even if he did end up moving away again, at least he had carved a place for himself along the coast for as long as it was willing to last.

Work passed in a blur, and by the time Keith stumbled back through his door and into his bed, he was too exhausted to even check his phone.

It didn't take long for sleep to overtake him.

~

Lance frowned as his skype call was left unanswered for the third time that night. He knew that Keith had probably had a rough day, but he really wanted to talk to his boyfriend. His texts had also been left unanswered. 

He sighed, he hoped that Keith had at least eaten something. When deadlines were looming Keith tended to forsake taking care of himself for the unholy amount of work on his plate.

Lance opened his phone again, checking his texts hopefully.

Still no answer.

**Keith:** :P love you too

**Lance:** <333

**Lance:** I just remembered!!!

**Lance:** guess who has a book coming out tomorrow

**Lance:** ME

**Lance:** I wish you could be home for the signing/party on Thursday

**Lance:** I'll miss you 

**Lance:** but I totally understand deadlines n' stuff coming up!! so don't feel bad!!

**Lance:** I'll be thinking about you <3 ^-^

Lance smiled to himself a bit sadly, typing out a new message.

**Lance:** remember to eat something babe, sleep well

~

Keith was on his way home from work the next day, absolutely exhausted when he remembered about Lance's book. He had replied to the messages from the day before, and of course, he was upset that he couldn't be with Lance when it came to the local signing he was doing to promote the book, and then the party with his friends. Lance had promised to throw another party when Keith came back, but it wasn't quite the same.

He was super proud of Lance, his boyfriend had come so far, the boy who wanted to make a difference, who wanted to be remembered by the entire world. Now he had made it, he was on his way to making a living off of his words, and if all went well, he would be remembered.

Keith stopped at the huge Barnes and Noble near his apartment and managed to find it amongst the pile of new releases.

_Sweet Sensations_   _By Lance McClain_

Keith smiled, picking it up and paging through the book, pride swelling in his chest.

_Tell me what you think of the dedication ;^)_ Lance had sent earlier, so Keith flipped to the front.

He read it once, and then again, eyes suddenly burning with tears.

_To my muse,_

_as much as I talk big, you're really the only one I've ever wanted to be remembered by._

Stars, he wanted to be with Lance right now, how could he  _not_ be there for this?

Keith snapped the book shut, turning away and walking swiftly out of the store.

He quickly dialed a number and held it up to his ear. "Hey Shiro, any chance you can pick me up at the airport tomorrow?"

~

Lance was impressed with the turnout at the signing. He wasn't really expecting much from a local signing, but it was going rather well.

And hell, he was so fucking excited about it, this was his creation, after all, he had come so far since he had started and it was finally paying off.

Holy hell, if only Keith could've been here with him, that would have been the only way to make the day any better.

When the signing was finally coming to a close, and people were finally dwindling off, Lance was finally able to breathe and think about celebrating with his family and friends that night. He stood up from where he and been sitting and stretched idly.

"Have time for one more?" Someone asked from behind him. Why was that voice so freaking familiar?

"Yeah, sure," Lance said, turning to the last person, his jaw dropped. "Keith?!"

Keith smiled at him brightly, holding up a copy of Lance's book. "Hey,"

Lance wasted no time rushing to Keith and pulling him into his arms. "Holy shit, I didn't think you could come? What about your deadlines?"

"I kinda quit," Keith murmured.

Lance pulled back. "Wait, what?"

"They treated me like shit anyway, so screw it, I quit," Keith was smiling a bit manically, but there was pure joy behind that shocked craze at what he had done. 

"When did you even get back?"

"Shiro picked me up late last night," He said, meeting Lance's eyes with a soft smile. "Now, about signing this?"

"You're ridiculous," Lance laughed, taking Keith's copy and flipping it over to the dedication. Lance smiled down at it as he drew a big, obnoxious heart around the dedication. Underneath he wrote  _love, your one and only, Lance :)_

Keith took it back and smiled like a dork. Star's this moment was just as perfect as Keith had imagined it.

Lance took his hand again and pulled his boyfriend into a quick kiss. The joy in his chest was overflowing. 

There wasn't anything that could possibly make that moment more perfect.

They were together. In the same place. Lance couldn't ask for anything more.

Lance couldn't ask for anything more than this.

If Keith were being honest, he couldn't think of anything better than this either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank everyone again for all of the love and support I've received while writing this story. I couldn't ask for a better audience <3


End file.
